To think, sure you can’t help coughing/sneezing- but you can help the volume of it?!

[AngeloMysterioso]

DH has a cough. Has had it for a few weeks now. Hasn’t seen a GP or done anything at all about it beyond swig some night/day nurse because that would be far too sensible.

My issue isn’t so much with the cough as how fucking LOUD it is. It’s like a starter pistol going off. I’ll be trying to get our baby to sleep, in he comes, lets out a cough like a fucking cannon, baby jolts awake, starts crying, the whole process starts again.

I can only assume he’s inherited this trait from his father who has a sneeze so obnoxiously loud we once heard it from down the street when we were walking to their house.

It’s starting to piss me off now. AIBU?

I've been accused of sneezing loudly. I just sneeze normally. I don't suppress it artificially, I just let it go. I can suppress it in really quiet situations like around a sleeping baby but I'm not going to start doing routinely. It's so unnecessary.

Have some fun with it.

See if you can cough or sneeze louder than him and see what his reaction is. Thats what I used to do.

Not if its gonna disturb the baby though, obviously. More when it's just the two of you around or your with his family, friends and colleagues.

You are my people.

My husbands sneezes could wake the dead and have made me and the cat out of our skin more than once.

YABU. I have a ridiculous loud sneeze and due to having allergies and sinus issues it comes on quickly. I have no control over the volume and I have honestly tried. I used to be embarrassed but now I laugh and make a comment about it being a very dainty sneeze when people bless me in shops and laugh. I also have a very loud cough if I get a bad chest or virus and again, I can’t make it any quieter. Oddly, my dad was the same do I do wonder if it is something to do with the shape of my airways/nasal passages.

I have tried to sneeze quietly- can’t manage it.

I’m just saying what the NHS website states. Go moan to them if you disagree.

I think it's really difficult to control how loudly you cough, but I'm another who finds their DH's sneezing performatively loud.

Mind you, if you find him murdered, it will be due to his horrendously loud sniffing which makes me feel physically ill.

Coughing, can’t be controlled.

Sneezing. DH and his ridiculous loud sneeze, he is a lovely man but when he sneezes at a million decibels I want to KILL HIM WITH FIRE.

Volume of sneezing might be hard to control but adding unnecessary bloody vocal flourishes isn’t.

I could blow the roof off with my sneezes and I find it massively embarrassing so I don’t think you can help it

I have a loud sneeze and a sneeze that makes my whole body shudder. I get no warning (hardly) and so there is no possibility of my controlling it. I slipped a disc about 20 years ago during a sneezing fit and now you can imagine I have great incentive to control my sneezes. I can't.

Good to know people I work with and live with are as irritated as you are. Joy!

I also have ridiculously loud hiccups that come on unexpectedly and are equally as embarrassing

My mother and husband basically roar when they sneeze and it pisses me off. I can totally control the volume of my sneezes!! Why can’t they?!?

I hate it when this issue crops up! I’m a loud sneezer when it’s allergy-related. If I try to suppress the sneeze, it is painful and feels like my throat is being shredded. It also massively increases the likelihood of my nose exploding instead…😬

It’s embarrassing to think that people are judging my volume and think it’s for performance! I would love to be able to do a cute little stifled sneeze every time!

How do you control the volume? I definitely can’t and would love to

I trapped a nerve in my neck coughing with such force when I had Covid that I ended up with radial nerve entrapment in my arm. Took lots of private physio, months of sleepless nights and time to improve and even after 4 years it still flares up. I’d love a nice controllable sneeze and cough!

I have weak blood vessels in my nose and if I try to stifle a sneeze I usually have nosebleed which can be difficult to stop. So, I am afraid the decibels are right up there and I'm sorry if you are one of the people I've frightened out of their skin.

I think you'll just have to accept it as an annoying trait. My sneezes aren't quiet, but it's difficult to control their volume, and trying to suppress the sneeze can be painful. If you're a naturally quiet sneezer, you're fortunate, but I imagine there's something else you do that is unfairly annoying people around you. (Noisy breathers used to irritate me, for instance, before I noticed that I breathe more audibly now, myself.)

Sneezing or coughing loudly can’t be helped, my go to is to feel sympathy

DH sneezes unbelievably loudly and swears he can't help it, and it is true his mum is also a loud sneezer - in fact even worse as it's very high pitched and especially startling. He always sneezes at least 3 times in a row and I have to put my hands over my ears when he starts!

Oh yes to the performance sneezing. So so loud with excessive vocal flourishes. Interestingly my son now adult has inherited loud,performance sneezing. Meanwhile myself and my daughter can sneeze at a normal volume that doesn't cause small children in supermarkets to cry.

I don't think anyone can change how loud they sneeze, not sure about coughing, it may depend whether it's a tickly cough or chesty? I sneeze quite loudly and can't sneeze any other way.

OMG yes.

I accept that sometimes, you can't control the volume or timing of a cough or sneeze. But often, you bloody can.

My dad is one who will sneeze - without a tissue or a hand in the way! - at huge volume, and then claim woundedly 'but I can't help it!'. During covid my mum finally wommaned up, and the instant she saw him do an intake of breath ready to sneeze, she shouted 'SarahsDad, you're going to sneeze!' Eventually, he got the message that most people learn during childhood, that actually, there are signs that you're storing up a sneeze.

I've not got a lot of sympathy for people who whine that it's painful to suppress a cough or sneeze. Yes: terrible for you. But, assuming you're not physically holding in a sneeze by holding your nose, you'll be fine. Consider this: once, there was a time when you thought it was awful your mummy didn't let you pick your nose and eat it. But you learned not to do that. So you can learn to control the other things, too.

It may be something that not everyone can control but it is definitely something that some people can control but also if I'm struggling and need a good loud cough to clear phlegm, i would move away from others as much as possible to do it.

My DH sneezes like Shirley Temple. It's uncanny. And he gets really shitty when we all fall about laughing.