Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m going to have to talk to the school aren't I?

101 replies

ScaringMajor · 30/01/2024 16:32

Over Christmas I was discussing booking a holiday this year with my children. They’re both desperate to go to Disney, but I’m a single parent and it’s so crazy expensive! So I spoke to them and explained that I would look into it, but that it’s a very expensive holiday so it would be our only holiday this year, and we would be cutting down on treats like expensive trips out, treats at the supermarket and take out. To be honest, it’s all stuff we waste money on anyway and should be cutting back on it so it seemed like a good idea. all sorted, holiday booked.

Last month, son comes home from school with a loaf of bread. Not completely unusual, the school get end of date donations from the local supermarket and have them to take from reception. When food is past it’s sell by date, the school tend to send the gone off food home with random children to get rid of it.
It happened again the week after. Last week, he came home with a bag of fruit. Again, the school gets these donated but they usually use them and don’t send them home with students. Today, he’s come home with some second hand school branded jumpers. I asked him why and he explained that he had put a hole in the arm of his school jumper so the teacher had taken him to the clothes donation station and given him some spares to bring home. I asked him why she’d given him several and he shrugged and then causally mentioned that he’d told the teacher that we have no money so can’t get things from the supermarket anymore 🤦🏼‍♀️ I asked if that’s why we got the fruit and the bread and he shrugged

Im going to have to contact the teacher and explain aren’t I? We aren’t broke and I feel terrible at the thought we are taking food from people who might actually need it. I’ve put the uniforms back in the bag to return tomorrow but I have no idea what to say to the teacher? Can I just email in or should I ask to speak to her directly? I’ve overthought this to a point I don’t even know what I’m going to say to her now

OP posts:
EddieMunson · 30/01/2024 16:34

I think something along the lines of, you’ve told the kids you’re cutting back on little treats from the supermarket to save for a big treat, and he’s got the wrong end of the stick and over exaggerated a bit.

Andthereyougo · 30/01/2024 16:35

I shouldn’t laugh but that’s brilliant.
Just tell it as your son told you and explain that you’re cutting out some stuff to save for a holiday. Honestly, teachers have heard it all ( some of it way tmi)

TeenDivided · 30/01/2024 16:36

Hi teacher.
Toby has been coming home with food/uniform and I think there may have been some miscommunication. He appears to have told you/the school we are struggling to afford the supermarket. In fact we are cutting back on waste and actually saving for a trip to Disney. I am returning the uniform, please can you make sure it goes to a family more in need?
Many thanks

TeaKitten · 30/01/2024 16:36

Just tell them the truth, they no what kids are like and will see the funny side.

DisforDarkChocolate · 30/01/2024 16:37

The teacher will be relieved that they just have one less child to have to give this sort of support to. It certainly won't be the daftest thing they've heard from a child that week, or even day.

Seeleyboo · 30/01/2024 16:38

Why would you put yourself and children through this stress for a trip to Disney. If you can't comfortably afford something so stretch yourself. I can afford luxury holidays but we go to cheap places. Kids remember any holiday with fondness. Also he mindful that you're projecting your state of financial affairs and worry to your children. Hence why he's telling teachers you have no money. He must be very worried.

Singleandproud · 30/01/2024 16:47

Just email the teacher as PP have said above.

Disney Paris in Feb half term I's cheap, french schools aren't on holiday either so it's quieter, we were able to just walk on some rides and the longest we queued was 20 mins, just stock up on ski/waterproof clothing from somewhere cheap like Trespass. There is less daylight which isn't a bad thing really as the fireworks are earlier so you can get back to the accommodation earlier to rest up when the children are tired.

In terms of teaching your DS about money, I used to tell DD that there was bill + food money and fun money. We always have bill money but fun money you save up for extra treats Which is what it sounds like you tried to explain but DS got the wrong end of the stick so maybe more explicit.

CaptainMyCaptain · 30/01/2024 16:50

EddieMunson · 30/01/2024 16:34

I think something along the lines of, you’ve told the kids you’re cutting back on little treats from the supermarket to save for a big treat, and he’s got the wrong end of the stick and over exaggerated a bit.

This. The teacher will be amused he's taken your words on board and some.

Sunsetboardwalk · 30/01/2024 16:55

You have to say something! Otherwise they keep giving you stuff, and one day ds goes into school and mentions his holiday to Disney...

itsnearlyfebruary · 30/01/2024 17:01

Singleandproud · 30/01/2024 16:47

Just email the teacher as PP have said above.

Disney Paris in Feb half term I's cheap, french schools aren't on holiday either so it's quieter, we were able to just walk on some rides and the longest we queued was 20 mins, just stock up on ski/waterproof clothing from somewhere cheap like Trespass. There is less daylight which isn't a bad thing really as the fireworks are earlier so you can get back to the accommodation earlier to rest up when the children are tired.

In terms of teaching your DS about money, I used to tell DD that there was bill + food money and fun money. We always have bill money but fun money you save up for extra treats Which is what it sounds like you tried to explain but DS got the wrong end of the stick so maybe more explicit.

Edited

I think OPs already booked but just in case anyone else reads this, French schools do have a 2 week half term in Feb but they're staggered. Different zones get different weeks and this year Paris schools half term is the same as UK half term.

Newsenmum · 30/01/2024 17:09

I’m sorry but this also made me laugh! Just be honest, as awful as it is.

KreedKafer · 30/01/2024 17:10

This has really made me laugh. Yes, tell his teacher pretty much exactly what you've told us, and offer to return the jumpers for a family who need them. My guess is that your son's teacher will find this very funny - they know what kids are like and how things get lost in translation!

