Woman passively outed for shoplifting and I did nothing?

[Juliesdagger]

Weird one that’s rolling in my mind as I’m wondering if I should have stepped in ☹️
busy well known coffee shop in a supermarket this morning. As I was queuing, a man in front of me said loudly to the lady paying at the till “don’t forget the crisps you’ve got” as he spoke so loudly it was hard not to then hear the rest - she looked confused and said what crisps? I’m just getting my coffee” and again in a loud voice the man said “the crisps you put in your shopping bag” again the woman looked bemused, looked down at her carrier bag and said oh gosh they must have fallen in when I got my phone” (or similar, I didn’t get the exact words) and took them out to be scanned. She looked a bit upset and I heard her apologising to the barista at the till saying they were for her kid’s snack and she couldn’t believe she’d nearly forgotten to pay for them. The man who had called her out then started scoffing loudly saying “oh yeah, that happens to me allllll the time, things just fall into my bag and I forget about them” and smirking and rolling his eyes, clearly insinuating she had stolen them or tried to. The woman just looked clearly flustered and by this time had paid and she left looking like she was going to cry.

I then to my surprise saw the man leave
the queue (despite him being next in line to order) and head for the staff only door so he must work there! And was only waiting in line to see if she paid at the till for the crisps.

it’s been playing on my mind all day. The woman was clearly upset but I would have been too if I’d Been passively accused like that 🤷‍♀️I know you can’t type cast but she was buying an overpriced coffee and pastry, the crisps couldn’t have cost more
than £0.60 extra 🤷‍♀️and she looked well dressed, a bit flustered but not wonder and really just like your
average mum rushing Round supermarket etc so I guess I’m doubting if she was stealing? And I feel bad I didn’t challenge that It felt unprofessional of this man who clearly worked there to passively accuse her?

or am I being naive and she likely was attention to shoplift for a reason I can’t fathom?

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves and I didn't say it was fair game I said she should t have been humiliated in front of everybody over it

OK. As you're qualified, you'll no doubt be able to point us to some relevant cases where similar incidents have resulted in criminal prosecutions. And also some cases where individuals have successfully sued for damages due to the emotional harm caused.

I am waiting to be amazed.

This @Wingham

Similar case with sarcastic comments please?

I'll pop the kettle on whilst waiting

Surely you humiliate yourself by stealing in the first place? Shops are public places, it's obviously going to be embarrassing if you're caught. The solution is not to steal.

Legally outing, loudly in public comes within the class of abuse if it causes emotional harm

He asked whether she was going to pay for the crisps. How is that "outing"? Or did you mean shouting?did he shout?

A little shame for knowingly doing the wrong thing is no bad thing.

The alternative was calling the police, and they do come. I saw them in M&S last week when a shoplifter had been caught.

She got away with it lightly and hopefully the embarrassment will mean that she won't do it again

So how do you catch someone in public without humiliating them?

The best I could think of was that he could have waited until she'd left the shop and at that point quietly pointed out she was stealing and requested that she came back into the shop.
Still pretty humiliating.

Why not?

Don’t want to be humiliated, don’t steal

It’s not hard.

I kinda get the annoyance people have when they're stopped or followed by security guards suspecting them of shop lifting, but, to object when someone has been caught in the act because they were embarrassed is just 🤦. Don't wanna be embarrassed, don't shop lift.

Shoplifting increases the prices for everyone and as shops try to cover that they reduce staff (and thus the service everyone is fond of moaning about) and increase prices among other things.

Don't even know why security guards exist, don't catch shoplifters and they're at fault, catch shoplifters and the poor darlings get embarrassed, still at fault.

Exactly.

Arguably, reminding her to pay was probably less humiliating than confronting her after she had actually stolen the item. It gave her the opportunity to correct her behaviour.

Would it have been less humiliating if he had left her to steal and then got one of the uniformed security guards to approach her about the fact that she had shoplifted?

This site is fucking mental 😂😂😂

What intervention on your part do you think was required?!
Absolutely none of your business, and it’s frankly bizarre that you feel your input was necessary.

I thought this too. If she is indeed prolific I.e loss prevention already has eyes on her, then she got off lightly indeed.

Just shows that on MN the stereotypes of your 'typical' shoplifter are...as you would expect .

If it was a man would you have felt this much sympathy op? I'm certain she was stealing and how stupid are you that you didn't notice a whole bag of crisps fall into your bag? The line about her child's snacks was so obvious too. She was called out, what do you want to complain about?

There's also the chance she would have been sentenced to death and executed by firing squad, leaving her children motherless

I once picked up a drink and put it in my bag... got to the check out and genuinely couldn't think what I was doing there. Walked out of the shop only to remember I had absentmindedly put the drink in my bag!
Weird stuff happens when you have a million things in your head all the time...

So did you go back and pay for it?

@Wingham, have you got those cases to hand yet?

Was also waiting.

I had a quick search and he didn't shout, swear. He was disbelieving of her excuses but that's not abusive. Who wouldn't eye roll.

@Wingham won't be back with an actual case. Imagine being advised to waste money on an 'abuse' case for being reminded to pay for goods, making up an excuse and receiving a sarcastic reply. 🙃 🤣

Of course you are 😂

Suggest looking at the CPS verbal abuse and harassment section. Not sure if that’s what Wingham was referring to but it’s what keeps popping up when I look it up.
Doubt Wingham will be back as it doesn’t look like cases are published for public reference so hardly going to post here I’m guessing, if they are a lawyer.

unless there’s stuff in the newspapers I suppose but it isn’t really newspaper worthy.

Don’t know if you can sue, but you can for a lot of things these days as more recently people take offence and get very upset by lots of comments and the law has been changing. So I wouldn’t be surprised at all.
Ive noticed whilst googling a lot of lawyers deal with this sort of stuff.
Very interesting.

What do you think his boss would say? They'd probably be glad he did his job.

Just wondering now if this is a Human Rights issue re: humiliation?
I’m Enjoying the research though
but back to work me thinks 🫤

To quote the OP 'The' man said ''don't forget the crisps"' pure abuse that, and disgusting customer service skills to boot, he should be sacked