Wtf do we do? Forced to private educate DS (4)

[Thehonestbadger]

DS is quite significantly disabled (ASD/PICA) he’s very well documented with lots of expert evidence and a strong EHCP and has been at a private nursery for over a year doing well with a 1:1.

Due to go to school this September but not legal school age till Easter/25 as that’s when he turns 5. I absoloutley cannot cope with him at home, I’m chronically unwell myself and had an actual breakdown before we found his current nursery. He’s lovely, but extremely hard work and the physical care is a lot and I also have a 2yo DD to consider.

Essentially every mainstream school we’ve consulted has now turned us down citing they cannot meet his need. Council say no recourse aren’t willing to work with schools RE funding…etc
All the specialist schools we consulted said no, some lower level said he was too high needs, higher level said not high needs enough and there’s over 100 kids for each space as is. We’ve been told he’ll be handed to some specialist team who can dump him anywhere in the region and won’t take our opinions/input into consideration and if we don’t like it we have to fight them legally (could be several hours away, could not place him at all as there’s no spaces anywhere)

At the moment our only option who might admit him is the local private school (a lot comes down to spaces they can offer/layout/staff ratio…etc) which our council worker is very ‘pro’ (their suggestion actually) and tbh everyone I’ve mentioned it to is adamant we should do as it’s ‘clearly the best option’ but WE CANNOT AFFORD IT! Council will pay for his 1:1 but not toward fees! It would be very tight and I would feel awful about sending DS but not DD and logistically wouldn’t be able to get them to two separate schools. We wouldn’t have gone private if DS weren’t disabled but it feels like we have no other option.

Ive invested so much time and energy over the last 2 years and I just want to cry now.

I wouldn't send him to the private school. It's really not a good idea to put a child into a school that they probably aren't going to flourish in, in the hope that they'll sink or swim. It could lead to all sorts of school related trauma and school refusal down the line. There are tens of thousands of people with SEN children at home, who can't go to school now, because they've had such a bad time in schools that have been unable to meet their needs.
You've gotten this far with the battle, I'd push on and refuse to pay.

Unfortunately this is the situation facing many autistic children and their parents. My own son is cognitively delayed with behaviour difficulties, he doesn’t meet the threshold for full SEN school at the moment. He could go to a mainstream primary with a SEN base but most of those focus on eventual full integration. That may be ok for children without GDD/LD but it’s simply political game playing with children who will need lifelong support for high needs. You have to put them in an unsustainable situation until either the LA crack and find them a suitable placement or you crack and homeschool (because some mainstream will usually try and reduce the timetable until you feel you have no choice).

At least an EHCP forces the hand of the LA to meet the child’s needs at mainstream, or at least to some degree. The higher the funding band, the more money the school can invest into additional sen provisions.

BCP LA?

The LEA is obliged to.find a school.that can meet your child s needs and fund it too.if necessary you need proper advice about this have you contacted the Sen Independent advisory service in your area ?

If you can’t afford it, then how will you pay for it?

Are you sure the private school is able to cope with his needs?

If you can find the money then perhaps try it for a year or 2, just to take some pressure off of you.

It may be that you use the next year or 2 to find a different setting for him or if he’s coping well, using the time to figure out how to pay his fees for the foreseeable and perhaps DDs too.

Some private schools have scholarships etc which may be useful for DD but I think you have enough to deal with right now.

So I would try and get DS into the private school for now and then go from there.

The LA have to provide a place. Schools can be directed by the LA to take him and make his reasonable adjustments. If they can't provide a place they have to pay to cover private fees.

If he's an Easter baby and so won't be CSA (compulsory school age) until the summer term you could seek to defer his entry to Reception until the September after he has turned 5. There's a Facebook group called Flexible Admission for Summer Borns. You should be able to find help and advice there. Good luck!

Contact your MP. Make him/her aware of what is going on in his/her constituency and how it is affecting the people he/she represents. Demand education is properly funded and SEN children receive what they are entitled to without a fight. We have an election coming up - you and your child really matter.

I don't have anything useful to add but just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are having to cope with this. It's absolutely heartbreaking.

The local authority have a statutory duty to meet his needs, provide schooling and find an appropriate school. It shouldn't be up to you, although obv you have the final say. The problem with mainstream schools is that they are already underresourced and generally unsupported by the LA, who have no money either. I wouldn't recommend a private school unless it is for special needs, they're unlikely to cope. If the LA can't provide state education, then they may have to fund the private.

https://www.gov.uk/courts-tribunals/first-tier-tribunal-special-educational-needs-and-disability

You could try going to tribunal. Have a look at this page, the government explains what it is for.

Also agree about going to your MP or local Borough Councillor. I do have experience of this, was a SEND specialist and have disabled son myself.

I would highly recommend you do not send your SEN child with high need to private school.

