To say taking Uni slow is a privilege

[GioRioMam]

Today I met up with a friend, her DD and my DD. Her DD is 24 and did the course at uni my DD has just been given a conditional offer for.
Friends daughter did the 4 year option with the year in Industry, her placement year has resulted in the job she is currently in. She then took a gap year to travel, then a masters to further specialise.
She is from a much better off family. DD will be the first in our family to do a degree, we won’t be able to fund more than the 3 years.
DD is pretty upset she won’t get to take the slower option, especially the masters, but really she needs to be working ASAP.

AIBU to say being able to take 6 years after finishing school to enter the workforce properly (friends child had part time jobs) is a massive privilege?

I agree with the principle - although working alongside/ in the holidays may help. And the year in industry could be paid potentially.

But yes. All those I know who took the slower routes are from better off backgrounds.

On the other hand, I raced through on the quickest path available and regret it. That’s a great time to see something of the world, have different experiences that may shape you as an adult.

After three years she may be capable of funding the last year, same with the masters. Writing off anything more than a theee year degree when she hasn't even started yet seems overly negative.

Which uni course/career will DD do?

I’m in law and pretty much no-one has a Masters (it would just be a vanity project and in no way helpful to the actual job). No gap/placement years but I did do a lot of work experience in the school/uni holidays, which was very helpful when it came to getting a job.

Nailing an offer for a year in industry isn't easy bit those I've known that have done it have

1. Been paid enough to live that year, and
2. Received graduate work offers

One even joined the company and had further study supported.

Very few can afford what your friends can. Be happy for them. Envy is the thief of joy.

Aren't the sandwich year students paid in post?

Being clever enough to go to university at all is a privilege.

Isn't the year in industry normally paid?
I definitely don't think the 4yr option is a privilege.
The gap year is but then a gap year to do what? Very few travel the full 12 months.....most work maybe 9months to fund 3 months travelling.

If you get a job from the year in industry they either won't want you to take gap year but could easily fund the masters, or some companies will allow a sabbatical early on to go travelling.

I agree with you op.
I don’t know why posters are arguing with you.
My dc had to work through uni too whilst others don’t.
I know someone who is still at uni and they are many years older than my dcs. They have never had a job.
It absolutely is a privilege. Just like having parents who pay for your lavish wedding, or give you thousands of pounds for a house deposit enabling you to buy a huge property in a lovely area.
Even having parents who don’t work (or barely work) and then provide free unlimited childcare. That’s a privilege.
Many people don’t see it though as it’s totally normal for them.
Life is very unfair.

My friend from a lower income background specifically chose a slower route (doing the postgraduate qualification, the GDP, part time over two years) specifically so she could work and support herself during that time. I also worked all through uni. I think you’re taking a silly approach, you’re being jealous and huffy about your friend and her friends daughter when they could be a much more valuable source of the info you’d find helpful than mumsnet! The year in industry sounds crucial and presumably would be paid? What did other people on the course do to support themselves? Could any elements be done part time alongside working? I’d go back to them and have a more constructive chat.

I don’t see any value in issuing judgments like calling things privileged or not when going to uni itself is already privileged. Stick to the facts. You can afford to support her for X amount of time. If she wants to take longer, it’s on her.

She'll just have to save up to do a masters if that what she wants
But batting on about 'privilege ' just sounds like sour grapes and envy. Everyone needs to understand that not everyone is equal be that in terms of looks, brains, compassion or money. Tough

I'm fairly sure all of my friends who had a year in placement were paid whilst they did this, so were self supporting.

I had a gap year, my parents didn't charge me any money whilst I lived at home but I worked for 6 months saving up and then travelled for 5 months with the money I had saved. I will absolutely be encouraging all of mine to do this. I guess it will be much harder for them if you can't afford to have them living at home rent free whilst they save.

I worked part time and self funded all my living costs whilst I did my masters. I had a loan for the fees.

I'm not sure why you are writing all of this offer for your daughter. I can't imagine wanting to limit my children's opportunities.

If it helps - I did a ‘year in industry’ with my degree - I chose one near my parents so that I could live at home.

i was paid about 16k for the year so I used that to pay some rent to my parents as well as travel costs etc. I still managed to save some money for final year at uni.

