To think my cleaner is being bloody ridiculous!

[Namechange20002]

Oldest DS is in primary school. He started scratching his head a lot the weekend before last and obviously my first thought was the dreaded head lice! Turned out to be that, so we treated the whole family with Nitwits and have been doing the daily slog of nit combing. DH has been threatening to shave his head for years due to his receding hairline and took DS’s head lice as an excuse opportunity to do that.

So come today, our cleaner arrives in the morning, I'm at work so not there. She comes in and sees DH shaved head and asks him about it. He doesn’t think anything of it and says oh the kids had head lice last week so I shaved my head. He then pops to the shops and returns 15 minutes later to find her sitting in her car. He asks her what’s wrong and she says she doesn’t want to go back in the house. At the same time she’s messaged me at work saying
”Your husband told me the kids have lice. Is that right? Can I come back another day as I’m a bit scared to be honest”

AIBU to think this is absolutely absurd behaviour?! I get that no one would want to get nits, but unless she’s physically rubbing her own head against my child’s head she’s not gonna get nits from just being in our house!
Shes made me feel like a bloody leper!

I'm not going to wait around until she feels "brave" enough to be in a house where a child has had nits, when said child isn't even in the house at the time!
I pay to have my house cleaned every week and that's all I'm interested in. Thankfully I don't have to pander to her "phobia" or try and educate her on nits to persuade her to return, the company can simply provide a different cleaner.

It's shocking the amount if misinformation people seem to have about nits!
I saw one poster refer to it as an "infectious disease" 🙄

My skin is crawling reading this thread. Have a bit of empathy fgs and rearrange for another day 🙄

I'm obviously not going to force her to clean my house if she's not comfortable!
I have 3 children so I'm fairly certain this isn't the last time we'll be dealing with head lice.
I pay to have my house cleaned every week, I don't care who does it as long as someone does! If the company can provide a cleaner that is slightly more educated on head lice, great!

I’d laugh, sorry that’s absolutely ridiculous.

I am a cleaner.

I do not work in clients homes where there is a FLEA issue as these can get in your clothes and be transferred home and to other clients homes. Nor do I go where there are D&V bugs that are contagious and I don’t want to lose days off work.

However, nits would not bother me if it had been treated. I wouldn’t want to go to a home where the occupants don’t appear to be dealing with the issue. I would appreciate being told though so I can make sure I don’t touch the towels which I usually refold neatly, or the pillows which I might plump/tidy on the bed. Nits can survive without a human host for 48hrs.

absolutely insane. YANBU

I don't think I'd want to be knowingly around people with headlice - I've had them myself and they're a real pain to get rid of.

@Talk66talk @Chickenkeev my friend totally freaked out too but then we both started laughing! I was like I’m so sorry and she was like omg!

Anyway as she was heading out the door I said check the kids!!!

Her son (totally coincidentally) had a bump at school the following day and the school called and said please collect him and check him for head lice, my friend said they’d said they had seen them. Then her teenage daughter who literally has hair to her bum, turns out she (and he) had them. She’s a single mum so it was all a bit of a mission, especially the daughter’s hair.

We are still friends lol! If anything she was grateful to me for telling her.

I think your current cleaner was more educated than you are on head lice. You posted “unless she’s physically rubbing her own head against my child’s head she’s not gonna get nits” which is 100% not true. You’ve also said they are now all clear of head lice and nits when it has been less than a week since you started treatment- which is impossible as it takes two weeks minimum to clear a louse infestation due to its lifecycle.

But it's astoundingly unlikely, otherwise all primary teachers would catch nits many times a year. Many teachers teach children who have untreated nits for months and months and constantly reinfected others so they are present at all times in the classroom. It just doesn't happen though.

Except it does happen. Plenty of posts on here from people who have acquired lice without rubbing heads with an infested child. It’s not common, but it’s not “astoundingly unlikely” either.

No it's a handful of posts. The logic just doesn't follow. I know it to be true that
a) nits are prevalent in primary classrooms; and
b) primary teachers don't suffer from sporadic nit infection over their careers.
I've worked in education for years. I just don't see how you can explain that if it isn't anything other than astoundingly unlikely.

It’s not just posters sharing their experiences, it is also the official guidance from the CDC too.

Also, how do you know primary teachers never catch head lice? Are they regularly checked? Do they over-share this info so everyone knows?

She’s perhaps OTT but personally I think so are you and your husband. Him shaving his head probably made it seem like it was a bigger issue than it was. While I do think you’re not obligated to clean this cleaner on I think asking for a new one was unkind. A lot of cleaners who work for these agencies are self-employed, so you’ve just removed some of her income over a very minor incident.

I'll admit I've not surveyed teachers but I have worked in schools for years and years and it's never a thing anyone has complained about and all sorts has been discussed in the staffroom. Lots of my friends are teachers and I know for a fact they and I have never had nits. I've taught classes where there has been nits present every single day in the school year and not caught them. If teachers were catching nits from pupils there would definitely be a backlash about the fact nothing can be done if a child isn't treated for them.

Oh come on, what teacher is going to announce in the staff room that they have nits?

Teachers talk about their sex lives in the staffroom so I've no doubt if staff were at the end of their tether constantly catching nits from children they taught that they would discuss it. I've also had conversations with teachers and we've discussed how strange it is we've never caught nits. Finally, I know I must have spent well over 1000 days in the precence of nits over my career and have never caught them. I think people are vastly underestimating how common nits are in primary classrooms. It would be a real occupational hazard of teaching if you could catch them that easily!

I’m obviously not going to pay her to sit in her car every week am I!
If she’s too scared to step foot in my house it’s not going to be any different next week.

Nowhere did, I suggest that you should pay her for not doing work. There is a world of difference in asking for an interim cleaner who is happy to cover given the head lice situation and binning off an otherwise good cleaner because she felt uncomfortable. You have also overreacted.

Sorry, but I'd be finding another cleaner. You've treated everyone in the house and presumably washed all bedding towels at 60 degrees. She clearly needs to have a science lesson in how head lice are spread and what the risks are.

So how exactly is it going to be any different next week? I have three children, this isn’t last time we’ll be dealing with nits, they may even have it again in a couple of weeks, heck they may even have it now!
I’m not going to scrabble around each time to get a replacement cleaner. She’s not comfortable being my house, that’s her choice and I respect that. She’s not going to suddenly be fine with the thought of nits is she!

Actually we did talk about getting nits. Occupational hazard. When you work with little kids you deal with all sorts - snot, boggies, nose bleeds, wee, poo, worms, snails in pockets etc etc