To think, sure you can’t help coughing/sneezing- but you can help the volume of it?!

[AngeloMysterioso]

DH has a cough. Has had it for a few weeks now. Hasn’t seen a GP or done anything at all about it beyond swig some night/day nurse because that would be far too sensible.

My issue isn’t so much with the cough as how fucking LOUD it is. It’s like a starter pistol going off. I’ll be trying to get our baby to sleep, in he comes, lets out a cough like a fucking cannon, baby jolts awake, starts crying, the whole process starts again.

I can only assume he’s inherited this trait from his father who has a sneeze so obnoxiously loud we once heard it from down the street when we were walking to their house.

It’s starting to piss me off now. AIBU?

I have the most horrible cough at the minute. It's annoying me never mind anyone else who has to hear it. I'm forever apologising but my colleagues are so nice and keep saying you can't help being ill. Not sure they'll think the same if they get it.

I assure you if I could change the way I sneeze I would. I swear it will kill me one day. You must all have small sneezes and seem to think people sneeze loudly because they choose to but I think that makes you all idiots who don't understand biology.

So what about the posters who's husband's can sneeze quietly in the cinema etc., but can't at home.

That's not biology 🙄

My neighbour does this. It fucks me right off. But he also whistles loudly and talks loudly and thinks he's in charge of the street. He's nearly 80 and a pain in the arse. I look forward to age kicking in on him - yes I'm a miserable cow but he's such a mysoginist.

Suppressing sneezes can cause blood vessels to rupture, burst ear drums and various other health issues. I'm not surprising anything, it's a bloody sneeze now can you be offended by it?

I hate loud sneezing, it's so unnecessary and people do it deliberately I think!

How can you control the amount of noise you make when you sneeze?
I wish I could.

I’ve tried to understand this post but I’m struggling. How is eating bogies comparable to the sneezing? it really isn’t a question of just controlling it. If I try to suppress my sneezes, it hurts my throat and I often end up with a nosebleed. Other posters have
mentioned back and muscular injuries caused by severe sneezing episodes - do you think they are ‘whining’ too?

I’m sure some people do ‘performance sneeze’ and could tone it down somewhat but we’re not all doing it for the show!

I’m 5ft, I sound like a Smurf, I hate attention. I assure you I don’t sneeze like a building being demolished deliberately

So he's not allowed to sneeze normally in his own home? He's being considerate for people paying for movie but are you really saying he should repeatedly put himself at risk in his own home because his wife has palpitations about a sneeze? Christ some women really do hate men

My BIL sneezes like this. Makes me want to smack him in the face. So bloody annoying and no need.

How do you change the volume of a cough or sneeze? Is there a dial somewhere?
Sometimes I cough loudly, sometimes it's quiet - it depends whether I have a bad cold or just a tickle in my throat.
Similarly, sometimes my sneezes are dainty, other times they're explosive; they almost always sneak up on me with no warning.

It's comparable because they are both behaviours that children tend to think are totally natural and impossible to control.

I've pulled muscles in my chest by coughing myself; I absolutely don't think it's 'whining' to say so. But that doesn't mean it's impossible for most people to control the volume of most sneezes or coughs. They're not related issues. Some of the nastiest pulled chest muscles I've had, have been from more-or-less silent coughing.

Maybe you genuinely, really can't control the volume. But a lot of people claim they can't control anything, and what they mean is, they're not prepared to bother with the basic courtesies the rest of us manage. I'm thinking of people who say 'but I can't tell I'm going to sneeze!' when they actually know perfectly well they're full of a cold and might well need to duck out of a room quickly. Or people who say 'but cough sweets don't work!' when they mean 'oh, it'd only buy me time to get out of the room to cough in private'.

Of course you shouldn't give yourself a nosebleed. But equally, putting up with a bit of discomfort so that you don't infect people around you, is pretty basic.

I had an awful cough recently, lasted about 2 months. It was loud and I absolutely could not control it. I hate any kind of attention and if I could have coughed quietly then I bloody would have.

My DP is fully aware that if he ever ends up under the patio it will be because of his fucking ridiculous sneezing. He says he can't help it but I KNOW that when he's somewhere that demands quiet like a funeral or somewhere else hushed he bloody can.

I think there are things you can do to help such breathing exercises could give more control and external measures can make a difference such as using a hanky etc and turning away from people.
They're well also be a lot of influencing factors outwith anyones control such as facial features, respiratory conditions, illness etc.

Surely sneezing into a hanky or elbow is enough to not infect people? I don’t think my ginormous sneeze is as infectious as a dainty one? I’ve tried to quietly sneeze and it just blasts out of me and nearly pops my head off! Luckily I’m not ill often because I hate being a loud sneezer

Sneezing into your elbow is grim. No, it isn't enough not to infect people. It's better than nothing, but it's still disgusting, and an adult ought to be able to do better.

@SarahAndQuack Oh these loud sneezes are covered, I promise! Tissue or hanky, ideally, hand or elbow if it’s a stealth sneeze! Open sneezing is a separate issue to loud sneezing and yes, I’m 100% on board that (assuming able-bodied enough) those are controllable!

Well, then you are wonderful! IME the Venn diagram of loud sneezers/coughers is almost a perfect circle with those who don't cover their sneezes/coughs properly. Since sneezing/coughing into a tissue already reduces the noise a bit, it's something that really matters!

Man sneezing is A Thing. Like manspreading. Obnoxious and arrogant.

Please educate me, you don’t have a hanky or tissue and you’re about to sneeze. What does an adult do?

I'm sorry this just made me laugh out loud as my wonderful mum used to sneeze really loud and claim that it wasn't her fault as her ears closed when she sneezed so she couldn't hear herself.

He can obviously try his best to lower it down a tad, but if I get caught off guard I sneeze quite loud, I think it gets louder or more dramatic when I try to make it a nice quiet sneeze as it just turns into a strange long noise instead. I'm sorry that's not much help, but your post did cheer me up (sorry I know you are annoyed)

No.

I can sneeze more quietly when I have more warning, so if I can feel it coming I can limit the volume. But sometimes the bastards just creep up on me and BAM loud sneeze and not even enough time to sneeze into my elbow.