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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don’t like my daughter’s homemade tattoos

81 replies

strugglingsingle · 21/01/2024 20:12

My DD (19) has a substantial amount of small tattoos that she has been collecting over the past SEVEN YEARS. Before you slate me for being a bad mother, I have NEVER taken her to a tattoo shop, nor have I taken her to any backalley hooligan tattoo artists who work on underage children. Instead, DD has been doing these tattoos herself using sewing needles and pen ink without my knowledge (for first few years) or permission.

I am not against tattoos in general on 18/19 year olds, but since DD did these herself, they are awful. Not to insult her, but she has zero artistic skill which has left her with illustrations similar to what a toddler might scribble on the wall. I am of course exaggerating but these are not professional level tattoos by any means and I fear that she will regret having them permanently on her body VERY SOON.

I expressed this fear to her this afternoon and the conversation ended in a screaming match. I was only trying to persuade her into ending this little hobby but she told me she had no plans in doing that as she is just trying to express herself creatively and has no funds to spend on professional. AIBU?

(PS. When DH and I first discovered these tattoos, we took her to GP and asked about potential ink poisoning. GP said she was fine but never to tattoo herself again, which obviously she didn’t listen to.)

OP posts:
ittakes2 · 22/01/2024 16:48

FuckOffTom · 22/01/2024 07:54

Self harm? Really? OR maybe the OP does actually know her daughter quite well and if she says it isn’t self harm, then it isn’t.
Sounds to me like she is just rebelling. We all did it in one way or another and there are far worse ways to rebel than this (yes, I understand that lack of hygiene could cause medical issues etc)

OP has your daughter expressed an interest in becoming a tattoo artist herself? Might be a good job choice for her and she could also get hers covered up (if she wants to, of course)

Unless OP is an appropriate mental health professional she does not have the training to decide if it is self-harm or not.
OP has asked for people's advice and overwhelming people have encouraged OP to investigate if it is linked to self-harm or a way of dealing with something rather than just rebelling.

Notthatcatagain · 22/01/2024 17:01

Plain ink tattoos are very easy to remove with a laser, there are lots of clinics that do it and a few professional tattooists also. Just make sure that she has a good 6 months between treatments for a proper fade. She may only need 2 or 3 sessions

Ellysetta · 22/01/2024 17:05

Hankunamatata · 21/01/2024 20:49

I'd pay to get her a proper tattoo in a reputable studio. Perhaps if she sees what can be achieved art work on her body it might persuade her to at least enrol on a course to do them properly

If she was still a child I would help pay for a better tattoo, but she’s 19 and has just been screaming at her mum. She can pay to remove her own dud tattoos…

catelynjane · 22/01/2024 17:08

Self harm? Really? OR maybe the OP does actually know her daughter quite well and if she says it isn’t self harm, then it isn’t.

Unless OP is a medical professional, it's not her place to decide whether something is a form of self-harm or not.

FuckOffTom · 22/01/2024 17:20

catelynjane · 22/01/2024 17:08

Self harm? Really? OR maybe the OP does actually know her daughter quite well and if she says it isn’t self harm, then it isn’t.

Unless OP is a medical professional, it's not her place to decide whether something is a form of self-harm or not.

True…. However, seeing as nobody here actually even knows her, let alone are qualified medical professionals, I am not sure it’s their place to suggest that it IS self harm.

SheSaidHummingbird · 22/01/2024 17:30

strugglingsingle · 22/01/2024 04:00

If she doesn’t see it as self harm, it’s not self harm. Self harm is done with intention.

Not the case, speaking from much experience. There are many forms.

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