Woman passively outed for shoplifting and I did nothing?

[Juliesdagger]

Weird one that’s rolling in my mind as I’m wondering if I should have stepped in ☹️
busy well known coffee shop in a supermarket this morning. As I was queuing, a man in front of me said loudly to the lady paying at the till “don’t forget the crisps you’ve got” as he spoke so loudly it was hard not to then hear the rest - she looked confused and said what crisps? I’m just getting my coffee” and again in a loud voice the man said “the crisps you put in your shopping bag” again the woman looked bemused, looked down at her carrier bag and said oh gosh they must have fallen in when I got my phone” (or similar, I didn’t get the exact words) and took them out to be scanned. She looked a bit upset and I heard her apologising to the barista at the till saying they were for her kid’s snack and she couldn’t believe she’d nearly forgotten to pay for them. The man who had called her out then started scoffing loudly saying “oh yeah, that happens to me allllll the time, things just fall into my bag and I forget about them” and smirking and rolling his eyes, clearly insinuating she had stolen them or tried to. The woman just looked clearly flustered and by this time had paid and she left looking like she was going to cry.

I then to my surprise saw the man leave
the queue (despite him being next in line to order) and head for the staff only door so he must work there! And was only waiting in line to see if she paid at the till for the crisps.

it’s been playing on my mind all day. The woman was clearly upset but I would have been too if I’d Been passively accused like that 🤷‍♀️I know you can’t type cast but she was buying an overpriced coffee and pastry, the crisps couldn’t have cost more
than £0.60 extra 🤷‍♀️and she looked well dressed, a bit flustered but not wonder and really just like your
average mum rushing Round supermarket etc so I guess I’m doubting if she was stealing? And I feel bad I didn’t challenge that It felt unprofessional of this man who clearly worked there to passively accuse her?

or am I being naive and she likely was attention to shoplift for a reason I can’t fathom?

Shoplifting has an impact on the price of an item. For the shop to recover the profit on that item, we end up having to pay through increased prices!

Shoplifting is traditionally a sneaky type of theft favoured by those that don't have the stones for more rewarding, higher confrontation crime.

Logically the people who are the best shoplifters don't look like a shoplifter. People think of shoplifters as being homeless, visibly poor, benefits class people. Those people are rubbish shoplifters because everyone is all over them the moment they come in. Our most prolific lifters were all middle aged, sociable/amenable, better dressed women who buy stuff, and even though you know that they're still the ones that really go under the radar

It's a bit different now with steaming but we're not a co-op (brand), we don't stand by and let people steal so that type of crim prefers the type of shop where the staff are just going to leave them to it, which is most chains with non-invested staff

'Kleptomania... (klep-toe-MAY-nee-uh) is a mental health disorder that involves repeatedly being unable to resist urges to steal items that you generally don't really need. Often the items stolen have little value and you could afford to buy them. Kleptomania is rare but can be a serious condition...'

So how would you have intervened ?
She'd put crisps in her bag.. absentmindedly perhaps..and was seen doing so.
The man must have been a store detective and been observing her.
I really don't know how they single out would-be thieves. How do they know who would steal by looking at them ?
Personally. ...going through the menopause I admit to looking dodgy in shops as I start to sweat and get red in the face.. it's unbelievable that I haven't had my collar felt before now

It is rare but being a thieving arsehole is not kleptomania in majority of cases, mostly it's just people with a low moral compass and an enormous sense of entitlement.

You think the police and social services get involved over some crisps lmao- peodophiles can still get rights to their kids so I don’t think they are going to get involved over a packet crisps hahahaha. Seriously wake up lol

He was doing his job.

@Mementomorissons

They were in the coffee shop, not the supermarket so no relevance
She was stealing.

He may know she has form if he works at the store..

There's nothing you could have realistically done, but I totally understand how uncomfortable that was for you to have to witness. The man was being a dick because he had a tiny bit of power to wield, and he was going to wield it for all he was worth! Having been the retail assistant alert to the repeat too-petty-to-prosecute offender, I can see that he may have lacked/lost the self discipline to not make the most of a rare opportunity but it was still unprofessional, so perhaps worth a call/emither/tweet to the customer service folks.

So what would you do if it happened again? 🤔 I saw a well dressed old lady shop lift something like a pair of ear-rings from M&S and I couldn’t believe my eyes so I just stood and watched. I always wished that I’d gently tapped her on the shoulder and said something. I think your lady had a lucky escape and she won’t do it again. It is a ‘thing’. Many years ago there was a BBC play about an affluent shop-lifter
stealing silly things for kicks.

Lol. Sue for verbal abuse.

He did seem to over-react but she was. stealing and may have shoplifted on a regular basis !

Whether she was stealing or not, this man who I pressume is security, acted badly.

I’m not sure she’d be prosecuted over a bag of crisps but you made me laugh and that’s always good🤣

I really fancy a bag of crisps now☺️

rich people steal antony worral tomspson and the chees remeber?

sdont feel too sorry for her being caught out shes probably done it before

I remember watching a local “yummy mummy” being carted off by the police for shoplifting. Her child (must have been four or five) was in a state of blind panic. It was really sad. She was well dressed and well spoken and seemed genuinely incredulous that she was being arrested.

Almost nobody shoplifts a packet of crisps , not even celebrities . Not many stores challenge shoplifting , unless they have security present . As a result , most stores / companies without a security guard suffer shoplifters stealing food , baby formula and essentials to feed their children or pay for their addiction .

Posters on mumsnet seem to be quite out of touch with reality on this issue , and unable to recognise the scale of poverty and severe hunger amongst ordinary people.

As we all know from the myriad of press reports every day , there is no way that the police will pursue petty shoplifting , unless the theft is significant or involves luxury goods / alcohol etc .

Even the security guards have a very hard time getting police to respond , and so can only deal with thieves by banning them .

Almost nobody shoplifts a packet of crisps , not even celebrities

this made me giggle!

Me too. Some people are so out of touch with what happens 🙄

I have ADHD and dyspraxia and your story made me gape lol - common to walk out of the store with loo rolls hanging off the trolley and pain au chocolat rolling around in your bag? What are you, a walking Christmas tree?

😁☺️

I couldn't care less if someone stole a bag of crisps - and I think it was completely wrong of this man to more or less accuse her of stealing.

The only crimes of theft police seem to be interested in are ones where a high value is involved. A recent documentary showed a woman in Liverpoool, who had CCTV footage of a neighbour breaking into her property and stealing items that she valued, being unable to get the police to do anything. But if you have a Rolex watch worth thousands of pounds stolen you will certainly get some police attention.

Sherlock lol