To think she should look for work?

[Daisydoodo]

my sister is on the migration from tax credits to universal credit. Her husband works and earns around £25k a year and does not aspire to earn anymore she has 6 children 3 over 16 and 3 5-16years she was complaining today that she may be expected to start looking for work when she migrates and how she thinks it’s unfair as she is only just getting her life back now the 5yo is in full time school. AIBU to tell her to get a grip and get a job? I feel awful for saying it but it’s getting on my nerves as I was expected to return after 6 months mat leave. Should the UC system force her to look for work

It's a lifestyle choice. That you should think how you'll fund before having them.

Look how easily people are frothing at the mouth. I also wouldn't presume she chose to have six children. Some are in abusive relationships.

What if you could fund them and then circumstances change? Should we send them back?

Tbf after 6 kids I need a few months to recover before I went to work!

That's not what this means. Forget about being carers, etc.

More than half of people take more from the system than they put in!

"society needs more children to generate taxes to raise funding fot public services..particularly as we're out of the EU." is absolutely the opposite of the reality since most people take more out than they generate.

Yep, she's lazy and needs to get her arse back to work now that her youngest is 5! She'll be expected to anyway on UC. I don't understand her saying "just getting my life back" part of getting your life back is the ability to go back to work and do something for yourself!

Yep! I'll be going back with a 14yo, 10yo and a 10 month old!

How the hell have they we afforded their 6 kids.

Corrected it for you...

Why?

As long as her partner earns over the couple AET she won't be pushed very much. She can just go through the motions.

Well, what would she want to do with her life now she got it back? Does she have any hobbies or interests that she wants to pursue? It's one thing to celebrate the life when you are itching to get a project going, and completely different if you want to sit in the house watching TV while kids are at school. If it is the latter, I think she will soon find out that her mood suffers a great deal and she feels without purpose (which more often than not would result in them having another child to fill the gap).
Having said that, people who have been out of work for a long period of time usually find it near impossible to return to the workforce. Lack of qualifications, experience and poor self esteem would mean that they either get stuck at the application process or end up with menial and uninspiring jobs which doesn't give them a sense of purpose anyway. So instead of telling her to "bloody get a job", you could have a conversation about why she finds the prospect will be taking away from her quality of life, signpost her to organisations supporting people who are NEET or help her identify what her interests are and encourage her to apply for courses.

What makes you think that? Why when people object to something are we frothing...... look at you frothing because we don't like funding people's ridiculous choices

I presume I'm funding your children as well?

3 children are over 16, surely they want mum to do the pick up / drop off at school. Arrange playdates and read them books at bedtime ...
And the other 3 under 16 still in nappies and attending p/t nursery.
How can she possibly go to work?

This is a deliberately goady post. The sister will not be allowed to receive UC unless she looks for work.

Yanbu
"Getting her life back" includes getting the dignity of being self-sufficient through work.
But it's not really any of your business. Grey rock her complaints, you aren't responsible for her plight or her attitude to it.

I'm not worried about her job giving her a sense of purpose, just earn some money and stop claiming benefits, when you can work.

Get a job, then worry about progression.

Read my post above. She will.

I think there’s far too little information here to make any judgement. I also think those of us in job roles that are suited to us and have really enjoyable elements often forget the slog of working in a repetitive low paid job - especially if that person feels they can’t move up at some point to one that they prefer. Even with no other factors, she may feel she hasn’t worked in so long (or at all) and has no real concept of what she needs to do, what roles would be appropriate etc. Yes, she’ll get some guidance, but it’s intimidating. Equally, lots of people describe ‘getting their life back’ after their children join school. It’s not the phrase I’d use really, but it’s not unheard of. After 16y of parenting, it’s not a surprise she’s disappointed at a change that might not feel positive. I’d you’d planned some things you’d like to do and then been told you had to get a job in customer service, it probably wouldn’t be something you’d be over the moon about.

I believe Macdonalds, as a pp suggested, offers access to further training too. So, it is a good shout if she can find something she wants to do.

As I got pregnant through IVF on the NHS you did. Thanks. 👍

I also think this post isn't true but if it is then please reassure her that as her husband earns over the earnings threshold she likely won't be pushed much to look for work. The requirements to look for work on UC and the amounts you need to earn between you to be left alone remain very low, as have the number of hours that a couple have been required to work on tax credits for the past 20+ years. As her kids get older and drop off the claim, she will get less and less from Uc and maybe that will be an incentive to look for work.

It as many as the anti dog ones and they don't cost the tax payer.... just an observation.

I'm not anti benefits, I'm anti work shy people getting too much of the pot.... six children you can't afford, is far too many!

I wonder if her thinking is that once the kids are older they will support her 6 kids is a lot of earning potential what a life!!

You are not but she quite possibly is. Telling someone without experience in the workforce to get a job is very much akin to telling a depressed person to "just cheer up". It's not helpful.
Yes, I appreciate she is "draining public resources" but, to be perfectly honest, statutory services do not employ people who are aware of the complexities of getting people back to work. The system is punitive rather than supportive. I work with people with chronic conditions and I am yet to meet a single person who doesn't want to work. The reality is that they cannot without appropriate support in place. Jobcentre used to be great at training and coaching, now they are more concerned with sanctions. The complex benefits system also means that people are less likely to take up ad hock job opportunities.
There are/were some programmes run by occupational therapists but these are far and few between and funding is virtually non-existent.
As much as it angers you, people need support in getting back to work. And the support isn't there (nor is it likely to appear given the public attitudes).

Being a SAHP is lazy?