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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my baby should be sleeping through the night

84 replies

Confused19831983 · 31/01/2024 13:03

My baby is around eight months old and his bed time is roughly 6.30pm.

He wakes for a feed (he is bottle fed) at around 10.30pm, 2.30am and 6.30am.

The above times are very rough. Sometimes he will wake at 1am and then again at 5am but usually won't sleep for much more than four hours at a time.

His schedule is not too bad to manage between DP and myself but AIBU to think he should be sleeping for longer periods by this age?

He is our first baby.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 01/02/2024 06:34

Have only read the OP. All babies are different. DC1 slept at least 6 hours a night regularly from a few weeks old. DC2 slept regularly through the night at about age 7.

No advice, just empathy.

yikesanotherbooboo · 01/02/2024 07:57

I don't think that that is unusual and didn't mind night wakings as long as there was no getting up to play. I was bf which meant that I didn't have to do much . My middle child was sleeping very well at that age but the others were waking 4 hourly or so for feeds. They didn't sleep through until they were much older, long after stopping feeding at night.

OrangeMarmaladeOnToast · 01/02/2024 07:59

Three wakeups a night still at that age is brutal, but definitely within the range of normal.

Londonrach1 · 01/02/2024 08:01

8 months is awful re sleep. Dd slept through from 4 months but at 8 months was up every hour. Ok from 9 months ish onwards. We were lucky. My ds son not slept through yet aged 11. Every child is different...

LegoDeathTrap · 01/02/2024 08:03

Babies are different, and if he’s hungry he’s hungry. Mine used to wake up once a night around that age - go for 6h, milk, then another 4-6h. But this is just how they were - not an achievement of mine. The 8mo sleep regression was not bad in our house, but that’s fair enough because the newborn sleep with DC1 and the 4 mo sleep regression with DC2 were so rough I felt we had paid our dues by then 🤪

You could try: later bedtime, more protein + fat and less carbs at dinner (so meat+veg rather than pasta), think about the middle of the night routine to keep it calm, lights down, get the bottle to him quickly so he doesn’t properly wake up.

snorlax99 · 01/02/2024 08:15

Perfectly normal. My 18 month old doesn't consistently sleep through the night. No one I know has had a baby sleep through at 8 months.

Likemyjealouseel · 01/02/2024 08:37

ChaosAndCrumbs · 01/02/2024 06:27

I would not offer water at night as a pp suggested. At 8 months plenty of babies haven’t got the hang of weaning enough to ‘make up for it’.

Yes, you can play around with nap times and look at diet, but the reality is some babies just take longer to develop the ability to sleep through. It’s totally normal.

You only offer the water. If they want milk, believe me, they will let you know.

DinnaeFashYersel · 01/02/2024 08:41

All babies are different and unfortunately baby will sleep through when baby is ready. Sometimes that can be right into toddlerhood.

TheBirdintheCave · 01/02/2024 08:57

It seems normal I'm afraid... and I am afraid 😂 My first child is one of those mythical unicorn babies who slept through from 12 weeks and still does now aged three. Now pregnant with the second and really worried that we won't get another like him 🙃

pointythings · 01/02/2024 09:06

They're all different. My first did 10 till 7.30 from 10 weeks old. My second fed 11.30 and 2.30 like clockwork until almost a year. Both fully breastfed. As long as they go straight back to sleep it's bearable.

Original poster
Confused19831983 · 02/02/2024 19:07

MintTwirl · 31/01/2024 13:06

It’s quite normal for that age to still wake for milk in the night, 2 out of my 3 did. Does he have his milk and then settle easily?

On a bad night he can take an hour to settle, but usually he goes back down fairly quickly, which we are thankful for.

OP posts:
Original poster
Confused19831983 · 02/02/2024 19:09

ureterr1blemuriel · 31/01/2024 13:08

I think every baby is different - DC1 slept through at 6 months, DC2 was 2.5 years old. A close friend’s DS didn’t sleep through until 5!

How is weaning going? If he’s hungry at night I’d try to increase solids.

He does eat quite a bit. Weetabix for his breakfast, snacks and purées throughout the day. At nursery today he had lamb casserole, macaroni cheese, toast and yoghurt. More than me 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Confused19831983 · 02/02/2024 19:11

kernowpicklepie · 31/01/2024 13:08

Sleep is so up and down in the first few years that I definitely wouldn't be expecting anything really at that age.
Separation anxiety can peak around 8months causing more wake ups, teething, trying to crawl basically so much going on developmentally that can make them wake in the night.
DD started sleeping through at 12 months, DS is 13 months and not quite there yet.

I'm sure the sleep training brigade will be along soon to tell you that it's not normal and you should "train" them to sleep but honestly they already know how to sleep they just all take their own time.

As a FTM with DD I found some amazing sleep accounts on Instagram that could help you:

Second star to the right
Little nest sleep
Lyndsey Hookway
Fox and the moon infant sleep
Resting in motherhood
Hey sleepy baby

Thank you so much for this. I will take a look at those Insta accounts.

OP posts:
Blahblahblah2 · 02/02/2024 19:15

Neither of my children slept through the night till they were 2 years old. Didn't do sleep training, though.

