To say taking Uni slow is a privilege

[GioRioMam]

Today I met up with a friend, her DD and my DD. Her DD is 24 and did the course at uni my DD has just been given a conditional offer for.
Friends daughter did the 4 year option with the year in Industry, her placement year has resulted in the job she is currently in. She then took a gap year to travel, then a masters to further specialise.
She is from a much better off family. DD will be the first in our family to do a degree, we won’t be able to fund more than the 3 years.
DD is pretty upset she won’t get to take the slower option, especially the masters, but really she needs to be working ASAP.

AIBU to say being able to take 6 years after finishing school to enter the workforce properly (friends child had part time jobs) is a massive privilege?

Yes of course it is a privilege, but then again going to Uni is a privilege that lots of people don’t have. One of mine starts a first full time job tomorrow at the age of 25 having taken a very slow path. My Uni experience was more like your daughter’s and I remember running between part time jobs and lectures while friends spent their time in the Uni bar so I am really happy that we are in a position to make things easier for our kids. Education is hugely important to me so I will support as much as I can.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

And it sounds like your definition of privilege is anyone with more than you have, which is actually more like envy wrapped up in an inflammatory word.

She has a wonderful opportunity and anything could happen from it.

Be proud of her and look for ways to make what she wants work, as other people here have suggested. She will learn much more from learning to be resourceful than by feeling hard done by.

Masters doesn’t have to be done immediately after degree and usually can be taken while working full time a bit down the line. A career is a long path and there will be opportunities to gain experiences along the way. Your daughter is only 17 and being compared to a 24 year old who is already well down a career route. With a bit of time and experience your daughter might even want to specialise in a different area. You sound jealous and should encourage your daughter rather than compare.

I understand why you said no to the masters OP. This can be done part time alongside working. However the year in industry would be paid and sounds really important to me. I’d worry that she will miss out on job offers if she doesn’t do this.

Re the "well they're paid". Presumably a grand a month isn't going to pay for accomodation and living expenses is it? Or does it usually pay enough to cover rent/bills/etc of that year?

Macedonian thank you very much for those posts. My kids may end up in the science world and it's nor my world so it's helpful to see it's not just engineering etc.

It still amazed me that at 17 when kids apply that anyone knows what specific career route they want and as I say most of my friends did straight academic subjects (history/english/maths) etc or healthcare so ir really isn't my world hence learning from this thread! Much appreciated.

I'd didn't take a gap year, but have done both a year in industry and a MSc.
Both cost nothing, with the exception of fees added to a loan for the year in industry.
My gap year paid enough to live on, zero input from my parents. My MSc was fully funded - fees and living expenses. Yes, I was skint, but again zero impact on my parents.
Why do you think you can't afford this route if carefully selected?
Personally, the year in industry was the most beneficial of the degree.

Placement years are similar to apprenticeships. The ones with industry-leading firms that pay very well. And the ones that pay the minimum (NMW is lower for those under certain ages isn't it)?

Another example is a friend's son who got a placement year with an engineering firm designing robotic arms in Bristol. 25K that's a proper FT wage.

Wow yes! It's a whole new world to me. I didnt realise they paid so well and yes would make it an option (that we hadn't considered). I'd have steered away from any extra years purely on cost.

As I said I'm not sure we can support much for uni as it is and it's a shame they can't stay home for uni here as that would be a much cheaper option!

The privilege here is having parental funding to do 5 years of study that means you don't have to take significant loans or work part time or even full time alongside the study. I think you're a bit naive if you think this is the case for a lot of students, especially on masters courses. Many of them are living at home, or have taken time out to save up for living costs during study. Yes, it's not as easy as the bank of mum and dad, but it can be done.

Your daughter needs to decide whether she has the desire to do these things, and at what cost to her (not you).

Yes, but the onus is on the student to research the options. My parents both left school at 13 and were adamantly opposed to me going to university on ‘not for the likes of us’ grounds — I funded four degrees myself via scholarships.

It is the OP's daughter's choice not the OP's - let the young make their own choices as she is almost an adult at 18.

No need to plan a masters at such an early age.

Life has a way of changing any long-term plan.

The year in industry is worth finding a way to fund. I think it makes students so much more employable.

Could your daughter take a gap year and work to help fund it? I worked hard in my gap year and saved loads but also matured loads as well. And it gave me a holiday job to go back to in every uni holiday

Undergraduates are worth next to nothing these days without a PG degree.

You are going to have to accept that you will need to support your DCs through both.

Once the economy shrinks further it will be those who've been in work in better positions, believe me. Many of the yuppie made-up jobs will be gone.

Ha yes "life" got in the way of my plans in quite a big way! I'd love to be able to support my kids through life in the way many on here are able to though.

Your daughter can pay her own way during the year out in industry and then save up for her Masters

That's what my daughter did

I would think the 4 yr option would be the most sensible. A years placement isn't a luxury, but quite important.

@GettingBetter2024 both my DDs did science degrees. DD1 was able to do a placement year. It really re-energised her love for her scientific field. She graduated with a first and is now working in that field.

DD2 wasn't able to do a placement year for various reasons to do with the university. She really wanted to do one. I think the lack of placement experience held her back in job hunting.

@GioRioMam I don't think you should close the door on a placement year. They are paid. Not necessarily hugely but enough to get by on.

It seems a shame that adulthood is being defined here by some as a head down, wage slave grind ASAP.
In other countries with a skilled workforce, higher education is part of becoming an adult. We are living in a rapidly changing world, young people need all the help they can get to learn and go on learning and that includes being flexible, learning to budget and live within your income, combining work and study and looking for and taking opportunities.
Having a Masters as well as a degree is the new norm. Years in industry are usually paid and incredibly valuable. Staying in the same job, even the same industry, is it thing of the past.
We supported our kids through their first degrees though it was like having an extra mortgage, it was tough. After that they worked through their Masters and further training and now they've all got good jobs though two out of the three are doing something they could never have forseen when they went to uni.
Children need emotional support and warm, open encouragement as well as as much financial support as you can give them and it doesn't stop when they leave school.

@GioRioMam you knew this before tour DD was born and had 18 years to plan for this. Why didn't you? Maybe by even having less children? I know it sounds harsh and plans don't always work out but it doesn't sound as though you thought about it before now

You seem to be missing the point that the linger route gives a better chance over all of becoming a high earner. The year in industry is paid and you only pay minimal fees that year. So you won't have to fund in the same way but it will give your daughter hugely valuable work experience. Most people who do a master don't dive straight in, they work for a year or two to save for it. Again, because they know that it will give them a big boost. ALL University education is a privilege, I don't understand why you are curbing your child's enthusiasm to have the best start as possible

Mine did a 5 year integrated masters with a year in industry. The only thing it cost us is the extra parental support for the M year - we didn’t contribute anything to the placement year as he received a salary.

You should at least consider the year in industry - tends to be very useful in securing graduate employment afterwards.

I think your daughter is thinking too far ahead. When I started university I didn’t know I would be doing a Masters and a gap year.

Tell her to focus on her undergraduate degree and worry about the rest later.

Think you'll find it's a privilege to get any support let alone 3 years paid.

Lots of young adults pay their own way at uni through loans and jobs.

If your dd is that bothered let her realise the real world and pay for some of it herself.

Talk about first world problems.

My mother always says that all fingers are not the same length. In other words , we all have different paths in life
If your daughter wants to do a masters she should do what others have said. Take a two year Masters course and work . This is exactly what I did and what my dds intend to do when they finish their degrees.
Also there are paid internships/ placements
There are always ways to achieve one’s aim.
Instead of your focus being on what others are doing, you should focus on what you can do to support your daughter