To think my cleaner is being bloody ridiculous!

[Namechange20002]

Oldest DS is in primary school. He started scratching his head a lot the weekend before last and obviously my first thought was the dreaded head lice! Turned out to be that, so we treated the whole family with Nitwits and have been doing the daily slog of nit combing. DH has been threatening to shave his head for years due to his receding hairline and took DS’s head lice as an excuse opportunity to do that.

So come today, our cleaner arrives in the morning, I'm at work so not there. She comes in and sees DH shaved head and asks him about it. He doesn’t think anything of it and says oh the kids had head lice last week so I shaved my head. He then pops to the shops and returns 15 minutes later to find her sitting in her car. He asks her what’s wrong and she says she doesn’t want to go back in the house. At the same time she’s messaged me at work saying
”Your husband told me the kids have lice. Is that right? Can I come back another day as I’m a bit scared to be honest”

AIBU to think this is absolutely absurd behaviour?! I get that no one would want to get nits, but unless she’s physically rubbing her own head against my child’s head she’s not gonna get nits from just being in our house!
Shes made me feel like a bloody leper!

Well, she is! Does she not use public transport or go to the shops or the doctor?

Good lord, some people need to get a serious grip 🤦‍♀️ I spend my days quite literally surrounded by small children who are often crawling with lice (and god knows what else, bless their hearts 😔) I've literally watched the blighters (the lice not the child) make their way from head, to eyebrow and drop down onto reading books, as I'm sat next to a child reading to me, as hundreds more writhe around on the poor child's head. It's a literal nit-fest! And I can't show any kind of emotion, other than 'yay, well done, fabulous reading 👍' as I discretely gather up half a dozen lice in a blue paper towel off the desk!

Even reading this makes me feel sick and itchy. Its tiny creepy crawlies. Can't cope with it. If (when) my child gets them I will probably cry 🤣🤣🤣

I’m pretty easy going but nope sorry she’s being ridiculous. You can’t be a house cleaner with that level of phobia. Does she clean people’s houses who have pets? Fleas can jump and they bite people. What if you’ve just got back from holiday? Your luggage could be carrying bed bugs.

@Chickenkeev my point is that me catching them (as a 60 year old) off public transport clearly shows it does not have to be head to head contact. I am assuming that the lice were on the train/bus seat for me to catch them. So her worries are that the lice may be on the furniture is reasonable if a little hysterical.

This is like an alternate reality of middle class mums well off enough to hire a cleaner but instead of bragging as to how spotless their home is, it’s become a sort of competitive as to who is least fussed about parasitical infestations.

I wonder if anyone will share their outrage over a cleaner refusing to work because they had bedbugs, and isn’t that ridiculous because haven’t they stayed in a hotel or been on the Eurostar once in their impoverished lives?

It’s almost like cleaners have no right to complain about working in infested homes because they are the help.

Yes but does she avoid aĺl 'unvetted' furniture? Pubs? Cafes? Relatives houses? It's her choice, but it's a crazy hill to die on when it comes to your job like!

I was a parent for 17 years before my youngest kindly caught them from a kid at school. I dumped conditioner on all our heads combed through then rinsed and ex brought us treatment. Youngest had 2 giant crawlies I killed them but they had laid eggs so lots of combing etc for next week or so. His brothers (3 of) escaped them. As did I. Ex is bald and so was happy about that.

I am also a nurse so have deloused kids on the ward I worked on. Wasn’t very nice for them or me but parents refused to treat so it was social work stepped in to get child treated prior to discharge. Sure enough they’d come back infested the next time.
had one poor child whole head moving with them once. Was a fractured femur so treatment was awful as positioning whilst in traction (15 years ago) was awful makes you so itchy thinking about them. Feeling sick or gross won’t get you far, just treat and move on.

@Chickenkeev I think if it worries her for whatever reason then she has the choice to say 'no' whether anyone feels she is ridiculous or not. I would never have believed I could have got them from 'furniture' but I did. Her fears are not entirely unfounded therefore. judging her is unfair.

Whilst I think it’s an overreaction from her, I’d be absolutely fine with a cleaner missing a day due to this fear. Is she otherwise reliable, trustworthy and good at her job? If so, just accept that some people don’t want to be in the same house as lice.

She has the choice of course, but she's making herself look a bit flakey. It's just not great for the job.

@MrsMiagi

do you understand how you catch lice? Head to head contact so unless you intend to get up close and personal with the kids there’s no issue

@Tinkerbyebye
Have you not read what I said about my experience? Seems you're not correct.

You do know that your eyelashes are hosts to microscopic mites that live there permanently?

That’s not the only way to catch lice. They can live for up to 2 days without a host and frequently find a head to crawl on to during that time.

Poor crater probably thought they were some kind of ninja nits when she clocked your DHs head.

I don't see what harm there would have been to allow her back in a couple of days if she seemed genuinely fearful. Maybe you had the greater overreaction by asking for a different cleaner.

I think she needs some grips. Thank goodness she isn't a primary school teacher.

We'll sleep sounder with that knowledge tonight 😂

People are ridiculous nowadays. There's always an excuse such as a 'phobia' or 'anxiety' to shut down any suggestion that behavior such as this is ignorant and stupid.
If the cleaner does not know that headlice cannot be 'caught' from an empty house then she needs to educate herself.
That's the trouble today - instead of finding out about this, she is excused by so many what ifs and excuses. We have a world if knowledge at out fingertips today yet people are encouraged to be victims rather than empower themselves with knowledge. Strange world we live in.

Lumping anxiety in there is unfair on those of us with it. I can't leave the house because of it. It's not funny.

I understand my comfort level with things is not everyone's comfort level. If the cleaner didn't want to be in your house because of nits, she has every right not to be. No need to be up in arms about it.

It sounds like she doesn't know how head lice spread that's all.

I think OP is the one who overreacted tbh having the cleaner reassigned.

Good grief. I can't believe that just over 1/4 of the people who voted have said YABU

That’s interesting, yes she’s also from another part of Europe. I do think it’s either a cultural thing or a misunderstanding of head lice!

I was going to ask this myself, but more from an EAL / translation pov - I was wondering if she was thinking fleas or something.

She is clearly being ridiculous about headlice, so much so, that is why I wondered if there was a 'lost in translation' thing. But what is so bizarre is that there are clearly a number of other people with the same way of thinking.