Don’t have more kids if you can’t afford them!

[SportMum1982]

I’m not a raving Tory! But honestly I would have loved more children!!! I would have loved 4 kids but I know we cannot afford 4 kids.

Why do people expect the state to pay for their children? Bar education though! If I’m being really cruel tell me, but I feel I did want more kids but stopped.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-67999028

Posters keep telling us we need more children because of an ageing population are talking bollocks. How is keep increasing the population who are all going to age therefore needing to keep increasing and increasing going to work?

The planet is overpopulated. The UK is overpopulated. Far far too many people and the last thing we should be doing is adding to the numbers.

Also no guarantee that all these "needed" children are going to work. I have neighbours in their mid 30's one of whom has never worked and the other worked a whole 3 years since leaving school. They openly admit they don't work because they don't want to and are claiming benefits they are not really entitled to. They have 4 children. If those children take after their parents they won't work either

You surely agreed to having 5 children, did you not consider things could change?

AGAIN, if you had thought about how circumstances might change you either would not have had that many children or made arrangements that you would be able to cope

"I'm not a raving Tory." - yes, yes you are.

Agree too with everything you said.

The benefits system needs a complete overhaul.

Genuine, non-judgemental question: Does your sister rely on benefits that are capped at two children? Or does the ex-DH contribute to their children? What I'd like to know if you're willing/able to share, is were there plans in place in case of relationship breakdown?

I conepltely think it's unfair on those families where relationships have broken down or a parent has died or lost their job. It really must be so so difficult. However, I know of someone who has never worked and claimed benefits and had two children. Fine. Relationship broke down, also totally understand but then went onto meet someone new and have a further two more children with someone else who also doesn't work and had children from a previous relationship which he couldn't pay for. That is what I have a problem with. The further two children were planned. How is that right? Surely there needs to be a cap to say that actually we won't support you to have yet more
Children that you can't financially support. Not sure what the answer is.

Are you under the impression that Labour will change this policy? Because they have been clear that they will not, despite saying how unethical it was when it was implemented.

No one needs to have five children. Like a PP said, things like death, illness, divorce happen. More consideration should be given to this when deciding to have multiple children.

We wanted a large family. We had a large family that we could easily afford at that time. I am unaware of a Chinese-style 'one child only' policy that applies here.

Taxpayers are now stuck in a kind of emotional blackmail situation whereby they have to fund feckless people making shit decisions over and over ‘otherwise you will be responsible for their kids starving/freezing in their beds/having no shoes on their feet’.

And if you dare mention the fact a lot of the time the money is misspent and used for PlayStations/vapes/Nike clothing, it’s ‘Well, why shouldn’t they have nice things, I take it you would bring back workhouses, good for them I say’.

Yet when somebody who actually earns their own money (especially a higher wage) is down that they’ve had to cut back their own treats due to cost of living, it’s ‘I don’t feel sorry for you, you should cut your cloth accordingly, you’re lucky compared to most, this is the risk you run when you live a champagne lifestyle’.

It’s utterly mad. Yes the Tories are a shower of shit but our country is getting poorer and poorer due to people finding any excuse not to work and contribute while blaming ‘the government’ for not providing them with five star services and everything they want for free.

But you can't account for every variable. What about if we'd won the lottery and had millions of pounds at our disposal? Should we think about those circumstances and how they might change our lives? At the time we had the babies, this seemed as likely as our separation.

Yes, you WANTED a large family so you had one. Pretty selfish really. You could afford them at the time but did you never ever stop and think about the future? Did you not realise that couples split up or that one of you could become ill and be unable to work?

No one is saying there should be a 1 child policy but no one needs 5 children

I think having a larger family is a choice just as not having children is. I don’t see one as intrinsically better than the other. I do agree that if you have children you should be able to support them. There will always be those that have unforeseeable difficulties though.

How many children would you say a person needs?

More selfish is her husband disappearing. Maybe if he hadn't she might have been able to support the children without benefits.

If the war situation does escalate in the future, who will be doing the fighting?

I thought I'd heard the worst reason to have a child, but no. This one takes the biscuit.

I know people don't like it and don't agree with it and it's unpalatable, but she is allowed to be a Tory. In fact she shouldn't have felt the need to add the disclaimer.

There should be an exemption for this

If people choose to have more than 2 children they have to accept that if their circumstances change they could struggle - that's life.

Couples split up all the time. The divorce rate in the UK is 42% so hardly unusual.

There is

Expecting adults to take responsibility for their own decisions doesn’t make you a ‘raving Tory’.

And the other fact is that more relationships now break down than they used to. This is adding to the issue. Couples - rightly or wrongly - are more ready to call time on their relationship.

2 children is plenty, even from an emotional well-being standpoint . DP came from a big family (5 kids) and it meant times where the fridge was getting rather bare, making things stretch, and ultimately, less time between parents and individual child. I am an only child, money was never scarce, we didn’t live lavishly but we had what we needed to be comfortable, and I had unlimited contact to both parents with no sibling competition! Our family income was similar. My DP says his parents did their best but the more children, the less time there is for each. I learned to swim with my mum…he learned to doggie paddle in school swimming lessons. I did a sport…he didn’t cause it wasn’t affordable to do for all of them. As the oldest, he started out on home made baby food etc…by the later kids it was whatever could be afforded and easily plopped on a plate.

You should also choose the person you procreate with wisely so if the marriage doesn't work out, they will still continue to be a father to their children

Parents should also take responsibility for the social mobility of their children. There is a world of opportunity in UK but not everyone makes use of it . Aspire and encourage....... if you have poor mental or physical health, optimise it the best you can so you can be the parent your child needs