Split between siblings and grandchildren

[Wouldliketobeanon]

I would like to be anonymous for this so have changed my name.

I am single and live in a privately rented home. I have no dependents and fully support all of my costs with a single income. I'm not skint but not wealthy. If I need more money I work more (cleaning or freelance). I work full time.

My mum (dad died 3 years ago) has a healthy sum in the bank and lots of bits of expensive jewellery plus dad's bits and pieces, it's all worth quite a bit. She's not been in the best of health and is looking to pass on some of her jewellery and dad's to us while she's still with us for us to enjoy and share that enjoyment with her. I support this if its what she wants.

I have one sister who has three children. She has a husband and they both work but they are spenders, drive lovely cars on finance, lots of work to house (no judgement). They are always asking mum for money and she gives it to them (again no judgement, it's mum's money) I'm saying this for background.

My AIBU mum is talking about splitting her belongings five ways, me, sister, three nieces. I think it should be split 50/50 between me and sister and then sister can give to her daughters if she chooses.

What do you think? I would NEVER say this to any of them and will go with whatever mum decides but just wondered if I was being unreasonable?

But 4/5ths of the estate is coming in to her immediate family! The OP's situation is not remotely comparable to her sisters for God's sake.

OP's siblings family is also OP's family!

OP's sibling will no more own the money going to the grandchildren than OP will.

OP's sibling and the grandchildren are individuals, not one unit.

For gods sake 🤣🤣

Doesn't matter what house its going to, its about the PERSON (for gods sake).

OP and sister will receive exactly the same. Children are people in their own right.

My mum was going to do this ( but the children are mine and my dbro has no children) but was advised not to because Capital gains tax. I'm not sure what the rules are re this or whether the dolicitor was right. Fwiw all my inheritances will be going to my kids anyway, to pay uni fees/ house deposits because otherwise their lives will be a huge struggle I think, so I won't see any of my inheritance. Dbro will be able to do what he likes with his half.

I wonder if your mum is concerned that if she gave you snd your sister 50/50 her half would be frittered away, so wants some kept aside for the grandchildren? If half went to your sister and she's not good with money, her or her husband could keep dipping into it leaving nothing for their children ( not in a cruel way, intending to put it back) then not having any money whereas if its left directly to the children at least its there for them. By the time you die they could possibly be in thrir 50's.

This could be the same as my situation when I get to your mums age. I have 2 adult DDs. One is single with no children and the other is married with 2 DDs. If I were in your mums position I would leave a bequest to my grandchildren, either money or jewellery and the rest of the estate split 50/50 between my 2 DDs.

I am really not sure how you would broach this with your mum though. Are you sure she means split her whole estate 5 ways or just personal belongings like jewellery? In which case I can understand that. If she means split the whole estate 5 ways I think that is unfair. However no one can take inheritances for granted. She might need that money for care.

Following with interest. My husband and I have no children, but his sibling has three children. His parents don’t want to leave 50% of their estate to my husband’s sibling because they believe (probably correctly) that it will be entirely frittered away and that the three grandchildren will ultimately end up with nothing. Consequently, they’ve specified in their will that each grandchild will receive £50k and the remaining estate will then be split 50/50 between my husband and his sibling. I understand their logic, but this reduces my husband’s (potential) inheritance and he feels it’s unfair and believes the 3x £50k should be taken from his sibling’s share. He won’t say anything to his parents or get involved as it’s ultimately up to them how they wish to divide their estate. However, as another poster has said, what if the sibling had 10 children? Where would it all stop?

My family doesn’t discuss money so I’m not aware of how my own parents intend to divide their estate. My own sibling has two children and I would not be in the least bit surprised if the estate was split equally four ways… 25% each to me, my sibling and my two niblings. I would feel very hurt by this, however, as it would reinforce in my mind that my sibling is the golden child. It’s not about the money, it’s about the rationale of those decisions, and I doubt there would be any explanation provided.

It’s so easy to see how money/inheritances can tear families apart.