No inheritance because of pilot training

[Poily]

My brother is a pilot for a major airline in the UK. My parents were not able to borrow against their house to fund it so had to use pretty much all their savings. £150k was roughly what was spent.

Due to their failed business (folded just after Covid) they racked up massive loans trying to save their hospitality-related business. When they sell their house they won’t end up with much.

So I don’t know exactly how it works but some of that £150k ends up in a bond which the airline then pays out to my brother every month in his pay packet. But if my brother walks away from the airline he walks away from this bond also. It’s a lot of money. Gets paid over 7 years I think.

AIBU to think my brother should not quit his job and move to the Middle East (stupid salary) as he plans to do? He way paying that bond money to my parents.

Brother has said he will cover my parents bills. Great. Thats the right thing to do. But that cuts me out. As my parents were transferring the bond
money into a savings account for my kids.

AIBU?

@DriftingDora

Still a hell of a lot of money, though! OP's brother must have known in advance what sort of amount of was involved in his training (presumably so did the parents as they were doing the paying).

They might not have done.....the economics of this can be a mystery to none -flyers, and the flying schools can be, to put it politely, less than transparent than the rose tinted specs they put in their ads when it to comes to what a package does and doesn't include.

The brother hopefully would have known what the basic commercial licence element would have cost (that's the 80k plus a bit) but as the OP has mentioned it sounds like there was possibly a type rating (expensive) and possibly extra flying for recency due covid . If that was done before the brother had joined the airline formally that might have been self funded.

Whatever the reason there's more than a few who have blown 150k on training on the way to a job at an airline.

Add living expenses on top of the course fees and the real figure can be at least double if the person had to move thousand of miles to access a flying school.

And I did wonder if a type rating was involved in what the Op is telling us.

You say the airline had approximately £80k, paid by your parents, so where did the other £70k go - previously stated that the loan was £150k and training approximately £150k?

An inheritance doesn't become an inheritance until someone actually dies. At the moment, this is your parents money, OP and as such, it is between your parents and your Brother.

Also, given that any eventual inheritance would be split between you and your brother he doesn't benefit by £150k 'extra' at all. It will cost him to build a house big enough to accommodate your parents and he will be paying their rent and spending money as a way of repaying them the balance of what he owes them, having already repaid them some of it - presumably more than half of the £150k if he's been paying them for 4 years out of 7 years

According to your previous posts it seems to me they would have HAD to sell their house in any case, to settle their debts? I think you are looking at this the wrong way to be honest. Sounds like your Brother fully intends to reimburse them in kind by looking after them after they got in a mess with their business during Covid, sadly

If your children have been getting £700 a month for 4 years - they have already been given more than £34,000?

Exactly how many thousands have they given your kids so far? It must be a huge amount, much, much more than most kids get.

Yet you're whinng about them not having more?

Why do you think they should have more? Considering the financial rough patch your parents are in.

So your brother was given/lent £150K for training. He's already paid back a big chunk via the "bond". He's now changing jobs, so is offering to pay your parent's rent and spending money indefinitely. In the matter of a few years he will have paid back to your parents what they gave/lent to him and much, much more.

You/your children have been given tens of thousands of pounds via a £700 a month gift from your parents. What's your/their plan to pay that money back to your parents? How are you/your children planning on financially contributing to your parents?

It's exceptionally clear which child is the CF with their grasping hand out here! Clue: It's not OP's brother!

If your parents hadn't given him the money then they'd surely have wasted more trying to keep their business afloat and would be living off it themselves anyway so there wouldn't be any inheritance left for you.

The fact they had lent some to your brother at least gives them some security now to provide for their living costs.

The brother changing his job and changing his repayment terms to their parents is a complete red herring to the situation.

It boils down to:

• Parents were previously putting £700 per month into saving accounts for OPs children.
• Now parents are broke and can’t afford to continue putting money into the children’s savings.
• OP is pissed off that the gravy train has ended.

Anything to do with the brother is unrelated and distracting from the above.

It’s true, they don’t owe the OP an inheritance, but I can thoroughly understand why she’s feeling that it’s unjust if he throws in the towel with this job and that means he’s not getting the £150K paid back. It’s bound to cause resentment. It appears very unequal.

You’re right it is unequal.

one child is trying to support his parents through a horrible period and make sure they are suitably provided for.

the other is complaining about her children not getting £700 a month and saying she can’t help as she doesn’t live close.

Well no, but I wonder if you had a sibling and they had £150k to enhance their life whether you'd be happy with fuck all from your parents? When it's theoretical of course it's easy to say it's their money to do as they please with which it is, but I don't know anyone who wouldn't feel aggrieved.

This

By heck, with that sort of money involved the training schools should be transparent about exactly what's involved. I thought it wouldn't be cheap to train, but didn't realise it was such megabucks. The thought of spending all that money and not qualifying doesn't bear thinking about.

