Dog Sitter Hacked off Dog’s Eyelashes

[Elvisthedonkey]

The “dog sitter” being my DMiL.

We have a dog with beautiful long eyebrows and eyelashes, which droop down over her face. Quite typical of the breed. DH had asked DMiL if she could look after her for a few days as we had to go away at very short notice. She has a large house and her own dog so we hoped it would not be too much of an imposition.

She took her and seemed fine about it but when we picked her up she had hacked off her lovely long eyebrows and eyelashes. It has not even been neatly done - they are uneven and tufty. “Hacked” really is the word. It looks awful.

Our dog had very obviously been to a dog groomer very recently - so surely she would realise that if we had wanted them cut we would have asked the dog groomer to do it? Or done it ourselves?

I’m weirdly upset about it - we loved her long eyelashes - and I can’t help thinking it was some weird passive aggressive move (she doesn’t like me and has form). I’m not sure if I should say something or if that would just make me sound ungrateful. I’m sure if I asked her she should would say she did it because they were getting in the dog’s way or something (they weren’t) and she was trying to neaten them up.

AIBU? Should I say something?

I’d also be mentioning that when they start growing out they might get to a length that does irritate her eyes!!!!

I would be absolutely fuming if anyone did something like this to my pet OP, that’s her protection from bits getting in her eyes and also I’d be concerned that someone who isn’t a professional had scissors near her eyes.

Absolutely do not mention it. People like this thrive on a reaction. Don't give her one and don't leave your dog with her again.

Those bushy overhangs protect your dog's eyes - not only when dashing around in the undergrowth, but they also serve as sunglasses and typically having them chopped off exposes the eyes to more light than they are used to. So YANBU, it was very strange to take a pair of scissors to them.

Hair hanging over the eyes must be so annoying for any animal
No natural animal has hair obscuring their vision- it's a selectively bred thing.

At first I thought you meant vibrissae as in ''eyebrows'' which really ought to be left well alone..

Dogs have a 'Halo' of vibrissae around their faces that are super sensitive including ''eyebrows''

Horses and cats have them too - to cut off them is bad.

That is rubbish. If you are thinking about the dogs welfare rather insta it's far kinder to cut brows so they can see properly. Many vets would agree. Groomers in some places are more focused on looks rather than practicalities so aren't best placed to make the judgement.

I'd also be very concerned that she went so close to his eyes with, presumably, scissors.
If he'd jumped or squirmed or wriggled, all of which you would expect him to, she could have damaged his actual eyes. That she even attempted such a thing shows a massive lack of judgement and care IMHO. If she thought the fur/lashes were in some way distressing him or impairing his vision she should simply have asked you if you'd considered getting them cut, and you could have explained to her. That she went near his eyes with scissors is frankly horrifying.

Why is everyone discussing the benefits or disadvantages of the fur and eyebrows? It's totally irrelevant.

Nobody has the right to randomly groom and cut the fur of someone else's dog no matter what they think about it.

Sounds like she punished your dog for you needing dog sitting at short notice. You need another friend with a dog so you can trade emergency minding and have doggy play dates.

Do you have photos of before? Or stock photos of the breed with this.

Struggling to picture it!

I’m sure your MIL was just being practical and thinking she was helping but totally understand why you’re not happy about it. I would tactfully and gently explain that the eyelashes are meant to be kept long.
on another note, I definitely wouldn’t rub her up the wrong way. It’s a lot of responsibility looking after someone else’s pet, especially at late notice

Yabvu for not providing before and after pics

Here’s a photo of a similar dog to ours so you can see what I mean, and see that in no way do the eyelashes obstruct their vision or irritate them or anything.

Take her back to the groomers and ask them to tidy it up its going to be hellish for the dog growing it out uneven

And she shouldn't have cut your dogs fur she sounds like the type to give a grandchild a hair cut without asking the parents

That looks maddening to have stringy hair getting in the way of the eyes ..I can see now why she clipped those long bits off.

I’d just ask “What happened to ElvisDog’s eyelashes?”

It’s a perfectly reasonable question and for all you know, there may be a reasonable answer. I can’t imagine what it might be, but I think I’d be giving the benefit of the doubt for at least long enough to ask.

I would also then assess from the response whether asking her to dog-sit again was feasible.

They will grow back, so she’s not done any permanent damage, at least.

Not necessarily. When I first adopted my dog from a shelter she had terrible weepy, irritated eyes. Then over time as her shorn fur grew in, lovely long eyebrows emerged and her eye problems completely cleared up. 🤷🏼‍♀️

We've had lots of dogs from rescue and they inevitably have infections/fleas/worms etc. Highly likely that lack of care/high rates of bacteria/stress has lead to this. They need some eyebrows to protect the eyes but not long dangly ones.

I know you didn't know about it immediately but why on earth haven't you asked her why she did it ? It's not a normal thing to do .

When she'd just done you. a massive favour in looking after your dog at short notice? And would you really get that angry without at least asking why she did it? The chances are, after all, that she thought she was helping the dog.

Don’t mention it, she’s hoping to cause a row. Act as if you’ve not noticed. Even comment if you see her how lovely the dog is looking.

Do not leave things you value with people who don’t like you.

I would ask. It's possible that something sticky got caught in them and had to be cut out. But it's not something I would have done without either checking with you or explaining.

I would hate to think that she did it purely to be nasty-especially as she has a dog of her own.

If there was a reason though you'd think that she would have said.

Was she your first port of call rather than kennels/a dog sitter?

She might have a big house but she still had two dogs to walk 2/3 times a day!

I think it was a big ask but then she could have said no-unless she thought that there was no one else?

Still doesn't explain why she did it though-someone just needs to ask!

You know your MIL better than randoms on here. Would it be done out of malice or misplaced helpfulness? You act based on that. Either way, if you're this angry you should pay for kennels or a sitter the next time.

I'm not understanding the lack of communication.

Did the dog get the bus home by itself and you noticed the fur had been cut or was the dog collected by you, your husband or both and despite the obvious fur cut, neither of you said anything?

That's more bizarre than the cutting of the fur .

For those asking why I haven’t said anything yet, she is not really a reasonable person. She is very defensive and gets very angry if anyone tells her she should/shouldn’t do something, no matter how nicely it’s said. So asking would likely cause a bad reaction.