BLOODY HUSBAND HAS BOOKED HOLIDAY

[hifi]

dd starts school in sept, we normally go away for 3 weeks at xmas as its easy for dh to be off, he wanted to go away for 5 weeks this year. this was fine as we were going to keep dd off school for a year, she has now got into a fab school so couldn't turn the school down.
we spoke about the holiday and i said we would now have to go around when she is off at xmas,lots of huffing and puffing from dh about its the best time for him to have off. i have tried to explain to him that we have to work around term times now.

he has just called,all very up beat and said he has just booked the flights for 3 weeks off, meaning she will have to miss a week before xmas hols, im fuming.
aibu in thinking this is totally selfish, he says it doesnt matter as his mate says its only her first year and it doesnt matter.
do i tell school or feign illness?

dont worry he can do all the sorting, thing is hes such a schmoozer he will get out of it.

4.5 years, we went last year and she did benefit form it, but she was still in nursery.

imo its fine for kids of that age to have a week off, but he has picked the most exciting week of school of the year off!

i agree, she loves all the plays etc, at nursery she really took part last christmas, she hasnt had a xmas, traditional, here that she can remember. we will lose £800 if we cancel, dont know what to do.

Are they not able to be amended ? Agree I would n't want to risk missing first nativity/carols but thousands would.

maybe we could go after but then she misses the beginning of term.

if you can change it, i think it would be better to miss the first week back rather than the week before. first week's at that age tend to be about settling back into routine though, so that's something to think about

i dont want to be in the bad books with school, this is the last year he will ever do as we will have 2 dc next year, or i hope so.

ok really confused now, hes booked, ithink,12th dec til 3rd jan, is 17th til 10th better?

Wow you lot are so much in some ways. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM Your children are little 'work ethic' my ARSE School is important - yes, but at 4.5!!!

Hifi the only reason I would be hacked off is you asked him not to, however the actual holiday - enjoy.

I take my kids skiing every Jan (OK only 3 times so far) and I take them out of school for it. I do this as DH is away for the whole of christmas (9 or 10 weeks as a panto dame the other side of the country) and also because yes it is cheaper. Lastly becasue if he gets work in Jan it is usually at the end of Jan and crosses the half term. As dh is an actor he cannot just 'take' holidays when he wants It revolves aorund his work. The first week r so of Jan straight after panto is the only time of year is is definealy NOT going to be working, so we do this.

This year we are also have a long weekend at a festival just before end of summer term (so are 2 other families!!!) we are missing friday and monday, AND in Novemebr we have a long weekend booked with my family. My mums 75th b'day party (again Fri - Mon) and as she is dying of cancer I think this is acceptable. It will be athe last EVER family holiday we can take

ps just blam eit on your dh, say 'men and roll your eyes' that should be enough!!

Presumably if you were going to hold your DD back for a year, she's not legally bound to be at school so I don't get what the problem is. I do think you should make your DH come into a meeting with the headmistress though or he might do it again next year.

right,in october he is going to tell head dd is going on holiday.not me him.it is the last time he is ever ever going to do it.

Persoanlly I;d go for missisng start fo a term than end of another, unless you cna defer her start to Jnauary easily anyway.

I think that is absolutely the right attitude hifi

thanks, hes not going to ride rough shod again, if he does it next year hes going to be out of pocket. thanks for all the advice and different perspectives, he will get a print out tomorrow am.

I often went on holiday outside of school holiday time right up until I was 14/15. I think that if anything it gave me more of a work ethic, I had to work harder before and after going on holiday to make sure that I kept up with the work. I have lovely memories of family holidays and I did very well academically.

Enjoy your holidays, v. v., just think your dd might not have even been in school so she can hardly be missing out on anything that important can she?

Oh, I would be peeved that he went behind your back although imo yabu to not want to go away in term time. Ignoring your express wishes without further discussion is not on.

I think the issue is more that your dh went behind your back and ignored what you said.
Is he always like that?

He obviously thinks disobeying school rules is fine. he likes to put two fingers up to the school. What an example to show a child? She'll miss the nativity play, the end of term party, all the fun stuff. He's putting his own selifh needs above hers.

If you want to ensure this doesn't happen again you need to put your foot down and say you and she will join him after term ends whatever the cost.

Also in some schools she will lose her place by doing that.

I would be angry if dh did this after we had discussed it. You could say to the school that the holiday was booked before you were offered the place.

DD's School has allowed us quite a lot of time off for holidays - I don't think it matters so much when they are in nursery/reception/ even year 1 - a holiday with their parents and siblings is so much more important.