To open my window on the bus

[notknowledgeable]

It seems to be a mission for some people to fight to have all the windows on the bus closed, for all of every journey? Why? Before covid this wasn't an issue - now it seems people have a point to make.

I get there can be a chilly draught, but just put your coat on, or put your hood up?

I am immunocompromised, and wear a mask and open the window on my way to and from work. Every single time I get ill, ( currently a couple of times a month) my classes are left with non specialist agency staff. I take all the precautions I reasonably can to keep from catching anything, but this constant battle on the bus every working day is really wearing my down.

You meet all the definitions for ‘narcissistic’ behaviour in these threads and the fact that you keep posting laughing emojis to minimise it, when you’re being ratioed with the same feedback, is concerning.

How do you reconcile your medical needs overriding others as ‘convoluted and complicated’ when anyone can see that sitting in an artificially powerful, constant cold draught is generally more dangerous than being exposed to exactly the same germs on a bus as in a classroom?

And again, how is it that your oppositional, aggressive behaviour is ok but others pushing back against it is not? And that people patiently feeding back how you come across is flipped into irrelevant humour to you? I really don’t think you understand what the ‘sociology studies’ would cover, you’re a classic example of cognitive dissonance, megalomania, and that victim mentality NPDs love so. Read up on narcissistic personality disorder if you’re ever bored. You might get some interesting insights into why people react to you as they do and maybe start some healing.

Optimistic, at best.

The OP has clearly shown multiple times that she is incapable of any form of critical self reflection. Also a classic sign of NPD.

All we have seen is grandiose declarations of her own worth and the denigration of others. She will not, and I suspect can not, accept the possibility of ever being ill informed,unimportant or down right wrong. She has accused me, and others, of being liars because what we say means that in the hierarchy of illness it means that she wouldnt be top of the triangle. The fact that her "might get ill" is trumped by someone elses "WILL get ill" simply doesnt buy into her view of her being the most important person, so that fact can safely and cheerfully be disregarded as "complicated and convoluted", despite it being 100% true.

They walk among us.

There is a lot of ranting and raving here, too much drama talking about bloody windows being open on public transport.
Guess what, I was on a bus today, to be fair first time for a while, there was a window open I was at the back and it wasn't cold, no one keeled over from the frigid air or equally from not having enough fresh air and guess what, people helped each other on and off the bus. Actual humans communicating and being nice to each other. I used buses all the time before I had a car and seriously if it was stuffy I just opened a window when I got on. If it got cold it would be shut. It didn't upset me or anyone else, or did I feel the need to scream at someone they were a narcissist for shutting, or maybe on a different day, for opening a window. And no one screamed at me!! And other people got on and maybe opened or shut a window.This was both in London and oop north believe it or not.
If you're so immunocompromised or in pain you can't travel in a bus in fear of a window being opened then how do you cope in the destination where you're going eg. A town or supermarket? I have every sympathy for people who are having difficulties on public transport and I do sympathise even if it sounds like I'm being a bastard. I've relied on public transport for a lot of my life. Including when I've been having difficulties in mobilising. There maybe options for people who have difficulties accessing public transport such as volunteer community transport or dial a ride / bus which maybe cheaper than taxis and get you to where you need. I didn't have a car for over a decade and had to rely on public transport, so i do understand the frustrations. But really opening, or perhaps even closing, a window is causing so much angst?? Madness.

I always try to be optimistic and open them as much as possible to awareness of their potential NPD. I generally have very good results as their self-image paradoxically includes being ‘a great person’ and presented firmly they can often absorb their selfish behaviour. It’s important work as everyone suffers with NPD, even the narcissist.

NPD is not a form of ‘madness’, it’s a genuine MH problem. You’re complaining about the drama but putting in your equal penny’s worth and minimising peoples’ points of view. This is the classic NPD result: winding otherwise calm people into creating drama and division and is indeed a good case study for the alleged sociologist.

The thing is, that’s what most people are saying. Virtually everyone else said they check with those around them on the bus and would move to another seat if views conflicted. Everyone here seems to understand that being on public transport requires you to show some compromise and consider the needs of those around you too.

There is one exception to that - the OP. She is insistent that her needs are greater than anyone else’s can ever possibly be and that her job means she’s way too important to ever risk being ill. She’s of the opinion that nothing else matters bar her own well being and that anyone claiming to have medical needs that conflict with hers is lying and/or exaggerating.

I can’t recall ever seeing a thread with such an arrogant and entitled view. There’s not been an ounce of self-reflection from OP or even any acknowledgment that there are others who have equal or higher health needs.

