To take my child to a therapist

[gelatodipistacchio]

She's 7 and lives with me most of the time. She spends Wednesdays and EOW with her father, whom I left due to emotional abuse.

She hates her father (she says this) and constantly tells me that he is mean to her. She refuses to explain in more detail. She is always upset before and after seeing him.

I took her to a child counselor before and she refused to engage. She is very intelligent and actively resists bringing any new adults into her fold.

Recently I have taken some recordings of us talking when she has started to go on about her dad.

Is it worthwhile trying to get her to a therapist? Or would a therapist talk to me and find these videos useful?

Tandora - I wrote more than one post. My subsequent post/s respond to your points

@Woush

What parents in similar situations often don't appreciate is that their children will often be entirely open and candid with me (or colleagues) and be very clear that they cannot say what they have told me, to Mum/Dad. These children know how devestated Mum/Dad will be with their own truth, so they say to each parent what the child think the parent wants to hear.

The school has told me that my daughter won't open up in general. She refuses to talk to them about her feelings.

Her father is also not under any impression that she is unhappy with me (which would have him licking his chops - he constantly writes me lengthy emails about how terrible I am, presenting even the most benign information as an indictment of my character).

So with respect, I don't think that I am delusional. (Though it is possible that things there aren't quite as bad as she says)

The thing is I never said a single word to the court welfare officer. I was 10 at the time. I remember playing games and that’s it. From that she not only stopped him ever seeing me again but also his entire family and helped us move to a safe location hundreds of miles away.

you’re not going to be a bad mum by telling him to take you to court. Then at court you can say your dd has been saying these things and you’ve been really concerned. Engage with cafcass and mediation if offered, say you’re happy for contact to be supervised and a third party involved for handover. You’re not saying you don’t want her to have any contact, you’re saying you’re concerned because of what she’s said and want to act in her best interests to make sure nothing untoward is going on.

If there’s not a court order in place why not get one in place that protects dd with supervised contact

@Chichimcgee thanks for sharing your story. I am sorry that you went through that.

I sincerely believe that my ex doesn't commit any physical or sexual abuse. I think that it's all emotional. Is it correct to assume that you were being subjected to different kinds of abuse and that your mum would have clued the court officer in on that?

Just tried to edit my post but it looks like I can't. Just wanted to also say @Chichimcgee that I am so glad that you got out of that situation.

Ex is now pushing really hard for extra time. Worried he will take me to court.

@gelatodipistacchio any update on your situation? Have you gone to Family Court?