If you can, go find a SEND solicitor who will explain the process. The local authority often do this. We had the same exact scenario, in the end we found a school and a nursery agreed to educate my daughter for a year. She started school age five instead and they pay for everything. Her placement is really expensive for them, we had to put in a lot of money initially legally but haven’t had to do anything since.

The issue is - if you send him to private school would the council then take it as he is sorted and take him off the council school list?

Don’t send him privately. School will talk the talk initially to get him in but with SEN like this, state is by far more able to meet needs.

I was also going to say this and also have experience of being chronically ill and this being impacted by having my child at home.

It will get harder and harder to get a more suitable SEN placement as your DC ages as all the places fill up in the early years. You are saying the private school might work for 2-3 years (might not...) but you could then find yourself in a worse position and it could be very upsetting for him.

You need support and need to work hard with SENDIASS, IPSEA etc. join all the amazing Facebook groups supporting children trying to get EHCPs and the right settings etc. and find a good advocate (if you can afford it) to help you navigate this (especially if you have limited energy etc.). You really need to become an expert on the law around this (very sadly).

Time and money spent now getting him in the right setting (which might not be nearby) will both be well spent.

Your LA are talking bollucks. They have to work with you they MUST provide suitable full time education under section 19 of the education act 1996. If a school can't be found they will have to provide education other than at school which should be full time.

Unfortunately OP you will have to appeal, it's like it's just part of the process unfortunately because LAs are so horrific when it comes to send.

Schools can't deny space because 'they're full' they must evidence to tribunal why taking your child would cause the inefficient education of others.

If theres no education space come Sep you can get a solicitor to issue a pre action letter to the council (if you are entitled to legal aid this may be funded). This usually shifts them sharpish.

Unfortunately tribunal is often the only way to get a suitable space for a Sen child. If the local independent school is the only place that can meets and are willing to offer a space, as said above the LA should fund it and you can go to tribunal for this.

They will run rings around you until you start tribunal/legal action. It's what they do in the hope you shuffle off and they save ££££

Get on Ipsea, sossen, coram child law education advice sites and they all have helplines. Use them.

I put in a refuse to issue appeal in November 23 and was given a tribunal date in early Sept 24 so 9 month wait. I then did a SEND7 form to ask for an.earlier date as DD starts year 7 in Sept 24. They've given me June 24 and it could be earlier if it's done "on the papers" (e.g. they just look at evidence). So the tribunal wait could be 6 or 7 months for a change of phase (which yours is too). So basically the tribunal can rule well before your child turns 5 with luck. The tribunal are clear (if bureaucratic) in their communications and seem fair. Parents win well over 90% of appeals.

Don't despair.

I was recommended Talking SENse as an advocate. Much cheaper than a solicitor.

I never use my local sendiass they're as helpful as a chocolate teapot.

Assume everything the LA tells you is a lie.

Will also add that - as another PP says - the wrong setting could lead to school trauma and then you can end up with a child who can't go to any school, ever, at all. We are in this situation and my health condition is consequently taking a downturn due to the unrelenting stress and having no chance to rest etc.

I would be hugely surprised if you were accepted to the local private school.

It's not a lawful reason for the LA not to facilitate it though. When we were going through this process we were told of 2 specialist schools we could look at. LA maintained, the cheapest option for them after mainstream. Neither were appropriate and we're currently going through court to appeal for a place at an independent specialist school. For the LA it's all about money, they're fighting us on this due to the cost despite it being the only school in the county that is appropriate.

95% (I think that may recently have gone up to 98%) of tribunals rule in favour of the child/parent.

Speak to the National Autistic Society education rights service and they will be able to advise on whether the council can pay the fees. I am in Scotland so don’t want to give wrong advice.

I thought I would try and summon the experts. @admission and @prh47bridge

In terms of paying for one not the other, children are very different. Its about addressing each one's need, not about paying equal amounts. One day you might be contributing to your DD's Universities fees. Hopefully DS' as well, obviously but hopefully you get my point. Or helping pay for a wedding for one, but not the other.

No - looks like there might be a few LAs now rated like this :-(

Did you know that if there is a preschool attached to the private school and you child doesn't turn five until '25, you would be able to apply you 30 hours free to the private school fees - until the end of term in which the birthday appears? We were absolutely gobsmacked when we were given the first term almost free, because they take it from the date the school year starts, so if your child turns 5 years old, 3 days after term starts, the hours can be applied to the rest of the term. Not a magic solution or answer to the long-term burden that is school fees.

if you have an EHCP I think the LEA is required to ensure provision, aren’t they? This can involve they paying the fees at a private school or giving the funds to a state school to support your son. I would contact one of the organisations above and find a solicitor/advocate to help you through this process.

A school local to me specialises in Boys with SEN - from dyslexia to ASD, ADHD to sensory issues. Mixed academic ability. It’s a large school of over 500 now and at least 50% are funded by the LEA. One of the organisations above should be able to flag ideal schools in your area with a good reputation for support, making the search easier for you.

Does the private school have any kind of bursary scheme? It might not pay all your fees, but it might be enough to make it feasible.