And just in answer to your question about those who can’t cope with the cold - there’s quite a difference being sat immobile while being blasted with a direct stream of cold air constantly and walking around and getting in and out of warm shops etc. The weather may be cold but walking prevents stiffness, and there’s no direct stream of cold air being directed straight at you.

Also bear in mind I very much prefer an open window! But I can completely understand why that would be difficult for some individuals. Unlike OP apparently.

I always open a window whenever I can and do ask those in surrounding seats. If they say no, fair enough.
Someone above said they doubted a couple of open windows would reduce the chance of picking up bugs. Actually the evidence is very much otherwise. Good ventilation makes an enormous difference.
I don't worry about the old or frail either - they are at far more risk from covid, flu, viruses than being a bit chilly.

OP: I have health conditions that mean I might catch something and then kids might not have a teacher (but I couldn't possibly catch something from them!)
People: The cold can cause other people to be ill and incapacitated thus meaning they can't work
Also OP: People have invented complicated and convoluted reasons ....

its been a difficult couple of days on the bus. Very aggressive window slammers not allowing anyone to open a window, and issuing name calling and threats. A couple of us have got off twice, which means a long walk with heavy bags in pouring rain along unlit roads with unpaved footpaths.

It is so stressful. I am really anxious about setting off for work again today. Getting off in the morning is really hard, as I arrive at work late, cold, wet and muddy and behind myself all day. Yesterday all my year 9 books were wet too. Getting off on the way home is not so bad.

Lets see what today brings

Weird, you said this on the first page: I'm not well enough to cycle or walk or un to work, when I am fit and well, I do. but that is likely to be years away still.

But you clearly are well enough to walk, as you've chosen to do it, in poor conditions, when you could've just stayed on the bus for a few minutes.

Sounds like you just like to martyr yourself really.

a long walk with heavy bags in pouring rain along unlit roads with unpaved footpaths.

This is an excessive level of discomfort, strenuousness and by the sounds of it danger on account of closed windows (in a vehicle that opens doors repeatedly) for a few minutes.

Yes, its amazing what people will do to prove their martyr status isnt it?

I have a feeling that constantly trying to resurrect you own thread with constant updates and "pity me" comments is probably indicative of some personality disorder too...

As is getting off the warm, safe bus and slogging through the wind and the rain on dangerous roads just in case someone coughs inside the not air tight bus which keeps opening the doors anyway....

I'm going to guess the horrendous driving wind and rain which is probably blowing through the open windows and soaking people who have caught the bus to stay relatively dry and warm (maybe because they have health conditions which are made worse by said rain and wind and cold) is why they keep closing the windows - which are designed to keep the rain and wind OUTSIDE

If it’s heavy rain then people behind the open windows are going to get that in their faces. But as long are you’re ok that’s all that matters.

OP are you trying to win an award for most self centred poster on MN? It’ll be quite a feat but your odds are good.

I also find it hard to believe more than one person decided a long walk in the rain was a good idea

OP did you question them as to if that's why they got off?

Maybe it was just their stop

Nah I hate it when people open windows on buses, I've got Raynaud's and really feel the colds.
I'm sorry but your needs don't trump the needs of others. You have no idea why other people don't want the windows open.

You said previously: "I'm not well enough to cycle or walk or un to work" (sic), so how on earth did you manage a long walk with heavy bags, letting your students books get damaged in the process? Why didn't you just stand near the front of the bus where the doors are opening and closing regularly? And really, someone else is also immunocompromised and been called names and threatened for attempting to open the windows and so has got off the bus with you? It's nice you have another martyr to compare notes with.

On a summers day fine. In this weather absolutely not.

Maybe this is becoming a work of fiction?!

Why would you do something which would make you late plus cold and wet to boot? As well as sounding dangerous! Bizarre behaviour if true.

what?
they said they walked part of it, not that they walked the whole thing.
Most people who can walk to the bus stop are capable of walking PART of their bus trip, whether that's half a mile or five. That doesn't mean they can walk the whole distance.

There's a difference between being outside in the cold, and sitting still in an icy blast of wind

You’d rather walk along unlit roads and unmade footpaths in the dark, wet and windy weather with heavy bags rather than stay on a bus because you can’t have the windows opened (even though, as people say, you could stay near the door which opens on a regular basis). That just sounds nuts.

I used to hate open windows on buses when I was at school, especially on a prolonged journey. Thankfully I don’t need to use the cattlewagon anymore!

I find it so interesting that school germs all know to head over to the open windows and leave the room day in, day out! Fascinating! 🤣

Poor kids having constant open windows through the winter.

You are coming across as very pompous, selfish and self-important. There may be people whose illnesses get triggered by being cold on the bus and yes, some of them may even be teachers.