Don’t have more kids if you can’t afford them!

[SportMum1982]

I’m not a raving Tory! But honestly I would have loved more children!!! I would have loved 4 kids but I know we cannot afford 4 kids.

Why do people expect the state to pay for their children? Bar education though! If I’m being really cruel tell me, but I feel I did want more kids but stopped.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-67999028

Would you choose to have another knowing this might make you struggle more ?

Circumstances change so you need to think what if before conceiving extra children. I would have loved more but I knew I couldn't afford them

I have a standard of care I want to give ALL children.

I read the article and one of the parents, 'Frances' who has three children mentioned her financial plans were based on being a two-parent family but then the relationship broke up. I think there should be some sympathy for people whose circumstances change.

Thick perspective. What do you suggest, rounding up all these kids? They are hardly living a life of luxury scraping by on the bare fucking minimum.
But well done you 👏

I think it's a shit policy, tbh.

There should either be no child benefits, or child benefit for all children in low income households.

We either accept that children shouldn't be raised in poverty and that raising children in poverty conditions results in costly adults, or we pull the plug and make all children simply the concern of individual families.

This half way house in which some children under particular conditions are subbed and other children under different conditions are not is madness.

What and ignorant, horrible post.

Should disabled people be banned from having children?

Do you think women should be forced to have an abortion against their will, because their partner left them?

Should women have their children taken away because they lost their job or became ill or their husband died or left?

No one's circumstances are perfect and no one's circumstances remain fixed. Good situations can turn bad and bad situations can turn good.

If parents are at uni with children, they would be quite poor, but then become quite well off once they're in their chosen careers!

It isn't parents fault when cost of living spirals out of control and wages go down is it?

It isn't children's fault they've been born into poverty so why shouldn't the state step in with help? That is literally what the state is for. We all pay in so we can support at tunes of life when we are vulnerable, such as for schooling, when we might be unable to work for whatever reason.

I hate posts like this. Ultimately, they're dripping with mother shaming and misogyny.

@Thehamsterthatcametotea but the ‘unfortunate circumstances’ cases don’t make up the majority of people who have more children than they can afford.

@Desecratedcoconut but there are child benefits for children in low income households...and it's capped at 2 children.

Its totally fair and right. If people decide to have 5 kids, knowing there's a benefit cap...that's their look out.

No, I don't think so. It is for the benefit of the children. They aren't deciding on how many children their parents are having.

This woman has 5 bloody kids.
I had one child because that's all I could afford. I'd have loved two.
Shae needs to google contraception and not have any more. Who needs 5 kids anyway.

From the article: “The Resolution Foundation's research also suggests: Half of families with three children or more will be in poverty by 2028-29, up from a third in 2013-14”

I wonder how much of this is driven by peoples budgets being tighter than ever, and how much is it driven by the number of families opting for 3+ kids increasingly being those without work / very low income.

I don’t know anyone with three kids. Too expensive - can’t afford the childcare, can’t afford to stop work, can’t afford a house with four bedrooms etc. And we are pretty well off - the quality of life impact to have another is just too big.

I suspect having lots of kids is increasingly the preserve of the very rich (finances don’t matter) and the very poor (with time and perhaps living somewhere v cheap).

Oh come on.

I agree in principle about having the children you can afford but if the parents involved aren’t as sensible as they could be it’s completely unfair to just leave the children involved to rot. No child deserves to grow up in poverty, no matter what choices their parents have made. They deserve the best possible start, and far too many children are being let down.

We’re supposed to be a civilised society, we have a duty to support these families. Yet some of us still want to see young children made to suffer for the choices of their parents.

This is the crux of it for me, the children who have no control over the circumstances theyre born into deserve support.

Peoples circumstances can change, but let's be real not everyone who struggles to financially support and provide from numerous children had the stability and financial security before conceiving to provide a decent standard of living. Its unpopular to say but of course personal responsibility should come into it, acknowledging that for some there are factors which make this challenging to navigate. I don't believe children should just be for rich people and it's right we support families, but having a fair few children is unnecessary (and I know it isn't always an active choice ie abusive relationship etc but it often is a choice). Anecdotally most wealthy people have fewer children than poorer families, it's unusual to find high earners with more than 3 children, people cut their cloth accordingly if they know they have to support themselves.

One of my neighbours had a lot of support from the community for their 2 children when they were struggling financially which is sad it's needed but also great that people care. We all listening to them both cry about finding it so hard to afford things and about how the house was too small for them; they spoke about wanting more children and have to say did judge them for having another when they had 2 and were notably struggling and accepting help from others to stay afloat.

Um no.

Contraception fails. Big life changes happen. It's just how it is.

I had one child , but I don't judge larger families because it's not my place to. It's a personal choice.

I think the 2 child cap is cruel. Our birthrate is dipping, and we have this bollocks in place.

Just my opinion.

The children born into this situation didn’t have that choice. Why should they have to suffer for it.

I agree there should be a cap (not entirely sure at which number) but I also think it’s the kids who suffer most - yes it’s possible that their parents might be reckless in their decision making, but it’s not the DC’s fault they’re here - and when they’re living in overcrowded houses and can’t get new school shoes it impacts them the hardest.

im not sure what the solution is though, admittedly.

I agree. It's the wider implications over the world being over-populated. If the population continues to increase at the present alarming late eventually something will need to be done about it. Quite what I'm not sure.

Circumstances change but when people are planning big families (4, 5 kids) i think they really need to think carefully about what if things go awry. Not sure that always happens.

It's fine to acknowledge the truth that plenty of people with large families have never been financially stable or had a decent enough income to support these children.

Society is brimful with people who make crap choices and decisions over and over and over again. This is not a surprise, surely?

Yeah but if you leave the benefits system as a free for all, you end up with people who have 8, 10, 12 kids who they don't parent properly cos they just keep having kids to stop having to go back to work. WHERE does the government draw the line?

From the article:

• Half of families with three children or more will be in poverty by 2028-29, up from a third in 2013-14
• At the same time, the number of two-child families in poverty is expected to stay the same, at one in four
• Six out of 10 families affected by the two-child limit are in work
• Larger families are significantly more likely to use food banks

I don't think it is remotely acceptable for so many children to be living in poverty in a wealthy country. Half of larger families, and a quarter of families with two children living in poverty. Put that on the side of a bus.

Do you though? Was that the norm before the limit was introduced? Has the change had any impact other than more children living in poverty?

I agree with this.

I think that these sorts of posts are generally from people who lead privileged, or at least comfortable, lives and have not really encountered hardship much.

When I had my three DDs I could afford it. Over the years circumstances conspired to make things very difficult and I have been on the bones of my arse at times for finances.

I'm still glad I had my children. They are grown up now, in their twenties, doing very well for themselves and not financially dependent on anyone.

I hate it when people judge.