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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there should be some sort of penalty for people who pull out of buying a house for crappy reasons?

109 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 30/01/2024 00:38

DH and I live in a tiny (c. 700 sq ft) 2 bedroom flat. With our three DC- 4, 2 and 3 months. We first put the flat on the market early last summer, got a “cash buyer” pretty quickly and had an offer accepted on a house that was completely perfect for us. However, our buyer turned out to be more full of shit than a Glastonbury long drop and it all fell apart before we’d even got a memorandum of sale.

Meanwhile, prices continue to plummet, we end up taking £25k off our asking price. Eventually accepted an offer from a lovely elderly lady who came to view the place with her son, daughter and son in law. She was downsizing from a 2 up 2 down and didn’t have a buyer yet but we accepted the offer as by this point I was very heavily pregnant, and we didn’t want the hassle of viewings etc whilst trying to prepare for a baby/deal with a newborn. Plus we liked her and the flat is perfect for her- a good size, its own little patio, quiet neighbourhood, bus stop outside with a route to town centre and supermarket.

She eventually finds a buyer, we get a memo of sale and start looking. Found a place recently, made an offer, it’s accepted and we get the ball rolling. Hoping for a quick transaction as we’re desperate to get out of the home that’s way too small for us, and our vendors are in a hurry as they’re moving for a job promotion/relocation that’s in danger of being withdrawn if they can’t move.

Until today. Buyer asked to come and see the flat again last week, no real reason given, just to have another look. My spidey senses start tingling but DH said we had no real reason not to let her so we go through all the faff of getting it looking like it isn’t lived in by a family with a 4 and 2 year old and a newborn (this mostly involves using our cars for storage). It turns out this time she’s brought her other daughter with her who wasn’t here at the first viewing- and this daughter, according to the EA, spent the entire time being rude, slagging the place off, and said if her mum wanted to buy it they might as well put her in a home (EA later spoke to buyer’s son who said that sounded fairly typical of her). Apparently buyer was saying she liked it, she wanted to buy it, and she’d given us our word and wasn’t going to pull out for no reason.

Except today, that’s exactly what she’s done. She’s pulled out of buying our place and also of selling her own. By the sounds of it her daughter has spent the whole weekend working on her, saying she should just have her house adapted instead etc etc. The EA obviously did his best (buyer’s house was listed with them too so he’s lost two sales in one go) but it’s dead in the water, just like that. I cried, my DH cried, our vendors too were apparently devastated when the news reached them and our buyer’s buyer was also said to be mightily pissed off.

I just feel so angry, and sad, and worried. We need to get out of this flat. Our DC need to be able get more than a few feet away from each other - they fight and scream constantly and my and DH’s nerves are in shreds. And basically thanks to one stroppy bitch who clearly had more than half an eye on her inheritance, the plans of 3 families including at least 5 children have gone to crap, not to mention three months and thousands of pounds already wasted in the process. But our buyer just walks away scot free.

OP posts:
bigtreesonasunday · 30/01/2024 08:23

That is crap for you but it will happen and you will find another house and some decent buyers and sellers.

It happened to us twice. On the second time the person we were buying from pulled out last second because they had 25 offers as everyone was so desperate to move due to Covid just ending and things opening back up. They wanted another 50k and the house was overpriced to begin with so we said no. we still sold our home and found a lovely landlord who was happy to do a 3 months rental agreement at a time. Then literally within that 3 months we found a home we loved which was bigger and a similar price to what we wanted to pay and because we had already sold ours we were treated like first time buyers and the seller snapped us up and we were in our current home at the 3 month mark. So grateful the seller pulled out now because the house we are now in is so much better and bigger. So please do not lose hope

Londonrach1 · 30/01/2024 08:29

Sounds like the daughter had a valid reason for the mum. Maybe they altering the house so it works better for her mum but means she gets to stay in her home.

Hope you sell again soon.

Advice400 · 30/01/2024 08:32

It's such a pity when people just "change their mind". We pulled out once as advised by our solicitor - something to do with permissions. We also had a chain break down on us as one house in the chain was an unusual construction and the young couple couldn't mortgage it. My DD is on the cusp of buying but some missing consents and proof of adequately completed structural work might jeopardise it - she hopes not - her heart it set on it.

Time is needed for these important things to be established on eye-watering prices, but that does leave room for wibbly wobbly people pulling out "just because".

Menomeno · 30/01/2024 08:32

We were selling a lovely house in a really quiet Close a few years ago. Right before exchange the buyer pulled out with the reason that ‘Planning permission has just been given locally for a drive-thru McDonalds’. 🤦🏻‍♀️ It was half a mile away, and wouldn’t have affected him a jot, given that there would be no passing traffic as it was a bloody cul-de-sac. I don’t know his real reason but I’ll bet my life that wasn’t it!