When I was little we had to write something about a relative we loved and I wrote something like "I love my grandad because he is funny and when I see him he gives me money he takes from the till at his work". My mum had to explain to my teacher that my grandad was not in fact stealing from his employer, but in fact had his own little repair shop and if he had a few coppers over at the end of the week that he couldn't be bothered to bank, he bagged them up for me to put in my piggy bank.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 30/01/2024 17:12

Oh, that's sweet of him.

Yes, do let them know and you can reassure him that it's just to pay for your holiday.

WallaceinAnderland · 30/01/2024 17:14

School send out of date food home for kids to eat? I'm not sure they are allowed to do that. I know shops and restaurants have to dispose of it, they're not allowed to give it away.

KreedKafer · 30/01/2024 17:14

Seeleyboo · 30/01/2024 16:38

Why would you put yourself and children through this stress for a trip to Disney. If you can't comfortably afford something so stretch yourself. I can afford luxury holidays but we go to cheap places. Kids remember any holiday with fondness. Also he mindful that you're projecting your state of financial affairs and worry to your children. Hence why he's telling teachers you have no money. He must be very worried.

I think you're really over-thinking this. The OP has just said she's cut back on things she was previously wasting money on. She hasn't said she's stressed and her son has literally just casually said something to the teacher without properly explaining it to her. This sort of thing happens all the time. He's just badly mistranslated it to his teacher, that's all!

BobbyBiscuits · 30/01/2024 17:19

I would not agree to take my kids to Disney tbh. It's just consumerist trash so saving on waste for Disney makes little sense to me.
But I guess if that's what they want. I'm sure the teachers will see the funny side if you just tell them he's basically on a wind up!

twoshedsjackson · 30/01/2024 17:56

One of my little treasures once took himself up to the school office and asked about applying for free school meals.
The school secretary contacted Mum to make discreet enquiries, to Mum's indignation that anyone should think the family was that hard up.
Refer back to pupil in question. He had decided off his own bat that. as some of his mates had free school meals, he might as well have them as well. Year 3.

WaterHound · 30/01/2024 17:59

WallaceinAnderland · 30/01/2024 17:14

School send out of date food home for kids to eat? I'm not sure they are allowed to do that. I know shops and restaurants have to dispose of it, they're not allowed to give it away.

Yes this strikes me as rather...odd (many years teaching).

WaterHound · 30/01/2024 18:00

Last month, son comes home from school with a loaf of bread. Not completely unusual, the school get end of date donations from the local supermarket and have them to take from reception. When food is past it’s sell by date, the school tend to send the gone off food home with random children to get rid of it

Very odd in fact.

Tiredalwaystired · 30/01/2024 18:04

I had similar - told my oldest she couldnt do guide camp in the spring cos we had already forked out on an expensive school holiday for her and she had done a camp too earlier in the year. That felt like plenty!

Got an email about a hardship fund as my daughter told the guide leader she wasn’t going as we couldnt afford it!

Had to have the conversation with daughter about when enough is enough and also send an apologetic email to guide leader!

StopTheBusINeedAWeeWeeAWeeWeeBagOChips · 30/01/2024 18:05

🤣🤣 my dd did similar, there was a school disco on but she had a prior commitment at one of her clubs.

They often have donations for disco tickets and my dd got a donated one, lord knows what she actually said.

I messaged and said "Thank you so much for the ticket, however dd doesn't have one due to a prior commitment, not due to financial issues. Thank you so much and sorry for any miscommunication"

The teacher thought it was hilarious.

Original poster
ScaringMajor · 30/01/2024 18:27

Thanks for the replies, pleased it’s not just me! I’ll speak to the teacher tomorrow and try to explain. I’ll also try and explain it to my son again. I’m very careful to not discuss any financial issues with my kids, but I do want them to be aware of the value of money and that some things aren’t cheap

Those saying we shouldn’t go to Disney- it’s what they want, why shouldn’t they get to go? I’m not bankrupting myself to pay for it, we are having less take outs and I’m not buying anymore football stickers etc

About the food, I’d never really thought about it before! Basically the shop donates food like bread/baked goods/fruit that only has a few days on the best before date and the school has it for anyone to take in the entrance hall. When the food is on its sell by date, they send it home randomly. Often kids on the bus get given it because their parents aren’t there to refuse it. Especially if the food is due to go off over the weekend. I think most of the food is taken before it gets to that date?

OP posts:
Notsuchacleverclogs · 30/01/2024 18:49

Oh OP 🤣 My parents took us to Disney in Florida when i was 10. It was our only holiday abroad ever as kids (usually we went to the seaside and stayed in a caravan). DM told us that it meant there would need to be an economy drive as it was very expensive and apparently was absolutely mortified when i told all the supermarket cashiers this! 🙈😂 So im sure the teachers will also find it funny.

Singleandproud · 30/01/2024 19:08

My DD told her class an in-depth story of the hot air balloon ride she had been on at the weekend, the teacher pulled me aside afterwards to as about it - DD did go on a hot air balloon however it was a hot air balloon themed little childrens Ferris wheel not in fact a huge one floating above the ground as the teacher had been led to believe 🤣

Hooplahooping · 30/01/2024 19:45

Yeesh. You have to let the school know - I suspect an email will suffice though. They’ll probably be a) relieved your children are well provided for and b) quite amused that your son is pleading poverty because he can’t have alllll the snacks as well as going to Disneyland!

reminds me of the time I sat down to chat to my toddler outside the station because he was having some sort of melt down - and a passerby threw money into my empty coffee cup…