to think my baby should be sleeping through the night

[Confused19831983]

My baby is around eight months old and his bed time is roughly 6.30pm.

He wakes for a feed (he is bottle fed) at around 10.30pm, 2.30am and 6.30am.

The above times are very rough. Sometimes he will wake at 1am and then again at 5am but usually won't sleep for much more than four hours at a time.

His schedule is not too bad to manage between DP and myself but AIBU to think he should be sleeping for longer periods by this age?

He is our first baby.

8 months is commonly the roughest time for sleep and, sorry, that actually sounds alright.

My almost 3 year old has never slept through the night 😅

It’s quite normal for that age to still wake for milk in the night, 2 out of my 3 did. Does he have his milk and then settle easily?

The internet is full of 8 month babies that have slept through at 8 months or less, personally I know 1 or 2 but I would say it's far from the norm. Certainly DS1 (who is now a fantastic sleeper) was up every 4 hours at that age and DS2 (who shows no signs of following his brother's sterling example) was a lot worse.

Eh, by rights he 'should' but unfortunately there's no ministry of babies to complain to. My one year old wakes 3-4 times a night to breastfeed. My DD did this until she was about 2. I think it's more common with breastfeeding but wouldn't surprise me with formula fed babies too. I work FT so I think this also affects the waking - ie he wakes up in part for a cuddle from me which he doesn't get in the day. You can try to get them to eat more in the day of course. And after they turn 1 you can stop offering milk when they wake. But ultimately waking in the night is just something they have to grow out of. I am not being unsympathetic - it is very very hard. However, I don't think you should take false hope.

I think every baby is different - DC1 slept through at 6 months, DC2 was 2.5 years old. A close friend’s DS didn’t sleep through until 5!

How is weaning going? If he’s hungry at night I’d try to increase solids.

First baby didn’t sleep through til 18 months – did so spontaneously after waking hourly from birth. At five she mostly sleeps through but will pop into our bed a couple of times a week, sometimes more sometimes less, if she has a bad dream or is going through something (eg starting school).

Sleep trained the second baby at six months; he still wakes up! He’s night weaned but he’ll wake for teeth, constipation, illness, overtired, undertired, full moon, new moon, day ending in Y, wanting water, wanting a party.

Yours sounds well within the realms of normal. The key is not trying to change the baby, but change you: survival mode! Alternate nights with your DH, alternate big lies-in at the weekend, alternate mini Power Nap lies-in during the week. Doze during naptime instead of doing chores. Hot coffee, scalding showers, fresh air, muttering “bastard bastard bastarding sleep” at squirrels, trees, the sky.

This too shall pass. Then get worse again. Then get better again. It’s a moveable feast.

Sleep is so up and down in the first few years that I definitely wouldn't be expecting anything really at that age.
Separation anxiety can peak around 8months causing more wake ups, teething, trying to crawl basically so much going on developmentally that can make them wake in the night.
DD started sleeping through at 12 months, DS is 13 months and not quite there yet.

I'm sure the sleep training brigade will be along soon to tell you that it's not normal and you should "train" them to sleep but honestly they already know how to sleep they just all take their own time.

As a FTM with DD I found some amazing sleep accounts on Instagram that could help you:

Second star to the right
Little nest sleep
Lyndsey Hookway
Fox and the moon infant sleep
Resting in motherhood
Hey sleepy baby

My five year old doesn’t sleep through the night!

I hate to break this to you but some babies are good at sleeping and some are not. One of mine didn't sleep through the night until early teens. Let us hope yours isn't the same.

You have my full sympathy, broken nights are exhausting.

Sounds like my 10 month old- he goes to sleep at 6pm and up:
9pm milk
3am milk
4am sunny and resettle
5am up ready for the day!

Sometimes he changed it up and bit and wakes at 1.30/2am which is nice 😂

Am hoping it improves by the time I go back to work in a few months....

*dummy
Damn spell check

I think I'd have loved chunks of 4 hours to be honest. Some people get very lucky with babies sleeping through but others don't. Mine didn't sleep through until she was 2.

My 2 year old doesn’t even sleep through the night yet 😂

Eight months? I thought you were going to say he was three or something!

I hope he settles for you soon, OP. To me it sounds like the 02:30 feed is really the only problem. My first invariably woke at 5am for a very long time.

My 2 (almost 3) year old only sleeps through the night on occasion! My first slept through from very early on and always has done, but our second is the exact opposite.

That sounds like my DD at that age. My DD only started sleeping through at around 17-18 months.

Totally normal sleep pattern and anyone who claims most babies sleep through the night at that age is lying! 😉 It gets tiring and the sleep deprivation (yours!) can be brutal. But at least be reassured it's normal. Those are good big chunks of sleep and if your baby goes easily back to sleep all is well.

As others have said, all babies are different, but that sleep schedule sounds fine to me.

At that age I was battling to get my baby to sleep and she quite often wouldn't settle until gone 11pm, despite a solid bedtime routine. The hours I spent in a darkened room...

And then the frequent night wake ups and taking hours sometimes to resettle...

And sometimes being up for the day at 4.30am...

To put your baby down at 6.30pm and have a four hour evening, then around four hours sleep (maybe 3.5 hours) after the 10.30pm feed, and then another solid stretch of sleep sounds like a dream to me.

I didn't get a full night's sleep or an evening to myself until about three years old.

if your baby goes easily back to sleep all is well.
Yes! I almost miss DD’s hourly wakings because she’d go straight back down so while it was horrendous I didn’t have to get out of bed. DS enjoys a split night party time and it’s soul-destroying; he’ll wake the whole house unless he’s lifted up and paced around. And he’s HEAVY.

Eight months is the pits of hell and 2-3 wakes is pretty good.

Aww. I'm sorry. That's so tough. Also sorry to tell you that my 2y8m old only started sleeping through (7-7) from 2y6m. Before that, I was a walking zombie since the day he was born. Exhausting, I feel your pain. Try to grab a nap/ rest whenever you can.

I think 8 months start to feel like they’re realllly old but when you look back 8 months is really early days still. In saying that, both my babies slept through from very early on. If you want to try to make changes to see if it gives you a better night’s sleep, I would look at the rest of your day. How is his milk and food looking the rest of the day? What happens at 6.30am when he is fed then, is he going straight back to sleep again after that or is that you up for the day? The book I read that I’ve based my rough schedule on says your day should start by 7 to allow you enough time to get enough milk into them before bed time again. With my baby I always need to make sure she has a bottle not too long before the bedtime bottle. So 5pm then the one for bedtime is 7pm. Is he ever draining his bottles? Is he actually taking milk during the night every time? I think it’s one of those things that by tweaking one thing at a time very slowly you will be able to gradually get rid of one night feed at a time. Some babies are just hungrier than others though 🙈

If my three are anything to go by, you are over a year away from baby sleeping through... sorry. I would say 4 hour stretches are pretty normal and you might get a 5-6 hour stretch by about a year. But I was also very laid back with sleep and didn't do any sleep training etc.

Of course he should.

I should also be going for a winter holiday to the Caribbean this February half term.

Alas...

Being a bit tongue in cheek - but these "shoulds" don't really have much meaning in reality.

There is no manual for your little boy.

He will sleep through the night one day - promise. Till then hang in there and be kind to yourself and don't force it. Trust it will happen. Good luck.

(My two were around 2.5 years old and in toddler beds before they reliably went to bed at 7.30 and we didn't hear from them again till 7 ish in the morning)

Our 5 year old sleeps 1/10 nights if mums lucky.