Woman passively outed for shoplifting and I did nothing?

[Juliesdagger]

Weird one that’s rolling in my mind as I’m wondering if I should have stepped in ☹️
busy well known coffee shop in a supermarket this morning. As I was queuing, a man in front of me said loudly to the lady paying at the till “don’t forget the crisps you’ve got” as he spoke so loudly it was hard not to then hear the rest - she looked confused and said what crisps? I’m just getting my coffee” and again in a loud voice the man said “the crisps you put in your shopping bag” again the woman looked bemused, looked down at her carrier bag and said oh gosh they must have fallen in when I got my phone” (or similar, I didn’t get the exact words) and took them out to be scanned. She looked a bit upset and I heard her apologising to the barista at the till saying they were for her kid’s snack and she couldn’t believe she’d nearly forgotten to pay for them. The man who had called her out then started scoffing loudly saying “oh yeah, that happens to me allllll the time, things just fall into my bag and I forget about them” and smirking and rolling his eyes, clearly insinuating she had stolen them or tried to. The woman just looked clearly flustered and by this time had paid and she left looking like she was going to cry.

I then to my surprise saw the man leave
the queue (despite him being next in line to order) and head for the staff only door so he must work there! And was only waiting in line to see if she paid at the till for the crisps.

it’s been playing on my mind all day. The woman was clearly upset but I would have been too if I’d Been passively accused like that 🤷‍♀️I know you can’t type cast but she was buying an overpriced coffee and pastry, the crisps couldn’t have cost more
than £0.60 extra 🤷‍♀️and she looked well dressed, a bit flustered but not wonder and really just like your
average mum rushing Round supermarket etc so I guess I’m doubting if she was stealing? And I feel bad I didn’t challenge that It felt unprofessional of this man who clearly worked there to passively accuse her?

or am I being naive and she likely was attention to shoplift for a reason I can’t fathom?

Thief's gonna thieve.

At least something's going right in her life for her to be able to afford overpriced coffee!

" the way he reacted was unnecessary."

Really? Giving her the chance to pay for it? I'd say that was a nice way to react.

Sued for what?. A member if staff telling her to pay for crisps she hid in her bag?

Me too. He intervened very actively, nothing about this is passive

Big black teenage chav in a hoodie nicking crisps. Would you have called the employee a cunt too?

This tells me I need to dress nicer so I can get away with things 😁

If she was innocent she’ll be more careful next time and if she meant to do it, she won’t do it again in that shop.

I imagine shoplifting is absolutely rife at the moment and shop staff must to absolutely sick of it.

Maybe she was shoplifting, maybe she wasn't. It is pretty easy done to accidentally forget to pay for something.

Either way, the guy was a twat. There are ways to deal with things that don't involve completely humiliating someone.

What now? She caused the scene. And calling someone a cunt for confronting a shoplifter when it’s likely their job, is really not a good look.

But if you accidentally forget to pay for something you don't claim that it fell into your bag when you took your phone out?
And if you weren't intending to buy/take the item then you would put it back, not go on and pay for it ...

It possibly wasn't her first time doing it. Maybe they had seen her before and wanted to catch her.

I suspect from my experience in retail that she’s a well known shop lifter and they wanted to catch her in the act.

It’s all well and good to say big companies can afford it, but by the sounds of it so could she. It’s also often the employees on minimum wage who are penalised for unusually high theft rates. He could have been far more unkind by waiting for her to actually steal it and then calling the police.

She’s either a well known shoplifter and he was watching for her, or he literally just happened to have seen her try to steal them as he said, deliberately put them in her bag.

He was clearly plain clothes security, and the fact he then headed into the staff only area, rather than into the shop, to continue his job, makes me also think they were watching for her and he came out deliberately to stop her.

he obviously was very certain she’s a thief, and I’d assume he was right. She may have robbed in the supermarket itself before and they were watching for her.

So someone had seen her place them in her bag and security was alerted. He followed to see if she offered them up to be scanned and 'reminded' her when she didn't. I strongly suspect she is known to the store. They may have been more discreet on other occasions, who knows? She fucked up with her excuses and showed herself up. Op didn't realise it was a member of staff and not a random customer until they went through the staff door.
It's a common thing in retail as others have said. Hopefully she'll not try it again or even choose not to shop there again, knowing they are on to her. Security teams do share photos of 'repeat offenders'. You will know her too. It's a modern version of being put in the stocks I guess ;)
Perhaps if you see her elsewhere you'll make sure your bag is zipped up!

Yeh she was probably stealing. He was doing his job by calling her out and in fact she is lucky he decided not to wait till she was leaving then collar her call the police & have her prosecuted. I do agree though he could have said it quietly to her at the til but I suppose shoplifting is so rife now they have to take a tough stance & put other people off from doing it. And like Pps say- all walks of life shop lift. It’s not always about them saving cash.
Dont feel bad OP it wasn’t your place to intervene security just doing their job.

Can’t think of a better reason for stealing than having starving children

exactly this. None of us know whether she was deliberately stealing though but I'd wager a guess that if she were a 6'4 rugby player man built like a brick shithouse he wouldn't have confronted 'him', either at all or at the very least not making sly little comments.

Also laughing at the poster suggesting the woman was lucky the police weren't called. For a 60p bag of crisps?

I’m not sure what you think you should have done. Defended a likely shoplifter for being called out on an attempt? Makes no sense unless you condone theft? Personally I think stealing isn’t a very nice thing to do from anyone or anywhere!

I think the guy did the right thing. I expect the whole point was to shame her into not doing it then and hopefully not doing it again. What’s the problem?

The irony! 🤣

His loitering suggests she was known to them, no?

I think the well dressed thing is relevant because we sometimes think that people steal because they have literally run out of money and need food, rather than for other reasons. The thought is that a well dressed person is unlikely to be going hungry, so why would they steal?
But people do it first loads of reasons - thrill seeking, mental health issues, because they are basic criminals. Someone nicking a bag of crisps is likely to be in the first 2 categories, whereas someone taking armfuls of trainers, the latter.

I'm stunned that people are calling this man a dick, a cunt, a bastard, etc. What the fuck? He asked a shoplifter to pay for the crisps she stole! I've never shoplifted in my life, but if I did so and got caught, I'd know any embarrassment I felt would be 100% my own fault. It wouldn't even enter my head to be angry at the staff member who called me out!

He works there. Of course it was his place to ask whether a woman intended to pay for the crisps she had put in her bag.

Technically the only person committing an offence was the man and so I would have said something or perhaps make a complaint about his actions if, as it seems, he is an employee.
The lady would be well within her legal rights to sue for verbal abuse.
His actions fall under several categories of abuse so legally the lady is well within her rights.

We can assume all we like but in law this is irrelevant she had not committed any crime, he however did.

Exactly!!! Feel like I’m in some sort of parallel universe 🤣 maybe if she doesn’t want to be embarrassed by being called out for being a petty thief, she could try not thieving?! 🤦🏼‍♀️