Woman passively outed for shoplifting and I did nothing?

[Juliesdagger]

Weird one that’s rolling in my mind as I’m wondering if I should have stepped in ☹️
busy well known coffee shop in a supermarket this morning. As I was queuing, a man in front of me said loudly to the lady paying at the till “don’t forget the crisps you’ve got” as he spoke so loudly it was hard not to then hear the rest - she looked confused and said what crisps? I’m just getting my coffee” and again in a loud voice the man said “the crisps you put in your shopping bag” again the woman looked bemused, looked down at her carrier bag and said oh gosh they must have fallen in when I got my phone” (or similar, I didn’t get the exact words) and took them out to be scanned. She looked a bit upset and I heard her apologising to the barista at the till saying they were for her kid’s snack and she couldn’t believe she’d nearly forgotten to pay for them. The man who had called her out then started scoffing loudly saying “oh yeah, that happens to me allllll the time, things just fall into my bag and I forget about them” and smirking and rolling his eyes, clearly insinuating she had stolen them or tried to. The woman just looked clearly flustered and by this time had paid and she left looking like she was going to cry.

I then to my surprise saw the man leave
the queue (despite him being next in line to order) and head for the staff only door so he must work there! And was only waiting in line to see if she paid at the till for the crisps.

it’s been playing on my mind all day. The woman was clearly upset but I would have been too if I’d Been passively accused like that 🤷‍♀️I know you can’t type cast but she was buying an overpriced coffee and pastry, the crisps couldn’t have cost more
than £0.60 extra 🤷‍♀️and she looked well dressed, a bit flustered but not wonder and really just like your
average mum rushing Round supermarket etc so I guess I’m doubting if she was stealing? And I feel bad I didn’t challenge that It felt unprofessional of this man who clearly worked there to passively accuse her?

or am I being naive and she likely was attention to shoplift for a reason I can’t fathom?

🤣

He reminded her to pay.

Was sarcastic afterwards but not abusive.

The sympathy that the general public seems to have for these people is fucking baffling.

She tried to steal something, he stopped her, quite charitably, she was embarrassed because she is a sneaky thief and got pulled up on it

Very good. An excellent piece of satire.

New category of abuse: be sarcastic to thieves...
Fucking hell.

Shameful, absolutely shameful to dilute something as serious as abuse to this

He reminded her to pay.

He then was rude but not abusive. What he said would never win or get to court as abusive.

He knew she had the crisps in her bag which meant he probably saw her. At least one poster suggested she could sue him for abuse. That's the joke.

What an odd post. On what grounds do you believe she could sue?

I presume that you're legally qualified given that you're making this statement so confidently, so please could you clarify exactly what "categories of abuse" it falls under when a shop worker reminds a customer to pay for an item that they have put in their bag?

And you're right, the lady did not commit any crime because the shop worker reminded her to pay. If he had not have done so, it is reasonable to assume that she would have walked away with the crisps in her bag without paying...aka stealing.

We can assume all we like but in law this is irrelevant she had not committed any crime, he however did.

What crime has he committed exactly? Asking if she was going to pay for something isn't a crime. He hasn't actually accused her of stealing.

This.

He prevented her from committing a crime by reminding her to pay.

She'd lose her money if she sued. Where on earth did the other poster gain her 'legal knowledge ' its laughable.

Legally outing, loudly in public comes within the class of abuse if it causes emotional harm, ( OP said she seemed upset)
there are several other categories aswel but one is enough.

She may have been going to take the item but legally she hadn’t taken it as she was still in the coffee shop so guilty of nothing.

People can’t do this to others, we can’t take the law into our own hands in this way and be abusive. If this person works in the shop he should know this.

We don’t do witch trials and burning anymore. We’ve learnt from the mistakes of our past how mob rule is wrong.

If she commits a crime she should have been approached once she has committed it, not before, on the premise that ‘oh well, she looks like she’s going to steal that’.

If she’s a serial thief as some have assumed on here, then yes I would let her be caught out and get her arrested.

Ffs for 60p I wouldn't have humiliated somebody like that. I'm probably on my own but think the guy sounds like an arse and I would've told him so

The police would have done nothing over a 60p bag of crisps

Noones burning her at the stake, there was no mob rule, he reminded her to pay. Others didn't join in. She located item in her bag and paid.

There's no way she would sue.

I'm actually lmfao that people think the police would have done anything or even got involved over a pocket of crisps. Half the time they don't respond to burglaries yet you expect them to come rushing out and arrest somebody over a packet of crisps lol

Probably why the staff member just reminded her to pay. She did. He then became sarcastic when she said they must have fallen in, she forgotten etc. He probably hears things like that all the time.

I wonder if she looked differently if people would be so forgiving.

Agree but we are in the minority here
Humiliation is abusive behaviour.

For all you know she's a regular shoplifter and he's seen her acting suspicious before.
60p crisps is not much but if you go there for a coffee everyday and swipe a bag of them that quickly adds up.
So yes he is in the right for pointing out her behaviour, they must have fallen into my bag sounds like a weak excuse to be honest.

The mob rule, burning at the stake was a reference to the majority comments on here.
Not what happened in the shop.

You don't seem to understand the concept of abuse.

Causing someone mild upset or embarrassment by publicly pointing out that they are doing something wrong might not be the kindest thing to do, but it is not a crime.

One sarcastic comment doesn't constitute a witch trial or mob rule.

Everyone is saint and forgiving until it's your stuff being stolen. Just remember that

What, people having the opinion that it's fair to call out shoplifters for stealing somehow constitutes mob rule?

It is.
I think you’d be amazed what is classed these days as abuse.
From what the OP has stated his actions fall well within the bar.
Yes I’m qualified to say so

So how much would someone be allowed to steal before you decided that they shouldn't be allowed to get away with it?

60p is obviously fair game as far as you're concerned. What about £6? £60? £600?

If it is about the value of the stolen items rather than the principle that stealing is fundamentally wrong, I'm interested to know where you would draw the line.

How a packet of crisps ‘accidentally’ fall into someone’s bag without them noticingI have no idea. But this guy knew the crisps were in her bag so he clearly saw her put them in there - otherwise he'd have most likely quietly said excuse me, a bag of crisps has fallen off the shelf into your bag.

@Wingham agree with you and all over 60p ffs

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves people stealing from massive multi million pound companies is not Blaine thing that bothers me in the slightest tbh I've got other things to worry about. However much they steal there is no need for them to be humiliated in public when caught!