Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BLOODY HUSBAND HAS BOOKED HOLIDAY

85 replies

hifi · 19/03/2008 14:07

dd starts school in sept, we normally go away for 3 weeks at xmas as its easy for dh to be off, he wanted to go away for 5 weeks this year. this was fine as we were going to keep dd off school for a year, she has now got into a fab school so couldn't turn the school down.
we spoke about the holiday and i said we would now have to go around when she is off at xmas,lots of huffing and puffing from dh about its the best time for him to have off. i have tried to explain to him that we have to work around term times now.

he has just called,all very up beat and said he has just booked the flights for 3 weeks off, meaning she will have to miss a week before xmas hols, im fuming.
aibu in thinking this is totally selfish, he says it doesnt matter as his mate says its only her first year and it doesnt matter.
do i tell school or feign illness?

OP posts:
moondog · 19/03/2008 14:10

It doesn't matter.She's only small.Most schools are ok about anything up to 2 weeks a year.
Plenty of time fro school in years to come.Enjoy being together. Where are you off to?

lilyloo · 19/03/2008 14:10

No don't think your being unreasonable. You had already spoken about this so it was completely out of order imo to go behind your back.
From a school point of view i would tell them. Also wouldn't worry too much as that time of year it's usually winding down anyway with kids doing lot's of crafts etc. Although you may miss the school nativity / xmas play ?

Original poster
hifi · 19/03/2008 14:11

phew moondog, you dont think they will go crazy? we are off to Thailand.

OP posts:
3NAB · 19/03/2008 14:12

It does matter.

Reception is important and it shows complete disregard for school rules.

Not all school will allow the time off and you will have to come up with something convincing for your child to be ill for 2 weeks, then you will have to tell them to lie as they won't be able to talk about what they did for those 2 weeks.

There are loads of thread on this and you will get loads of different opinions.

Original poster
hifi · 19/03/2008 14:12

lilyloo, am pissed off hes just done it, totally taken out of my hands. do really want to go but didnt want it to affect dd too much.

OP posts:
Joolyjoolyjoo · 19/03/2008 14:14

I am !! I wish DH would listen to me when I say I need a holiday, never mind go out and book one!! I can see your point, though, about him disregarding your opinion when it comes to school- that would annoy me a bit, but the thought of a holiday would mollify me somewhat!! (not had one in 4yrs! Sigh!)

moondog · 19/03/2008 14:15

It's a week in a five year old's life FFS!!!
Of course it doesn't matter if she is with her paretns.

My dh is abroad and we take a lot of time off in term time to be with him.School totally understanding.

Ripeberry · 19/03/2008 14:15

Don't worry, just tell the school. We went on a holiday in the UK that overan a few days last Easter and my DD1 was in reception.
It's once they are in class 1 and aged 5yrs that they start to "crack" down on holidays.
Over the half term (Feb) we went to South Africa to visit some friends for 3 weeks, she was missing almost 2 weeks of school.
We had to see the Headmistress who spoke to us and refered it to the governors who said yes...on condition, my DD1 makes a diary and scrapbook of where she went and shows some photos to the class.
Are you going somewhere nice? best to go on this holiday as they will only get more expensive when your DD gets older.
AB

talkingmongoose · 19/03/2008 14:15

I'm normally relaxed about time off school, but that week will probably be Christmas party, nativity etc which is a shame.

Thailand though...

Original poster
hifi · 19/03/2008 14:16

3nab, she will have 1 week off, dont want to lie. i am furious with him. meeting headteacher next week might sound it out with her.

OP posts:
Original poster
hifi · 19/03/2008 14:17

i am going to forward him this post, black out my name though.

OP posts:
Oliveoil · 19/03/2008 14:17

Week before Xmas hols is parties and nativity though

our school are ok with hols if you don't take the piss (ie book a whole 2 weeks), one woman had 3 days off school before the half term as it saved her £600

in that case so would I

your dh is bad for booking it after you had discussed it however

SillyReady2Pop · 19/03/2008 14:18

Now that would really p155 me off!!
Not only is he not respecting what you had said but totally disregarded how your DC would feel when she misses out on being in first christmas play. THe stuff they put on a xmas is magical esp. being first year. Selfish imho. But I have a DH that can be equally stupid (sometimes).
He has a family it's a family holiday why can't he communicate?? GRRRRR It's not all about him!!!

x

PhDlifeNeedsaNewLife · 19/03/2008 14:19

hifi any chance your dh can be there when you discuss it with the head? might help him see their perspective.

PhDlifeNeedsaNewLife · 19/03/2008 14:19

hifi any chance your dh can be there when you discuss it with the head? might help him see their perspective.

girlfrommars · 19/03/2008 14:20

She'll only miss one week. It's not ideal and he should have discussed it with you but I don't think she'll miss much. The week before Christmas holidays in a class of 4/5 year olds I would imagine their minds are elsewhere! If she has to miss a week, that's probably the best one- much better than the first week of a new term.
As to telling them or phoning in sick, read up on the school's policy first, and remember you don't have to tell them anything before at least October.
I'd still let your DH feel a bit guilty about it though

WowOoo · 19/03/2008 14:20

I would just be honest. You don't want to be lying nor encouraging your daughter to be lying either when she's likely to have a little tan!!!

Original poster
hifi · 19/03/2008 14:23

hes comming for the meeting, dont worry hes can bring it up, just going to meet the little shit so i will have a few choice comments.

OP posts:
3NAB · 19/03/2008 14:33

Our head teacher has not allowed some people to take their children out of school and at least one mother had to change her holiday.

The kids have plenty of school holidays.

Everyone feels differently about this.

My school is fining parents who do this.

Original poster
hifi · 19/03/2008 17:46

just met him for lunch, he doesnt get it , thinks the world revolves around him.

OP posts:
3NAB · 19/03/2008 17:55

Well, he has a child now so it doesn't.

expatinscotland · 19/03/2008 17:57

they expect them to be off a lot the first year.

but because they generally catch a lot of bugs and are ill a lot that first year.

3NAB · 19/03/2008 17:58

Mine hasn't had a day off yet.

nametaken · 19/03/2008 18:02

It's not unreasonable for her to miss one week of school at that age although it is unreasonable for him to have gone and done what you told him not to do.

If my dh did this I'd be flipping furious, furthermore, I wouldn't go on principal. I just wouldn't do it.

Oh, and make sure he's the one who sorts everything out at the school.

HappyMummyOfOne · 19/03/2008 18:14

I'd be furious if my DH did this and also wouldnt go on principle.

Regardless of age, school is important for children and they get at least 13 weeks off a year to holiday in.

The week before xmas will be the nativity/play, they make cards, calenders etc and its a great week.

I wouldnt take DS out of school for any holiday, I want him to grow up with a strong work ethic and not think its ok to not go to school because of holidays.

Swipe left for the next trending thread