To think my cleaner is being bloody ridiculous!

[Namechange20002]

Oldest DS is in primary school. He started scratching his head a lot the weekend before last and obviously my first thought was the dreaded head lice! Turned out to be that, so we treated the whole family with Nitwits and have been doing the daily slog of nit combing. DH has been threatening to shave his head for years due to his receding hairline and took DS’s head lice as an excuse opportunity to do that.

So come today, our cleaner arrives in the morning, I'm at work so not there. She comes in and sees DH shaved head and asks him about it. He doesn’t think anything of it and says oh the kids had head lice last week so I shaved my head. He then pops to the shops and returns 15 minutes later to find her sitting in her car. He asks her what’s wrong and she says she doesn’t want to go back in the house. At the same time she’s messaged me at work saying
”Your husband told me the kids have lice. Is that right? Can I come back another day as I’m a bit scared to be honest”

AIBU to think this is absolutely absurd behaviour?! I get that no one would want to get nits, but unless she’s physically rubbing her own head against my child’s head she’s not gonna get nits from just being in our house!
Shes made me feel like a bloody leper!

Neither is the OPs

Or get a bus. Or stand in queue. Some people!

How long was she supposed to leave it without telling the cleaner? If the kids had a cold should she tell her as well? Even if they no longer have a cold, are back in school and not in the house?

To answer of few of the common posts. Yes my husband did tell her we’d all been treated and were clear. I also responded to her message to say yes they’d had head lice last week, had been treated and were now clear.

Obviously I’m not going to message her prior to the clean to say, oh FYI the kids had nits last week, who does that!
We've got a plumber coming to the house on Thursday, do I need to give him a ring in the morning and tell him the same?! No that’s absurd.

I think it’s your responsibility to do the decontamination lice proof cleaning before a cleaner comes into your home. The following are steps that can be taken to help prevent and control the spread of head lice:

• Avoid head-to-head (hair-to-hair) contact during play and other activities at home, school, and elsewhere (sports activities, playground, slumber parties, camp).
• Do not share clothing such as hats, scarves, coats, sports uniforms, hair ribbons, or barrettes.
• Do not share combs, brushes, or towels. Disinfest combs and brushes used by an infested person by soaking them in hot water (at least 130°F) for 5–10 minutes.
• Do not lie on beds, couches, pillows, carpets, or stuffed animals that have recently been in contact with an infested person.
• Machine wash and dry clothing, bed linens, and other items that an infested person wore or used during the 2 days before treatment using the hot water (130F/60C) laundry cycle and the high heat drying cycle. Clothing and items that are not washable can be dry-cleaned OR sealed in a plastic bag and stored for 2 weeks.
• Vacuum the floor and furniture, particularly where the infested person sat or lay. However, spending much time and money on housecleaning activities is not necessary to avoid reinfestation by lice or nits that may have fallen off the head or crawled onto furniture or clothing.
• Do not use fumigant sprays or fogs; they are not necessary to control head lice and can be toxic if inhaled or absorbed through the skin.

“I get that no one would want to get nits, but unless she’s physically rubbing her own head against my child’s head she’s not gonna get nits from just being in our house!”- the most common way of transmission isn’t the only way…

from the CDC:
”Head lice are spread most commonly by direct head-to-head (hair-to-hair) contact. However, much less frequently they are spread by sharing clothing or belongings onto which lice have crawled or nits attached to shed hairs may have fallen. The risk of getting infested by a louse that has fallen onto a carpet or furniture is very small. Head lice survive less than 1–2 days if they fall off a person and cannot feed..”

My children must have had the rare leaping lice. I was treating their hair while I was protecting my own hair with a shower cap. One of the little blighters jumped onto my jersey. My hands were covered in conditioner so I had to yell for my husband to delouse my jersey. We had a real struggle to eradicate them. The chemicals don't seem to work any more and we had to use conditioner and a lice comb every day for about a week. I wouldn't be keen either if I was your cleaner.

Yanbu she is being ridiculous! She probably encounters kids with nits regularly when she goes shopping.

Buy her a swimming cap.

Gosh people are so fragile - yeah she’s being ridiculous

Have you got any of that police tape lying around? That would be the easiest way of warning people off.

They can’t be clear after only one week of treatment. It takes at least two weeks to fully clear lice and nits because of the lifecycle.

What a silly fuss she's making. Let's hope she doesn't swap from cleaning to hairdressing or teaching 😂

I have never, as a child or adult, had or had to deal with nits, therefore I know very little about them.

So if confronted with being in a home where they were I would probably be a bit on edge about it all. If it was my own home I'd need to learn quick and deal with it, elsewhere I'd make a decision I felt comfortable with.

Maybe she thinks they are like fleas and get everywhere, which while incorrect is not that big a jump, especially when confronted with someone who shaved their head because of them!

Cut her a little slack.

Was thinking of just marking the front door with a big red cross like in the olden days

Maybe she doesn't know how they spread and just freaked out thinking they were like fleas or bedbugs that you really don't want to go near.

I would just explain they're not catching in that way.

I wouldn't lose a good cleaner over one wobble, however silly it might seem

How is she going to catch them?

You have a cleaner to save you time. Why would you bother giving them a biology lesson to persuade them to come and do the job you pay them for? Just get another cleaner.

If the kids do still currently have nits/lice then it's not ideal to have people in the home that might catch them. If the treatment is complete, explain to her that they had them x days ago and the whole family are treated.
Or, just accept what she says and arrange for her to come next week. Presumably she knows the lice are not permanent?
I'd be a little peeved with DH for mentioning the lice to her tbh as it would be a slim chance she'd catch them if you've done/ are doing the treatment. You should tell him not to mention your family's minor health problems to near strangers.

Does your cleaner normally change bedding for you, pick up towels, etc? She might have an ick about doing that (I wouldn’t myself, but I worked as a hotel housekeeper and have seen it all!) I’d cut her some slack for one (paid) week, but I’d make clear I expect her back next week.

I think your cleaner is being completely ridiculous.

No she doesn’t touch the towels or change the bedding. She doesn’t even make the beds as we put all the toys etc on top of the beds before she comes so she can hoover

Where is she from OP? We used to have a cleaner from another part of Europe and when the children caught nits, she seemed genuinely disgusted. Might it be a cultural thing? I think it’s a bit pathetic, personally but each to their own….

Headlice make me feel sick, so I sympathise with your cleaner. Some people can't help being grossed out by things.

I don't think anyone would welcome them with open arms but being a cleaner, i'd imagine you need to be made of sterner stuff. And anyway, they're everywhere so it's the luck of the draw whether you get them or not.