I’m going to have to talk to the school aren't I?

[ScaringMajor]

Over Christmas I was discussing booking a holiday this year with my children. They’re both desperate to go to Disney, but I’m a single parent and it’s so crazy expensive! So I spoke to them and explained that I would look into it, but that it’s a very expensive holiday so it would be our only holiday this year, and we would be cutting down on treats like expensive trips out, treats at the supermarket and take out. To be honest, it’s all stuff we waste money on anyway and should be cutting back on it so it seemed like a good idea. all sorted, holiday booked.

Last month, son comes home from school with a loaf of bread. Not completely unusual, the school get end of date donations from the local supermarket and have them to take from reception. When food is past it’s sell by date, the school tend to send the gone off food home with random children to get rid of it.
It happened again the week after. Last week, he came home with a bag of fruit. Again, the school gets these donated but they usually use them and don’t send them home with students. Today, he’s come home with some second hand school branded jumpers. I asked him why and he explained that he had put a hole in the arm of his school jumper so the teacher had taken him to the clothes donation station and given him some spares to bring home. I asked him why she’d given him several and he shrugged and then causally mentioned that he’d told the teacher that we have no money so can’t get things from the supermarket anymore 🤦🏼‍♀️ I asked if that’s why we got the fruit and the bread and he shrugged

Im going to have to contact the teacher and explain aren’t I? We aren’t broke and I feel terrible at the thought we are taking food from people who might actually need it. I’ve put the uniforms back in the bag to return tomorrow but I have no idea what to say to the teacher? Can I just email in or should I ask to speak to her directly? I’ve overthought this to a point I don’t even know what I’m going to say to her now

I’m old now but I can still remember back to being a child when my parents were always saying things like ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’ and refusing to buy things / take me places / let me do things. (I was NOT deprived - they bought me plenty and we did / went out loads!) I genuinely thought for years that we were very close to the breadline, and worried quite a lot about it (even though we lived in a nice house, had a car etc.). It’s very hard for kids to evaluate relative wealth / expenses / value/ costs etc.

What “UK half term”? It varies across the country!

I wouldn’t worry to be honest. Just explain the miscommunication and that you’d rather return the items to someone more in need. X

I’m surprised you could type your comment, considering how high your nose is in the air.

How did you get this from her comments! What she actually said was that a trip to Disney would be expensive so if they want to go then they would need to cut out treat items and put the money towards the big holiday!

1. Normal people do save for big expenses
2. it is not unreasonable to explain this in am age appropriate way with a child

@OneMoreTime23 - apologies- I know Scotland is different.
But in England and Wales they usually have the same week in February although now and again Wales and the odd English county have different weeks. But regardless they all coincide with a French half term as they are spread across most of February so you're never going to miss it if going to DLP...
But maybe OP is going to the USA anyway

@Tigger1895 Haha, I manage. Sorry that I don't like Disney.

I think you need to start thinking about your messaging. Instead of being practical and teaching your children the value of saving towards a goal - all they've heard is "Help! We're Poor. Normal life has stopped. I can't even get junk food from supermarket. But mum has promised us the great dream of Disneyland!". You should feel ashamed of yourself. Put a chart up on your kitchen wall that shows money saved each week and its contribution to goal of Disneyland. I think you have several agendas going on, which is leaving your children confused and upset.

I didn't mean to say you were in the wrong and they won't let me redact it

I’m sorry but this post really made me laugh. Children are just so funny. Just speak to the teachers, nothing to be embarrassed about. Just laugh it off and tell them exactly how it is 😂😂😂 honestly brilliant

Speak to her!
Anything, ANYTHING at all that you might write would offend some xyz, will be misinterpreted, go on file, be quoted, and taken out of context. Be sure to start your conversation all smiles by emphasising what a kind thing it was that she was so considerate, WONDERFUL example to the children etc, and say you're right behind the principle. End it that way too.

Our school leaves bread / loaf/ baguettes outside on a trolley thing so parents can help themselves after drop off.
The richest two parents of the class are always helping themselves to it so I wouldn't worry about it.
I was given a box thing over Xmas (DH thought we'd won the pta hamper) but it was actually boxes they give to pupils in need. I am still so confused how this came about! Plus it was full of stuff I'd never use, so got donated to the food bank.

What a kind teacher x

Oh bless them.

I try to occasionally reign in my daughters from thinking I'm a bottomless pit of money by reminding them that there are limits.

The next thing I hear my daughter is pleasing poverty with her flatmates at uni and she has been allocated the most shite room in their shared house next year. At a £5 a month discount. 🙄

Fgs I said, what good is £5 a month you daft devil. We're not even poor at all. I just want you to be sensible and realise I can't keep dipping into my pocket for every whim. I give her about double the minimum parent contribution because of the cost of living in her university city.

It's humiliating thinking all her posh mates now think we're destitute. 😂

I love that. It says it all, and in a way that does not embarrass you (or shouldn't, kids do that), or blame your son.

OMG - she is budgeting her discretionary spending in a different manner. It's not stress. It teaches children that sometimes they need to give up some things to save for future needs.

This. Poor kid

My kids must have done something like this one year. It was the most mortifying thing ever - the day before Xmas break the school demands I come in to the office at pick up. I do, expecting to be told off about lack of homework or perhaps the dreaded “your daughter was hanging upside down on the monkey bars and appeared to have forgotten to put underwear on so we gave her some from the lost property box”…

instead, I was handed four huge bags of things. I must have loooed confused, so the receptionist beams up at me and says “they’re from the Angel tree, for your kids.” Now granted we were definitely below poverty level at that time, but I had absolutely not put our names down for any Angel tree and how bloody embarrassing to know that the tree had the child’s names and ages on the tags so that whoever donated stuff knew it was us!! I cried when I got home as I was sure I could guess which moms had chosen the items.

rather than offend them by returning it or kicking up a fuss I let the kids keep the clothes and just donated the gifts to the Salvation Army toys for tots. Then the next year we paid it forward and provided Xmas for a family asking for help locally. But it really was an unpleasant experience. I was just lucky my kids school had no bullying so none of the other kids said anything to them.

Hear that, OP? @LlynTegid thinks you shouldn’t have booked Disney. I hope you’re suitably ashamed and will seek their permission beforehand in the future 🙄

Olio and Too Good To Go is the same.
They don't give out of date food only 'best before'
Use by dated items have to be binned that date.

it is quite amusing, however just drop them a call or an email. explain the disneyland your saving for so youve cut back on wasting money on things but you are not without.

That’s good. It’s nice the school tried to help and will continue to support families that need it.

PP are fucking miserable aren't they? Responding to this thread with 'Disney is shit, don't go'
I went to EuroDisney (as it was then) on my honeymoon 30 years ago, it had not long been open and wasn't very popular at the beginning so no crowds and queues. DH and I had a ball. We have taken the DCs a couple of times over the years too, always had an amazing time, it's magical.

We also had a welfare check from social services when dd3 told everyone all she'd got for Christmas was a prit stick! I was mortified! The prit stick was in her sack, along with books, chocolate, games etc and I had originally bought a pack of 3 but she'd needed one so I'd opened it. She did get other 'proper' presents.

I told my teachers that the reason I had two black eyes is because my dad hit me....I happened to leave out that it was with a frisbee that got me straight between the eyes when we were playing at the park and I'm rubbish at catching.

My cousin told the A&E nurse she fell down the stairs because her dad pushed her, she did not. She tripped over the freshly rolled up carpet at the top of the landing when her dad was doing DIY and we'd been told to stay in her room out of the way so we didn't get hurt.

I'm glad your DCs teacher saw the funny side.