to think my baby should be sleeping through the night

[Confused19831983]

My baby is around eight months old and his bed time is roughly 6.30pm.

He wakes for a feed (he is bottle fed) at around 10.30pm, 2.30am and 6.30am.

The above times are very rough. Sometimes he will wake at 1am and then again at 5am but usually won't sleep for much more than four hours at a time.

His schedule is not too bad to manage between DP and myself but AIBU to think he should be sleeping for longer periods by this age?

He is our first baby.

My DD is 8 months old and we started giving her a dream feed at 9pm so an hour before she'd usually wake hungry. This kept her going until about 4am when I'd give another one. Then I moved her into her own room a week or so ago and she's slept through since. Try and give a dream feed before baby wakes at 10.

I’m curious why any baby or toddler goes to bed at 6. Once at nursery this won’t be possible surely 7.15 is outside edge earliest they can realistically be in bed

Also are you weaning yet? Make sure baby has enough calories in the day. A typical day for us is this:

7am - 7oz bottle

9am - weetabix with banana/toast and scrambled egg/porridge/omelette strips

11am - 7oz bottle

13:00 - Ella's kitchen pouch, yoghurt and fruit

15:30 - 7oz bottle

17:30 - whatever we are having cottage pie/spaghetti bolognese/roast etc

Bath at 6pm, cuddles and into cot for 7pm.

I then go and give an 8oz dream feed at 8pm (she used to wake at 9 for bottle).

8 month olds need between 14-16 hours in a 24 hour period, my 8 month old will only have 2 x 1 hour naps a day so she goes to bed at 7 as shes tired then she wakes between 6:30-7.

When she was 6 months she couldn't stay awake past 6pm so that's when she went down for the night.

Still waiting for my five year old to sleep properly...

My first baby reduced the number of times she woke up (from 12 per night at 6 months to once per night at 7 months) as her food intake increased and we offered water every other time she woke up. At 11 months she was sleeping 12h.
My second baby woke only at 1 am and 5 am from the day he was born to the day he reached 22 months. Sleep is a difficult thing to generalise.
Perhaps babies are supposed to be sleeping through at 8 months but nobody seems to have mentioned it to them yet.

Adding to what the bulk of people are saying, it very much seems to be a roll of the dice as to what you get.
Your baby sounds fairly similar to ours really, though her patterns can vary quite a bit week to week.

Totally biologically normal op I'm afraid! Ds was up numerous times during the night at that age as well. There's such a myth that babies should be able to sleep through the night in their own bed and while I fully, fully understand that for some people sleep training becomes non negotiable and you do need to survive, but really you're expecting your baby to do something they aren't biologically designed to do at that age

So don't worry about your baby, do what you need to to survive and it does get better. Ds I think started sleeping through around a year. But even now at 14 months he's going through a regression and has started waking at 3-5am randomly. I find personally, that I cope better when I just go with it and follow his lead and nap where I can rather than try to fight it because I never get anywhere anyways! I'm tired either way but when I accept it I tend to feel less stressed out about it if that makes any sort of sense?

At his age, you can try and see if he's capable of sleeping through. You can try a dream feed, sleep training, making sure he's eating enough during the day if he's on solids etc.

I'm lying here with my 4yo next to her as she's come in. She sleeps through (though then tends to be up for the day at 5.30) maybe 10% of nights. Her older sister is similar and one of us ends up in with her most nights. We had a night where both slept through last week. It was the first in about a year.

Your baby is very young yet.

Your baby sounds similar to all of my children. I remember years of 7.30pm bed and then waking at 12.30/3/6.

All of mine slept through by 3 years, maybe a bit earlier.

It is really really tough. And it seems like forever. But you'll get through it and then they sleep through but you still wake up.

Once your little one has mastered sleeping through, can he teach my 3.5 year old?
Every kid I different. My first born was a brilliant sleeper. I did exactly the same with DS and he's still not got it.

Looks like it'll be an unpopular opinion on here. My baby slept through since 6 months of age. We sleep trained. He weaned himself off night milk.

I have read so much on this topic during my sleepless nights (and I also work in medical research so I can filter out poor analysis/statistics).

Yes, an 8 m.o. is fully capable to STTN (given they are not losing weight, are unwell or teething). They are capable to eat their calories in the day. If they are asking for milk during the night it is either habitual, or they don't get enough calories in the day. This is the age when their teeth also start to come through so it's not good to keep going with this habit as milk contains sugar.

Adults also wake up in the night sometimes hungry sometimes thirsty, but we have learnt to go back to sleep and do all that in the morning. Kids and babies can learn that too.

Have you heard of 'the pause'?

Another technique is to start reducing the amounts of milk offered at night, eventually offering water only.

I don't want to be attacked for the above; this is what has worked for me personally, and also the literature I have read. Also this is for formula-fed; I've no experience with breastfed babies. Good luck op.

Honestly, I think the best advice I ever had was every child is different. I was the smug mum until my daughter turned 2, from leaving the hospital she slept 11/12 hours every night. Sometimes at the weekend we had to delay days out because she decided she wanted a lie in! Now she’s almost 7 and I want to scratch out the eyes of mums at work who's kids are good at bedtime, when my beautiful amazing little girl is dancing round at 10pm laughing about why the sky is blue and I’m slowly losing my sanity! Just roll with it and sleep when you can.

I agree with this, and mine was EBF. Started sleeping through (12 hours) at 9 months. Day sleep affects night sleep, so it's important to get the timing and lengths of those naps right as if a baby is undertired or overtired it makes a difference. Once I nailed the naps, the nights followed. In saying that mine was always a good sleeper anyway so that probably helped I'm sure

4yr old doesn’t sleep through the night either, sorry, I know it’s exhausting. All kids are different.

At 8 months DD’s paediatrician told us to drop the night feeds, it did help a bit, she still woke up though.

😂
my 8 year old still wakes up! (not for milk though must add)

Nothing wrong with optimism OP

There's a book called Teach Your Child to Sleep, written by uK health visitors, and I found it very informative about what to expect at different ages etc and gentle ways to encourage more sleep. Based on thst book and my experience with my twin girls, that sounds like a lot of waking for 8 months, particularly if that's is taking a full bottle at each feed. You could try to reduce the size of each bottle so that he moves his eating from the night to the day. Make sure when he is having milk or eating solids during the day, it is quiet and there is not too much else going on so he focuses on eating. You might not get him to sleep through the night but you could reduce the night wakings by one or two, I bet that would make life a lot easier!

My baby is nearly 10 months now and still wakes during the night. He has stopped wanting a bottle in the night as his intake of solids increased during the day (eventually he just turned his head away from it when me or DH would offer it at night) but still often wakes just needing a cuddle and reassurance. Normally does need a bottle by 5 am though (his bed time is 7pm). It is tough going but each baby is different with differing needs.

Oh no, each night I go to bed thinking maybe tonight will be the night he sleeps through! DS is only 10 months 😂

@Passingthethyme what would you say are the right naps for an 8 mo our of curiosity?

My 2.5 year old didn’t drop her last night feed until 12 months. She still often wakes now at 3ish for a cuddle back to sleep

At 8 months I wasn’t doing any night feeds with either child and they rarely woke, 3 feeds seems a lot. Have you started weaning? Perhaps just very hungry ?

I would not offer water at night as a pp suggested. At 8 months plenty of babies haven’t got the hang of weaning enough to ‘make up for it’.

Yes, you can play around with nap times and look at diet, but the reality is some babies just take longer to develop the ability to sleep through. It’s totally normal.