Most people whose children were getting £700 a month from their bankrupt grandparents wouldn’t consider themselves as being given “fuck all” imo

Inheritance is a red flag here - no one is dead OP!!

It sounds like your parents were financially comfortable and basically lent your brother £150k for his flying career. Your brother was paying this back to them at the rate he was reimbursed by his employer. He wishes to change employer now so had suggested to parents that he repay via rent and future housing costs plus bills. This is their arrangement and they are clearly okay with it as they actually need help with housing and bills now and in the future. He isn’t stealing anything from his parents he’s ensuring he repays his debt to them. He owes you or your children nothing.

On your side you have never taken a loan from your parents so there is nothing for you to repay. You were expecting a huge inheritance from them however their financial fortunes have drastically declined and they are basically broke now with massive debts. There is NO inheritance available for you even if they die this year there is fuck all in the pot for you OP.

On your children’s side their grandparents have been making extremely generous monthly savings for them. The grandparents are now SKINT hence the monthly savings are stopping. This also has fuck all to do with your brother. There is no suggestion that your children’s savings of £30/40k (a hell of a lot!!!) be returned to your parents to service their debts.

so in summary you should be feeling bloody lucky that your children’s savings have been ring fenced and your brother is going to provide for your parents going forward (yes in repayment but if they aren’t extremely elderly then housing bills over their remaining lifetime are likely to exceed his debt anyway!!)

you are being utterly unreasonable is saying your brother is stealing your inheritance or depriving your children of their savings. The gravy train has stopped because your parent’s business folded and they are utterly broke.

Exactly this

Why should the airline pay to train them then have them leave and go elsewhere?

This.

Focus on improving your own earnings and savings for your children if it’s important to you

This is rich, @Babadook76 , since OP's brother was only enabled to earn so well by his parents giving him £150k, while OP got NOTHING.

She didn’t get NOTHING. She’s had half the £80K that her brother has repaid so far.

Why should my brother’s choice of repayment negatively impact my kids?
How about YOU make it up OP. They're your kids so why don't you take over the payments? Your brothers business is really not your concern and it is ONLY that the gravy train is no longer stopping at your station.
The concern for your parents and the situation they are in isn't exactly shining through this grabby post.

See to me the loan has become a gift all of a sudden
The loan that has been continuously repaid and clearly still will be by your brother providing housing and care for your parents now that their circumstances are so drastically changed. They must be so glad that he has stepped up for them. You weren't clear about how often you help them out?

Brother is doing right my parents. Happy about that. But it means I am now totally overlooked
Your brother sounds like a great guy. Not only has he been paying back what your parents lent him but will now be ensuring that they are looked after in every way in their older years.

You could jump in at any time before he builds a house for them to live in and offer to have them live with you? You can take care of them, he can go back to giving them money instead and you can get your grabby little paws on it that way.

I don't quite get this because your brother hasn't inherited/been given anything - he did get 150k but it was a loan?
So yes, he should pay it back and not just decide not to.
But this should be because your parents now need the money, not so your children can inherit, because if he pays it back that makes you and your brother even at no inheritance each and so if money was then given to your children and not him, that advantages your branch of the family in inheritance over your brother's line.

@CJsGoldfish I could not agree more. The OP is sitting on £30-40k of her parents money whilst they sell their house to pay their debt, her brother is going to bail them out and provide them with a home and care for the rest of their lives and OP has the nerve to be miffed for some inexplicable reason.

He's paying it back though.

*You’re right it is unequal.

one child is trying to support his parents through a horrible period and make sure they are suitably provided for.

the other is complaining about her children not getting £700 a month and saying she can’t help as she doesn’t live close*

Whilst the other sibling has been receiving an extra £1666 per month for 4 years, in total £80,000 from the airline repaying him. Out of that he has been repaying the parents at £700 per month

The parents in turn have been giving this money to the grandchildren.

Now the ds wants to jack it all in and forget about paying anything else back to his parents and go and earn big money in the Middle East even though he doesn’t like the Middle East. (So that doesn’t look like it is going to be along term plan)

Whilst the parents might be bankrupt and have lost their house there seems to be something quite off and quite deceitful

The parents seem to be trying to hide money from their creditors and like a lot of people who think they are smart enough to get one over on others they leave themselves open to be conned themselves

If your brother has only repaid around £34000 when is he going to repay the rest

Also if he needs to go to the Middle East to have enough money for this grand plan then why is he looking at places this weekend.

He either has the money so why can’t he repay your parents and why would he need to go abroad to work or he doesn’t. In which case why is he viewing properties with your parents?

Or is this more about showing them a dream that has as much chance of becoming reality as his repayment plan for the £150,000 he borrowed

What’s to say that if the parents had an extra £150,000 then maybe they wouldn’t have lost the business. That £150,000 could have been the difference between surviving long enough to be able to rebrand or sell and wouldn’t have go bankrupt and lose their home
and maybe forcing their ds to be more realistic and found a training programme more within his personal budget