I separated from my childrens father 2 years ago after an emotionally abusive relationship for 6 years. I have 2 children ds(7) and dd(5) and they go to their dads every other weekend and the Wednesday overnight on the alternative week. He does not pick them up from school or drop them off as he says he works (so do I) and does not pay any child maintanance (ongoing issue with cms) and will not even provide clothing etc when they are at his.
I am not able to communicate with him about anything because he will shut down any concerns or call me manipulative or abusive. I have tried to keep contact going for the sake of the children, my ds especially struggled with their dad leaving and I think to an extent blamed me (their dad uses very self pitying language around them and is not tactful in the slightest). I have gotten to the point where I am not able to ignore the treatment of them anymore. This last weekend my dd had a headache for the last few days before and had been off school. I sent her over with a high temperature and asked if I could call on the Saturday to check if she was okay. He said at the time but on the day ignored my call which I expected.
when they came back they had been wearing the same clothes all weekend, had not brushed their teeth and dd’s hair was matted, this is not the first time that it’s happened but She was boiling hot and i asked her If she had had calpol which she said she hadn’t over the weekend. Ds said that their dad had been asleep the entire weekend in his bedroom leaving them to their own devices and waking up to give them meals. I texted their dad to say that they need to have their basic needs met if they are to go to his house which he accused me of lying. I’m not sure how to go about fixing this situation as I’m in no two minds that it’s neglect and I don’t feel safe sending them to be perfectly honest. Does anyone have any advice as to how to go about doing it.