Am I missing the funny side of this?

[TealandAbnee]

My mum has form for making a certain comment which I really find toe-curling, degrading and inappropriate.

Last night telling her about a house I might put an offer on, she said "just make sure you don't end up setting up shop on a street corner to pay for it."

She had already made a similar comment earlier in the day on a text message, so when she said it again on the phone, I told her I can't stand her saying that. She said 'it's a joke'.

Is this an old throwaway joke that i just don't get? For reference she is 70.

It stings a little, as when I split from my partner a few years ago, she said "how will you manage?" And I said "I'll get a job" and she said "what will you do, sell yourself?"

It really hurt me when I was trying to be strong despite being at a very low ebb.

I just don't get the comment but I'm willing to accept I may be being overly sensitive if that's the general consensus.

Thanks

Another one who insults people and then claims it's a joke when called out. My FIL was like this. It's an attempt to get away with rude, nasty behavior.

She used to say when I'd finished uni and was job-hunting, "why don't you just get to mcdonalds and be done with it?"

I'd have been very hurt by this. It implies that going to university was a waste of time for you as in spite of having a degree you would end up doing the kind of work any school leaver could get, i.e. working in a fast food place doing relatively unskilled, low-paid work.

I suppose that could come from a position of complete ignorance about what's involved in university study and why that's valuable, both for the student and for their future employers. Also, a feeling that it's hopeless to even try to do well in life, if you are working class or have other obstacles to overcome, because it's all useless. No or low aspirations.

That would explain some of the other comments too, I suppose. When all else fails, there's always the oldest profession to fall back on. I find that tragic and infuriating, not funny, but then I'm fortunate to have had supportive parents and plenty of encouragement and opportunities in life.

It sounds like she has a very crude sense of humour. I say things like that (to certain people and always about myself) but I'd never say it to my daughter. The fact that she keeps making the same crap joke is weird. When she says these things I'd tell her you don't like it and you'd like her to say nice things to you for a change! There are enough arseholes in the world, who make jokes at other people's expense. Mums are the ones who should be our greatest cheerleaders!

Hi @TealandAbnee my mother makes "hilarious" jokes like this too. Would never say anything even vaguely nasty or cruel to my brother but to me......... regularly saying stuff to put me down and presumably make herself feel better.
Ive found that the best way to deal with it is to quietly but firmly say things like "there is no need to be unkind" "thats not a nice thing to say" Or Thumpers infamous line from Bambi
And beyond that ignore ignore ignore (which is really hard I know)
Ignoring her altogether doesnt work as she does carries on until she gets a reaction so Ive found pointing out that its not a nice thing to say and then changing the subject works better.

It isn’t her age it’s the issue, it’s her. This is not prevalent amongst 70 year old women. You can’t be a good, kind lovely person and at the same time say horrible things like that to your daughter.

It's not funny, but I wouldn't take it personally. Just ignore.