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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog Sitter Hacked off Dog’s Eyelashes

86 replies

Elvisthedonkey · 30/01/2024 06:15

The “dog sitter” being my DMiL.

We have a dog with beautiful long eyebrows and eyelashes, which droop down over her face. Quite typical of the breed. DH had asked DMiL if she could look after her for a few days as we had to go away at very short notice. She has a large house and her own dog so we hoped it would not be too much of an imposition.

She took her and seemed fine about it but when we picked her up she had hacked off her lovely long eyebrows and eyelashes. It has not even been neatly done - they are uneven and tufty. “Hacked” really is the word. It looks awful.

Our dog had very obviously been to a dog groomer very recently - so surely she would realise that if we had wanted them cut we would have asked the dog groomer to do it? Or done it ourselves?

I’m weirdly upset about it - we loved her long eyelashes - and I can’t help thinking it was some weird passive aggressive move (she doesn’t like me and has form). I’m not sure if I should say something or if that would just make me sound ungrateful. I’m sure if I asked her she should would say she did it because they were getting in the dog’s way or something (they weren’t) and she was trying to neaten them up.

AIBU? Should I say something?

OP posts:
RowanMayfair · 30/01/2024 06:18

Your husband should say something. And don't leave the dog with her again! How weird of her

Hoglet70 · 30/01/2024 06:18

Unless the dog was irritated by the extra fur then YANBU. It's not her dog.

fairo · 30/01/2024 06:19

She was probably trying to help. But yeah don't let her near your dog again.

cryinglaughing · 30/01/2024 06:20

Someone did this to my horse when I went away for the weekend.
Having found out it was the yard owner, I moved yards.

Don't let her look after him again and yes, I would be asking what possessed her!

WonderingWanda · 30/01/2024 06:26

I think my first words would be 'What happened to the dogs eyelashes?' Followed by please don't do that again, it looks dreadful.

Original poster
Elvisthedonkey · 30/01/2024 06:29

@Hoglet70 No, the dog is in no way irritated by her long eyelashes. They droop sort of out and down well below her eyes, so they don’t rub her eyes or anything like that.

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 30/01/2024 06:31

Your MIL is a CF. I’d be beyond livid at this. Don’t let her near your dog again. And get your DH to have a firm word!

StanSaid · 30/01/2024 06:33

I would have gone mad and demanded to know exactly what she thought she was playing at as soon as I'd seen them.
She has no right to do anything to your dog unless it's an emergency!
No, my anger would have verbally taken her head off.

GoodOldEmmaNess · 30/01/2024 07:19

How strange to call her a dog sitter in your thread title. It sounds like you are trying to minimise the reasonableness of her feeling any concern about the dog that would justify her too-hasty intervention.

I would have thought she felt concerned for the dog's welfare. I can remember a vet once telling me it would be kinder to my dog if I were to trim the hairs over his eyes (which of course I then did). I don't know how correct that is, but it is certainly a very reasonable concern.

Of course your MIL shouldn't have gone ahead and done it without talking to you, but I don't think it is as unreasonable as you feel it to be.

Changingplace · 30/01/2024 07:22

How odd of her, and how strange you also didn’t just say ‘oh what happened to the dogs eyelashes’ when you collected her.

Original poster
Elvisthedonkey · 30/01/2024 07:26

@GoodOldEmmaNess I think I did that as I am slightly paranoid she might read AIBU!

The eyelashes actually help keep her long fur out of her eyes - as I said above, they grow out and down over her eyes - sort of making a protective shield over them. They go nowhere near her actual eyeballs. I don’t see how anyone could think they needed cutting.

OP posts:
Original poster
Elvisthedonkey · 30/01/2024 07:27

@Changingplace I wasn’t there when DH picked her up. And DH didn’t notice at first.

OP posts:
Cazpar · 30/01/2024 07:29

GoodOldEmmaNess · 30/01/2024 07:19

How strange to call her a dog sitter in your thread title. It sounds like you are trying to minimise the reasonableness of her feeling any concern about the dog that would justify her too-hasty intervention.

I would have thought she felt concerned for the dog's welfare. I can remember a vet once telling me it would be kinder to my dog if I were to trim the hairs over his eyes (which of course I then did). I don't know how correct that is, but it is certainly a very reasonable concern.

Of course your MIL shouldn't have gone ahead and done it without talking to you, but I don't think it is as unreasonable as you feel it to be.

This.

She probably did it because she thought the dogs vision was impaired (I do think it's cruel to breed dogs who are designed to have a curtain of hair over their eyes) and presumably you like and trust her enough to have the dog in the first place. Why go mad over a temporary issue - the fur will grow back.

PinkflowersWhiteBerries · 30/01/2024 07:32

Spaniel? The cockers I meet typically have beautiful eyelashes and a tufts crown. I think the eyelashes help protect their eyes when they are flushing birds from undergrowth.
Just have yourDH explain that it’s a natural feature and trimming is best left to the professionals. We will assume she meant well.

AndThatWasNY · 30/01/2024 07:33

She shouldn't have done it. But it sounds horrible for your dog to have fur hanging over their eyes. Just because a breed is like this doesn't mean it's a nice experience for the dog.

Zanatdy · 30/01/2024 07:34

My friends dogs eyelashes are super long and it looks really painful when it rains heavily. But your MIL had no right to do that

DonnaBanana · 30/01/2024 07:35

If your dog is over a certain value you could have her for criminal damage! Very cheeky

PaulCostinRIP · 30/01/2024 07:37

If she had concerns that the dog couldn't see then at least she could have taken the dog to a professional groomer.

It's the fact she cut them and didn't even mention her concerns about the fur possibly impeding the dogs eyesight.

I don't understand why something wasn't immediately said.

Errolwasahero · 30/01/2024 07:37

With Dogs of this type their eyelashes and hair over their eyes protect them. Like curly/shaggy fur giving them a natural temperature control. Unless the eyes are weepy and infected there is no reason to trim them.

Original poster
Elvisthedonkey · 30/01/2024 07:38

@Cazpar Her eyelashes are (were) long but not thick or curtain-like - in NO WAY do they obstruct my dog’s vision or get in her way. She’s a spaniel.

OP posts:
Original poster
Elvisthedonkey · 30/01/2024 07:40

@PinkflowersWhiteBerries Yes exactly - she’s a spaniel.

OP posts:
MorningSunshineSparkles · 30/01/2024 07:46

I didn’t read updates - sorry!

Epidote · 30/01/2024 07:50

You or your husband need to ask your MIL what happened.
The hair will grow.
It could be just a bad grooming or be more into it.
Don't let the dog in her care she may do it on purpose so she can get rid of the dog. It is an old strategy used by a lot of people, I'll say yes to something, I'll do it wrong, so they don't ask again. Not necessarily has to be about you.

Wheresthebeach · 30/01/2024 07:51

DH needs to ask what happened and tell her not to do it again. Then forget about it and don’t assume it was a dig.

talksettings1 · 30/01/2024 07:53

GoodOldEmmaNess · 30/01/2024 07:19

How strange to call her a dog sitter in your thread title. It sounds like you are trying to minimise the reasonableness of her feeling any concern about the dog that would justify her too-hasty intervention.

I would have thought she felt concerned for the dog's welfare. I can remember a vet once telling me it would be kinder to my dog if I were to trim the hairs over his eyes (which of course I then did). I don't know how correct that is, but it is certainly a very reasonable concern.

Of course your MIL shouldn't have gone ahead and done it without talking to you, but I don't think it is as unreasonable as you feel it to be.

She was a dog sitter because she was dog sitting. Talk about splitting hairs (or eyelashes...).