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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there should be some sort of penalty for people who pull out of buying a house for crappy reasons?

109 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 30/01/2024 00:38

DH and I live in a tiny (c. 700 sq ft) 2 bedroom flat. With our three DC- 4, 2 and 3 months. We first put the flat on the market early last summer, got a “cash buyer” pretty quickly and had an offer accepted on a house that was completely perfect for us. However, our buyer turned out to be more full of shit than a Glastonbury long drop and it all fell apart before we’d even got a memorandum of sale.

Meanwhile, prices continue to plummet, we end up taking £25k off our asking price. Eventually accepted an offer from a lovely elderly lady who came to view the place with her son, daughter and son in law. She was downsizing from a 2 up 2 down and didn’t have a buyer yet but we accepted the offer as by this point I was very heavily pregnant, and we didn’t want the hassle of viewings etc whilst trying to prepare for a baby/deal with a newborn. Plus we liked her and the flat is perfect for her- a good size, its own little patio, quiet neighbourhood, bus stop outside with a route to town centre and supermarket.

She eventually finds a buyer, we get a memo of sale and start looking. Found a place recently, made an offer, it’s accepted and we get the ball rolling. Hoping for a quick transaction as we’re desperate to get out of the home that’s way too small for us, and our vendors are in a hurry as they’re moving for a job promotion/relocation that’s in danger of being withdrawn if they can’t move.

Until today. Buyer asked to come and see the flat again last week, no real reason given, just to have another look. My spidey senses start tingling but DH said we had no real reason not to let her so we go through all the faff of getting it looking like it isn’t lived in by a family with a 4 and 2 year old and a newborn (this mostly involves using our cars for storage). It turns out this time she’s brought her other daughter with her who wasn’t here at the first viewing- and this daughter, according to the EA, spent the entire time being rude, slagging the place off, and said if her mum wanted to buy it they might as well put her in a home (EA later spoke to buyer’s son who said that sounded fairly typical of her). Apparently buyer was saying she liked it, she wanted to buy it, and she’d given us our word and wasn’t going to pull out for no reason.

Except today, that’s exactly what she’s done. She’s pulled out of buying our place and also of selling her own. By the sounds of it her daughter has spent the whole weekend working on her, saying she should just have her house adapted instead etc etc. The EA obviously did his best (buyer’s house was listed with them too so he’s lost two sales in one go) but it’s dead in the water, just like that. I cried, my DH cried, our vendors too were apparently devastated when the news reached them and our buyer’s buyer was also said to be mightily pissed off.

I just feel so angry, and sad, and worried. We need to get out of this flat. Our DC need to be able get more than a few feet away from each other - they fight and scream constantly and my and DH’s nerves are in shreds. And basically thanks to one stroppy bitch who clearly had more than half an eye on her inheritance, the plans of 3 families including at least 5 children have gone to crap, not to mention three months and thousands of pounds already wasted in the process. But our buyer just walks away scot free.

OP posts:
Alwaysbeyou · 31/01/2024 05:31

In my experience the Scottish system is also failing atm.
NeedToChangeName
In the past 6 months we have had three properties fall through as vendors lost out in the bidding war for onward purchases.
It's bloody ridiculous.

NoOrdinaryMorning · 31/01/2024 10:16

I swear some people just come on here to rub salt into people's wounds

user1471538283 · 31/01/2024 10:32

It's so stressful. I'm convinced some make offers when they don't even have the money just for something to do.

When I was selling my favourite house my buyer sat around doing nothing for weeks. When the EA finally got hold of him he said his financial position has changed. I'm sure he didn't have the money to start with.

This was another sliding doors moment. I should have pulled out of buying the house from hell then.

When I next sold I made sure I only accepted viewings from proceedable buyers.

I loved into rented so I was in a good position to move again but the vendors were so slow it still took months.

MumHereAgain2023 · 31/01/2024 10:38

I was a buyer who pulled out of a sale when I discovered my partner was having an affair.

Luxell934 · 31/01/2024 10:42

AngeloMysterioso · 30/01/2024 19:47

A small, ground floor flat in a quiet safe neighbourhood, with its own private patio, three single women as neighbours, a bus stop right outside with a service into town and supermarket and a gorgeous park over the road, is less suited to the needs of an 80 something woman looking to downsize than a 2 up 2 down terrace on a main road next to a secondary school and a pub?! Nope, I don’t think so.

You obviously seem to know more about this woman’s wants and needs than she even knows about herself 😂

AngeloMysterioso · 31/01/2024 10:51

Luxell934 · 31/01/2024 10:42

You obviously seem to know more about this woman’s wants and needs than she even knows about herself 😂

They were all reasons she gave for wanting to move/buy our flat in the first place.

OP posts:
EssexMan55 · 31/01/2024 14:57

TomeTome · 30/01/2024 12:53

Do you? @AngeloMysterioso is selling so she and her buyer can put any constraints they like. Id stop viewings if buyers were prompt, but no way on earth would I sit waiting for a buyer to huff and puff before they put down a deposit.

Of course they can. But as I said, I wouldn't be buying from someone who won't take it off the market. Its obvious they plan to mess you around if that's not the case.

Hana89 · 01/02/2024 08:20

I agree with you, OP. I think whoever pulls out should have to reasonably compensate the other party for expenses paid. When my ex and I split, we accepted an offer from a lovely couple, but they took so long to get their mortgage approved that my ex's follow on purchase fell through and he decided he wanted to stay in our house and buy me out instead. We pulled out of the sale but we compensated the couple for their survey because it felt like the right thing to do. That might not be a popular opinion, but I stand by it. If you are the seller and you pull out, you should compensate. And if you are the buyer and you pull out, similar rules should apply. Sometimes situations change and people need to utilise the law that is on their side, but it does feel too easy to take advantage when there is no cost at all.

I also wish that exchange of contracts and legal obligation happened early in the process. In that situation it would have secured the nice couples purchase of our house and my ex's follow on, and a horrible situation would have been avoided.

stichguru · 07/05/2024 22:49

You are horribly judgmental. It's fine that she's pulled out. Get over it.

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