Woman passively outed for shoplifting and I did nothing?

[Juliesdagger]

Weird one that’s rolling in my mind as I’m wondering if I should have stepped in ☹️
busy well known coffee shop in a supermarket this morning. As I was queuing, a man in front of me said loudly to the lady paying at the till “don’t forget the crisps you’ve got” as he spoke so loudly it was hard not to then hear the rest - she looked confused and said what crisps? I’m just getting my coffee” and again in a loud voice the man said “the crisps you put in your shopping bag” again the woman looked bemused, looked down at her carrier bag and said oh gosh they must have fallen in when I got my phone” (or similar, I didn’t get the exact words) and took them out to be scanned. She looked a bit upset and I heard her apologising to the barista at the till saying they were for her kid’s snack and she couldn’t believe she’d nearly forgotten to pay for them. The man who had called her out then started scoffing loudly saying “oh yeah, that happens to me allllll the time, things just fall into my bag and I forget about them” and smirking and rolling his eyes, clearly insinuating she had stolen them or tried to. The woman just looked clearly flustered and by this time had paid and she left looking like she was going to cry.

I then to my surprise saw the man leave
the queue (despite him being next in line to order) and head for the staff only door so he must work there! And was only waiting in line to see if she paid at the till for the crisps.

it’s been playing on my mind all day. The woman was clearly upset but I would have been too if I’d Been passively accused like that 🤷‍♀️I know you can’t type cast but she was buying an overpriced coffee and pastry, the crisps couldn’t have cost more
than £0.60 extra 🤷‍♀️and she looked well dressed, a bit flustered but not wonder and really just like your
average mum rushing Round supermarket etc so I guess I’m doubting if she was stealing? And I feel bad I didn’t challenge that It felt unprofessional of this man who clearly worked there to passively accuse her?

or am I being naive and she likely was attention to shoplift for a reason I can’t fathom?

I tried to steal something from a shop in my early 20s. I felt like I was being really clever and subtle about it but the shop assistant spotted me, confronted me and hauled me up to the till where she made me pay for the item while loudly berating me. It was the most humiliating moment of my life by a long shot and I'm still so ashamed of myself 20 years later but she did me a huge favour because I will never steal again. She didn't call the police either. I can't really explain why I did it but I had the money to buy the item and I don't look particularly shifty. Long story short - anyone can be a thief regardless of appearance or status, and hopefully the man will have shamed the woman into not stealing again.

I'm surprised at the number of posters still giving the would be shoplifter the benefit of the doubt, and suggesting a genuine mistake, when she changed her story about how the packet of crisps got there.

The man didn't deal with the situation professionally, so lost the high moral ground and respect of anyone who saw the way he treated the woman.

I guess at least she won't be back.

I’d hazard a guess that she may be a serial offender. It sounds like the employee was keeping an eye on her.

I don’t think the PP was saying sarcasm was the actual offence. The act of sarcasm was humiliating
It refers back to a PP who noted being humiliated by a member of staff after wrongly being outed in public for stealing resulted in the PP getting financial recommence and an apology.
So clearly the actions of the staff member could fall into this category.
He humiliated her in public and as shoplifting is

• the act of removing items FROM a shop without paying for them he was at that point wrong to do so.

In fact humiliating anyone in public is disgusting !

Exactly. I witnessed Kids shoplifting in Greggs today. The assistant ran after them but didn't catch them. He then came back and said it was a daily occurance! The trouble was a guy was standing in the shop munching on a sausage roll, who said he was an undercover police officer, but he was on his break! He said report it though! Doubt anything could be done.what is going on with the country!

Hopefully by possibly humiliating her, by drawing attention to the theft, it will make her think twice about stealing in the future. Stealing is not a victimless crime, and I get very tired of people thinking it's no big deal, especially if stealing from a business.

I think too many believe they have a right to have whatever they want with no effort on their part
That, along side a complete lack of empathy, means no one cares about anyone other than themselves.

Scary isn’t it.

Lol.

The employee impressed no one. He did portray, as a representative of the store, that people were watched for the least of possible infractions. Under the circumstances, the appropriate manager should warn this employee that his boisterous actions may have cost the store a customer and given people a low opinion of the way the store is run.

Presumably the reminder to pay before leaving was a more cost effective tactic than watching her leave without paying and then trying to get a prosecution for theft.

She humiliated herself.

Honestly, who needs so-called customers who steal?

I have a high opinion of stores who try to stop this rot.

Zero tolerance is to be applauded.

Social services would not take children away over this - it doesn't meet the threshold criteria for significant harm.

If she was a struggling Mother unable to provide basic food for her child, and was caught stealing they MAY get involved to ensure that the Mother was receiving the correct support (financially, offering food bank referrals, classes on basic nutrition) if the Police chose to share this information.

People's views of social services are so skewed, it is actually really difficult to remove a child from severely dangerous situation.

I would presume there is a difference in stealing bread to feed starving children and stealing a mascara

Yes made up examples

Speak for yourself he impressed me

People have a low opinion of stores who try and prevent shoplifters and so keep prices down.
Really?

Lots of people have tried to justify the crisps falling into the bag.

However I would be interested if any one could justify
"What crisps?"
"They fell in my bag"
"Oh I meant to pay for them"

Its these comments that suggest she is a shoplifter.

Last week I stood in the petrol station queue with a bottle of wine and a big bag of crisps.
The cashier said any petrol but had a strong accent so I didn't hear her so I said no.
She said, "are you sure?". I then said "what?"and suddenly realised.
I thanked her.
Menopause!

menopause impacts your hearing?

I know where you’re coming from - I was in a well known supermarket which had escalators leading downstairs to the carpark, right in front of the very busy entrance. I cam out after shopping and the security guard pounced on the woman in front of me who was carrying 2 heavy looking bags full of shopping and demanded she empty the contents right there and then in a loud voice and in full view of the people streaming in the doors and using the escalators. She was obviously mortified and embarrassed. He found nothing and I helped her repack, made sure she was ok and then asked him why he didn’t have the respect to do what he did more privately and away from other shoppers, obviously he had a job to do but there are ways of doing it with common decency and respect!

So how did he respond?

OP you would see a different side to this if it were your ship. The woman is a thief, vert likely known to them.

Think about it, it'd unlikely something would fall in your bag, but if it did it'd even less likely it would be something you would want to then buy.

When my son was young , he picked up a babies hat of a stand in a clothes shop , I didn't realise till I returned home! Also I've walked about a mile from a shop and then realised I had a umbrella hooked on my shoulder bag! Strange things do happen sometimes 🤔

I once worked in a small train station store that sold accessories when I was around 19. A young man of about a similar age to what I was then tried to stuff boxer shorts under his top right in front of me. I told him to please put it back and he huffed and puffed and slammed them on the counter and marched out saying he wasn’t going to come back again 😂 a bit off topic but the memory always makes me chuckle the way he flounced off as if he was hard done by.

I don’t know what race this person is but I do know as a POC myself and others have been falsely and rudely accused of shoplifting, so this is nothing - this woman evidently was or if it was genuinely an accident (doubtful based on her confused excuses) it’s still understandable why the employee thought it was attempted shoplifted Since she had an unpaid item in her bag.

Additionally I see more vigorous defence of this middle class looking woman (I accept we don’t know her race but I’m going to assume white or it would’ve been mentioned probably) who was caught red handed, than I did than on the thread for the black woman and her child who were wrongly accused of not having a bus ticket and manhandled by the police.