Advice400 · 30/01/2024 08:38

Unless he didn't read the report properly.

My DDs search report was excellent and really interesting but it was very long and took me some time to take it all in. Some things were up to 5k away!

She jumped when she saw a big red dot for planning on the house on the other side of the fence at the end of her garden. But reading properly it was a few years ago....I got her to look on her photos....its already been done!

Surveys and search reports can read as quite scary if you don't see them.often

Tryingmybestadhd · 30/01/2024 08:45

In other countries you leave a deposit on home you make an offer and if you pull out it’s non refundable. Makes perfect sense

shockeditellyou · 30/01/2024 08:48

The UK house buying system is okay if you know the score - no-one is committed until exchange. The whole point about the stuff leading up to exchange is due dilligence - to make sure you know what you're buying. Until exchange you haven't sold or bought anything, nor is anything or anyone committed. You've just found someone who might be interested in buying your house.

The process could be simplified by making the sellers provide a pack that contains all the searches etc.

Timetodownsize · 30/01/2024 09:03

Please note there is no UK or British system of house buying as the legal system and the house purchasing system in Scotland is separate and quite different. I don't know how things work in Wales or NI.

randomusernam · 30/01/2024 09:05

I agree, I think once you get to the point of spending money the person pulling out should be liable for your costs. I had friends who got to the point of having survey's done after having their offer accepted. The person ended up taking the house off the market. When they spoke to the estate agent they were told she has done this multiple times over the last few years and wastes everyone's time.

Rosscameasdoody · 30/01/2024 09:14

She’s not exactly walking away ‘Scot free’ though is she ? I assume both she and her daughter know that she’s now committed to losing any deposit on your flat and to paying any solicitors fees involved so far. Depending on the EA’s terms and conditions she could also find herself liable for their fees for her own house sale because they’ve introduced her to a buyer prepared to pay an agreed price and able to proceed. Unfortunately these experiences are all part and parcel of the process and I feel for you because I’ve been through similar and it can be horribly disappointing. We should adopt a similar system to Scotland - once an offer is made and accepted it’s a binding contract.

MindHowYouGoes · 30/01/2024 09:15

randomusernam · 30/01/2024 09:05

I agree, I think once you get to the point of spending money the person pulling out should be liable for your costs. I had friends who got to the point of having survey's done after having their offer accepted. The person ended up taking the house off the market. When they spoke to the estate agent they were told she has done this multiple times over the last few years and wastes everyone's time.

The estate agents were the ones wasting everyone’s time too - they took the house on knowing the seller had pulled this stunt several times

Rosscameasdoody · 30/01/2024 09:18

MindHowYouGoes · 30/01/2024 09:15

The estate agents were the ones wasting everyone’s time too - they took the house on knowing the seller had pulled this stunt several times

This was my first thought too. I would have thought it a valid reason for the EA to refuse to deal with them.

NeedToChangeName · 30/01/2024 09:21

shockeditellyou · 30/01/2024 08:48

The UK house buying system is okay if you know the score - no-one is committed until exchange. The whole point about the stuff leading up to exchange is due dilligence - to make sure you know what you're buying. Until exchange you haven't sold or bought anything, nor is anything or anyone committed. You've just found someone who might be interested in buying your house.

The process could be simplified by making the sellers provide a pack that contains all the searches etc.

@shockeditellyou different in Scotland....

Musicaltheatremum · 30/01/2024 09:25

Rosscameasdoody · 30/01/2024 09:14

She’s not exactly walking away ‘Scot free’ though is she ? I assume both she and her daughter know that she’s now committed to losing any deposit on your flat and to paying any solicitors fees involved so far. Depending on the EA’s terms and conditions she could also find herself liable for their fees for her own house sale because they’ve introduced her to a buyer prepared to pay an agreed price and able to proceed. Unfortunately these experiences are all part and parcel of the process and I feel for you because I’ve been through similar and it can be horribly disappointing. We should adopt a similar system to Scotland - once an offer is made and accepted it’s a binding contract.

It's not actually legally binding until missives are signed although it is really frowned upon and a solicitor probably may not continue to act for you if you do pull out.My late husband was a lawyer and would not let me get excited about buying a house until the Missives were signed! Missives are taking longer these days. Took 2 months for my husband when selling his house. My daughter's only took 3 weeks in 2021. In 1994 when we bought our house it took 10 days!!