The tuition fees for that year were only £1000 rather than the usual £9000. However you can add that onto your usual student tuition fee loan rather than paying upfront. Some unis offer a waiver of the fee depending on what grades your getting.

I didn’t end up wanting to work at the place I did the year in industry, however when I was applying for graduate jobs the experience was really valuable in interview and in the job itself.

I always wanted to do a masters as well, but I was put off by another year not working full time so went straight into a job post uni.

A four year degree with a year in industry can be an integrated masters with no extra funding required - what subject is your dd interested in? They get paid for the year in industry (or at least they should do, some unscrupulous employers try and offer them as unpaid slavery but most unis will only approve a paid placement)

genuinely don't think we could support an extra year here either. I'm googling it and even I'd they're paid a 1k a month that wouldn't support rent as well as living costs.

They generally get more than that. When DS did his three years ago it was £18.5k a year but split over two tax years so no tax was paid, plus he was able to still get a lower maintenance loan. He managed fine without help from us and his rent for his room was 650 a month so not cheap.

The 4 year option should be allowed, the year placement is paid, so similar to working, and it can open doors, improve employability and provide excellent experience.

The gap year is her choice if she can self fund it.

Why does she need to be working ASAP?

Going to uni is a privilige that some can not achieve due to financial or health reasons for example.

Yeah its a privilege but it's not something you'd say to your friend, because it would just comes across as jealousy.

My DD is in uni, we are not funding it. We are supporting her by her still living at home and making sure she is fed, watered, warm, showered and loved. She, from the age of 16, worked by choice. Very sensible. Saved all she could, saved birthday and Christmas money once she had bought herself the things she wanted. She will be taking the year in industry because she will be paid to do that anyway. She wants to take a year out afterwards and travel. She has enough money to do that now at just turned 19, so will have plenty more money by the time she finishes uni as she's still working and her savings are increasing. Is that a privilege, or is that her hard work and drive for what she wants?

It’s a huge privilege OP. I was in the same position; I wanted to be a vet but couldn’t afford to do a 5 year degree, even though I got into a good vet school. Didn’t qualify for any bursaries as my parents earned too much.
I then applied to do a degree with year abroad and I had to drop out of the year abroad as I simply couldn’t fund it. I couldn’t afford to spend another year out of full time work so stuck with the three.
I have no regrets but at the time a lot of my better off friends did a year in management/industry/abroad. Never bothered me as I was so keen to get into full time work as I was sick of being skint!

I guess the huge privilege there is not having to pay accomodation fees or navigate shared accommodation, cooking for yourself and budgeting for bills etc. So headspace to focus on work and study. I th8nk this is fab.

This is all completely normal for a relative who lives in Australia and most of their circle go to a uni in their city and stay at home.

So yes a huge privilige but one I'd give mine too if we lived near a uni!

It's pretty early for her to start thinking about masters. Masters is a huge amount of work and, honestly, I wouldn't advise most young people to rush into masters straight after completing their first degree. I have my first degree and my masters in two completely different subjects (humanities and science) and that's because I had almost 10 years to think about what I was actually interested in as a career and research subject.
There is an argument for not going to uni after school and actually entering workforce. Then at 25 she will be fully supported by tuition and maintenance loan and can do whatever she wants. So no, I don't think it is a privilege it just requires better planning all around.

The two are not mutually exclusive. One can be privileged and work hard. In your case, your daughter is privileged to have a family home close enough to a suitable university. She has worked hard by being employed and saving money to travel.

Quite a few people are bristling at OP's use of the word 'privilege' but really. She's only using it to reference popular conceptions of parental responsibility.

We'd all agree that parents should pay for kids' food and clothing. In a similar vein, some argue that university is a necessary cost. The government has the same idea, linking funding to parental income. Quite a few think parents paying is not a privilege in the same way we don't say a child is privileged to be fed by its parents.

However, funding travel and Master's is NOT most people's idea of parental responsibility. And this has to be explained to OP's daughter. Of course, if the girl wants to fund herself she should be welcome. But OP's wallet will be firmly shut.