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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think, sure you can’t help coughing/sneezing- but you can help the volume of it?!

83 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 28/01/2024 10:24

DH has a cough. Has had it for a few weeks now. Hasn’t seen a GP or done anything at all about it beyond swig some night/day nurse because that would be far too sensible.

My issue isn’t so much with the cough as how fucking LOUD it is. It’s like a starter pistol going off. I’ll be trying to get our baby to sleep, in he comes, lets out a cough like a fucking cannon, baby jolts awake, starts crying, the whole process starts again.

I can only assume he’s inherited this trait from his father who has a sneeze so obnoxiously loud we once heard it from down the street when we were walking to their house.

It’s starting to piss me off now. AIBU?

OP posts:
Pickingmyselfup · 28/01/2024 20:20

My husband always tells me I cough loud but I don't intend to be loud. I can make it quieter by coughing with my mouth closed which I do if I absolutely need to but at home I just want to cough normally.

Same with sneezes, sometimes they are loud which again I can control by kind of sneezing into myself but it's not the same and sometimes a sneeze takes me by surprise and so it just comes out at my normal volume.

I am not a performance cougher or sneezer, I'm just as loud if I'm on my own because that's just me. Perhaps your husband is the same although I would be looking at some kind of change if it was waking the baby. I don't think I'm loud enough to wake anybody up but if it was happening frequently I would have to make changes so it didn't keep happening.

Not waking the baby I would just let him get on with it unless I thought he was doing it on our purpose but it's entirely possible he's like me and isn't. I think being a woman might work in my favour in this case though because on the whole we have quieter volume than men so I suppose its the same for coughs and sneezes 🤷‍♀️

Noshowlomo · 28/01/2024 20:21

For those asking how you control it, you kind of sneeze internally, and it all comes out of your shoulders (that makes no sense), but it comes out a squeak as opposed to a roar. I assumed everyone could do it, so when my husband was sneezing loudly when our son was a baby, I would get the rage,

SarahAndQuack · 28/01/2024 20:23

Duckingfun · 28/01/2024 20:17

Please educate me, you don’t have a hanky or tissue and you’re about to sneeze. What does an adult do?

This adult, like 90% of other adults, carries a hanky as a matter of course. Because that is part of being an adult.

In addition, if I know I've got a cold, I make sure I have several tissues, and I think about where I might be if I were to get a sneezing fit.

Duckingfun · 28/01/2024 20:30

SarahAndQuack · 28/01/2024 20:23

This adult, like 90% of other adults, carries a hanky as a matter of course. Because that is part of being an adult.

In addition, if I know I've got a cold, I make sure I have several tissues, and I think about where I might be if I were to get a sneezing fit.

Can I ask how old you are? I’m 35 and have never met anyone other than the elderly who carries a hanky. Usually I get a mammoth sneeze just because something has irritated my nose rather than an illness but I will try and do better

SarahAndQuack · 28/01/2024 21:21

Duckingfun · 28/01/2024 20:30

Can I ask how old you are? I’m 35 and have never met anyone other than the elderly who carries a hanky. Usually I get a mammoth sneeze just because something has irritated my nose rather than an illness but I will try and do better

I'm 39, but since Covid, most people I know carry tissues.

Duckingfun · 28/01/2024 21:30

SarahAndQuack · 28/01/2024 21:21

I'm 39, but since Covid, most people I know carry tissues.

I think you must have a much more upper class circle than my bunch of slovenly friends 🙈I always get laughed at for having a hanky!

Panterus · 28/01/2024 21:30

Sometimes my sneezes are quiet, most of the time they're ear splitting.

I don't control the volume.

Why are people so judgemental these days?

Guess what, not all bodies are the same.

Catsmere · 28/01/2024 21:39

My last boss had such a massive full-voice sneeze that every time he drew breath for one I'd drop my pens and stick my fingers in my ears. We worked in a very small space, side by side, and it was so loud it was painful.

OP, if your husband's cough persists more than a couple of months, he needs to get to a doctor. Is it a post-viral cough? I had one after a mere cold that lasted three months. I had to take Symbicort for a while to stop it (I'm mildly asthmatic).

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