Original poster
Confused19831983 · 02/02/2024 19:17

Desss · 31/01/2024 22:42

I think 8 months start to feel like they’re realllly old but when you look back 8 months is really early days still. In saying that, both my babies slept through from very early on. If you want to try to make changes to see if it gives you a better night’s sleep, I would look at the rest of your day. How is his milk and food looking the rest of the day? What happens at 6.30am when he is fed then, is he going straight back to sleep again after that or is that you up for the day? The book I read that I’ve based my rough schedule on says your day should start by 7 to allow you enough time to get enough milk into them before bed time again. With my baby I always need to make sure she has a bottle not too long before the bedtime bottle. So 5pm then the one for bedtime is 7pm. Is he ever draining his bottles? Is he actually taking milk during the night every time? I think it’s one of those things that by tweaking one thing at a time very slowly you will be able to gradually get rid of one night feed at a time. Some babies are just hungrier than others though 🙈

Thank you for this. He does seem very hungry during the night and is draining his bottles. He has one bottle and some weetabix right before he goes down for the night. Maybe we should try feeding him more milk at the end of the day as you suggest. He's eaten a hell of a lot today at nursery so we'll see if that makes a difference tonight!

OP posts:
Original poster
Confused19831983 · 02/02/2024 19:18

elm26 · 31/01/2024 22:54

My DD is 8 months old and we started giving her a dream feed at 9pm so an hour before she'd usually wake hungry. This kept her going until about 4am when I'd give another one. Then I moved her into her own room a week or so ago and she's slept through since. Try and give a dream feed before baby wakes at 10.

Ah, I like the sound of a dream feed, I will give that a go!

OP posts:
Original poster
Confused19831983 · 02/02/2024 19:24

New2024 · 31/01/2024 23:06

I’m curious why any baby or toddler goes to bed at 6. Once at nursery this won’t be possible surely 7.15 is outside edge earliest they can realistically be in bed

Edited

He's not that good at napping in the day and is usually knackered by about half six. We pick him up from nursery (he's in two days a week atm) at about half five and then once he's home it's bath, food and bed. We don't stick to this religiously and am sure it will change at some point depending on him and us.

OP posts:
Original poster
Confused19831983 · 02/02/2024 19:26

elm26 · 31/01/2024 23:06

Also are you weaning yet? Make sure baby has enough calories in the day. A typical day for us is this:

7am - 7oz bottle

9am - weetabix with banana/toast and scrambled egg/porridge/omelette strips

11am - 7oz bottle

13:00 - Ella's kitchen pouch, yoghurt and fruit

15:30 - 7oz bottle

17:30 - whatever we are having cottage pie/spaghetti bolognese/roast etc

Bath at 6pm, cuddles and into cot for 7pm.

I then go and give an 8oz dream feed at 8pm (she used to wake at 9 for bottle).

This is helpful, thank you. We will have to start feeding him a bit more I think on the days he's not in nursery. Though he hates egg! Gobbles down everything else we give him like there's no tomorrow 😂

OP posts:
Snowdropsarecoming · 02/02/2024 19:27

Confused19831983 · 02/02/2024 19:09

He does eat quite a bit. Weetabix for his breakfast, snacks and purées throughout the day. At nursery today he had lamb casserole, macaroni cheese, toast and yoghurt. More than me 😂

Show quote history

He is too young for snacks. He is probably filling up in lower calorie food and needs to make up for it with milk over night.

Although it’s still perfectly normal to still wake over night.

Starrysky812 · 02/02/2024 19:28

My 14 month old still doesn't sleep through. She occasionally manages 4-5 hour spells but this is unusual. It's normally a wake up every 1-3 hours and sometimes, after she's been down only 15 minutes she'll be awake again! It's great that your DS seems to have a good few hours asleep at a time, and I'm sure that will lead to even longer periods of sleep over the coming months. But what you've described is totally normal for an 8 month old so definitely don't worry xx

JacquiDaytona · 02/02/2024 19:29

8-11 months was THE WORST in terms of sleep for us! Got much better after that but probably didn’t sleep reliably through til 25/16 months. Our little boy is 18 months now and I often have to wake him at 7:30 to get to nursery on time - it’s absolutely fantastic 😂

Figgygal · 02/02/2024 19:29

My first slept through 8 weeks until 18 weeks then not until he was over 1
Dc2 didn't sleep through consistently until 2.5 and then woke pre 6 every day until he was well into 3
Lower your expectations op

Original poster
Confused19831983 · 02/02/2024 19:32

Anycrispsleft · 01/02/2024 05:48

There's a book called Teach Your Child to Sleep, written by uK health visitors, and I found it very informative about what to expect at different ages etc and gentle ways to encourage more sleep. Based on thst book and my experience with my twin girls, that sounds like a lot of waking for 8 months, particularly if that's is taking a full bottle at each feed. You could try to reduce the size of each bottle so that he moves his eating from the night to the day. Make sure when he is having milk or eating solids during the day, it is quiet and there is not too much else going on so he focuses on eating. You might not get him to sleep through the night but you could reduce the night wakings by one or two, I bet that would make life a lot easier!

Edited

Thank you. Will have a look at that book. Reducing by just one would be amazing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Confused19831983 · 02/02/2024 19:34

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 01/02/2024 06:24

At 8 months I wasn’t doing any night feeds with either child and they rarely woke, 3 feeds seems a lot. Have you started weaning? Perhaps just very hungry ?

He does seem very hungry. We are weaning him. Like a lot have said, he perhaps needs a bit more food during the day.

OP posts:
AhBiscuits · 02/02/2024 19:35

Neither of mine slept through reliably until they were 2.