Elisj · 30/01/2024 09:27

I’m so sorry. I’ve had two purchases fall through because of shitty buyers and it’s appalling. One buyer strung me along for 3 months then ‘changed her mind about
moving’ just before exchange, causing me to lose many thousands of pounds and my onward purchase and my child’s only chance of going to primary school with his preschool friends. That ‘buyer’ is a LibDem politician now and talks about integrity a lot. Makes me absolutely seethe when I see her campaign leaflets.

Saschka · 30/01/2024 09:28

StanSaid · 30/01/2024 07:13

It's not just the buyers who do this, but the seller too.
My son put an offer in on a house which was accepted. He had the survey and checks done which cost him a fortune, then right at the last minute, the seller pulled out and took the house off the market, leaving him unable to look for another property for a while because all the money had been spent on that.
Some people are twats.

Yep that happened to us. 16:30 the day before exchange. We could have killed the sodding vendor.

Rosesanddaisies1 · 30/01/2024 09:29

You can’t really blame those people - it’s the system that’s the problem for allowing this to happen, and that needs to change. Your choice to have those kids.

Give0fecks · 30/01/2024 09:31

Agree but also sellers should have more consequences for arsing everyone around. We have been trying to upsize for the last 3-4 years and actually had more grief off multiple different vendors than buyers! People messing around pulling their house on/ off the market, I even had one vendor string us along for nearly 2 years before he was “ready” to try and find somewhere, wouldn’t answer the standard enquiries, etc

another vendor we got really far through conveyancing before their solicitor realised they didn’t actually own the land they were passing off as their garden. 🤬

VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji · 30/01/2024 09:31

I had to pull out once because if I moved I’d have to go to the back of the waiting list queue on treatment.
if the vendor hadn’t taken so long we’d have been in and id be on that waiting list.

I did feel shitty and the estate agent was an absolute cunt who made it all worse.

Sommerled · 30/01/2024 09:34

Agree the English system needs changed - this would not be legally allowed in Scotland.

Why doesn't England change to the precedent of Scots Law in this respect (and many others)?

543BeachTreasuresHistory · 30/01/2024 09:41

Have you looked at selling via a property auction ?
You set a minimum price

Jeevesnotwooster · 30/01/2024 09:45

We had 3 sales fall though when selling my Dad's place in 2022. And that was in a popular area. Only one had a valid reason (survey showed up issues which we had to fix). It was a nightmare. I'm familiar with the industry too so I'd been careful with the process. Ended up selling to someone without a chain.

So if I were you I would rent and then sell if at all possible. And only sale to someone with no chain.

SchoolQuestionnaire · 30/01/2024 09:54

I can completely understand your frustration and disappointment at this late stage but unfortunately that’s the system. Ir may not be the best system but everyone involved should understand that nothing is guaranteed until contracts are signed.

Going forward I wouldn’t even consider accepting an offer until the buyer is ready and able to proceed. I’d also try and keep in mind that potential buyers are not your friends. Whether you like them or not is irrelevant and shouldn’t play any part in the decision making process.

We had a lovely chap come and view dm’s home. He was an absolute delight and I commented to my siblings that I hope he bought the house. On Monday he offered asking price with the condition we took the house off the market and allowed him a month to sell his home. We regretfully declined as we had previously said the same to another potential buyer and it wouldn’t have been fair. All of a sudden Mr Lovely turned into Mr Stroppy and said that in that case he’d only be able to offer £25k less than asking. The house wasn’t that great and he actually wasn’t sure that he really wanted to move anyway. Luckily the other couple sold their home that week and we accepted their offer but he was clearly after a bargain and thought he could charm a couple of silly women into doing what he wanted!!

At the end of the day her reasons for pulling out of the purchase, she hasn’t actually done anything wrong. As a pp said she will have incurred her own costs for solicitors, surveys and the like so it isn’t as though she loses nothing. I’m sure the next one will be the right one.

Rosscameasdoody · 30/01/2024 10:00

Saschka · 30/01/2024 09:28

Yep that happened to us. 16:30 the day before exchange. We could have killed the sodding vendor.

Something similar happened to us. Many EA’s have a clause in the selling contract that if a seller pulls out after having accepted an offer from a buyer willing and able to proceed, the seller is then liable to pay EA fees. I think this should be standard practice and EA’s should make it clear to vendors that this is the case - might make them think a bit more carefully before making an offer.

Jeevesnotwooster · 30/01/2024 10:00

Actually the Scots system is pretty similar in reality. Most missives are now conditional on the buyer's mortgagee being satisfied and survey being satisfied so easy for buyers to pull out if they want to. And in Scotland no deposits is paid on conclusion of missives, u like in England where a buyer will forfeit their deposit if they pull out after exchange.