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AIBU?

To wonder how they afford to stay at home?

104 replies

Zonnet · 19/01/2024 19:56

I follow lots of mum accounts on Tiktok. They are mainly younger mums ranging from 20-30. Most (not all) stay at home or only work extremely part time, have two or three kids, seem to have a lovely home & two brand new cars on the drive and are constantly filming packing for holiday and day out videos.

It’s nothing against them at all, it’s nice that they can have the freedom to do those things and have such lifestyles. AIBU to wonder how they manage it on one income at a younger age? It’s one thing if you ‘have it all’ in your mid 30s or 40s as you have probably worked very hard to establish yourself or your other half could be a very big earner. Maybe it’s just not reflective of real life… or I don’t know!

OP posts:
JustTalkToThem · 19/01/2024 19:57

Jaysus, all the jealous people are out today.

SENDhelp2023 · 19/01/2024 19:58

SM isnt reality

Zonnet · 19/01/2024 19:58

JustTalkToThem · 19/01/2024 19:57

Jaysus, all the jealous people are out today.

Not jealous. Just curious!

OP posts:
gwenneh · 19/01/2024 19:58

The short answer is they have enough household money to do it.

Whether that's a high earning partner, high earning part-time work, or outside income/savings/inheritance - I don't think it's that much of a mystery.

zazazoop · 19/01/2024 19:58

Being an influencer can be quite lucrative with sponsorship deals ect. Creating content can also be a full time job

MrsKwazi · 19/01/2024 19:59

God another one 🙄

NuffSaidSam · 19/01/2024 19:59

Some people have more money than others. It's really that simple.

Maybe they have a high earning other half.
Maybe they have family money.
Maybe they've won money.
Maybe they suffered a terrible accident at some point and had a big payout.
Maybe they earn loads from social media.
Maybe it's all on credit cards.
Maybe they have a secret life of crime.

I really wouldn't give it too much thought.

Zonnet · 19/01/2024 19:59

SENDhelp2023 · 19/01/2024 19:58

SM isnt reality

True. I guess if you’re good at vlogging your day to day life and people want to watch, you can probably make it so it’s quite lucrative too. I have no idea how much you get paid for it by the platforms but it might be really well paid.

OP posts:
Nonplusultra · 19/01/2024 19:59

On SM rich people play at being poor and poor people play at being rich.

Caffeineneedednow · 19/01/2024 19:59

As @SENDhelp2023 said SM is not always real.

But some can be SAHM due to a rich husband or family money.

Greycottage · 19/01/2024 20:00

Their partners have high salaries. They live in a cheap part of the country. They themselves have a high-paying career before children which they keep doing part-time. Family money. All of the above.

(and you sound jealous).

Zonnet · 19/01/2024 20:00

zazazoop · 19/01/2024 19:58

Being an influencer can be quite lucrative with sponsorship deals ect. Creating content can also be a full time job

Actually yeah, I sometimes see ‘paid partnership’ type videos so maybe this all helps to it.

OP posts:
3WildOnes · 19/01/2024 20:01

Inherited wealth, parents bought them a house, they have rich husbands.

I had a number of friends who lived in million pounds houses before they were 30.

Stressedoutforever · 19/01/2024 20:01

I'm 26 and could be a SAHM but chose to work 2 days a week and we have 2 under 2. Basically living that lifestyle

  1. My husband works extremely hard
  2. We have a reasonable mortgage (essex)
  3. We've always been sensible with money so have a nice safety net behind us


It's not that tricky really..
Stressedoutforever · 19/01/2024 20:03

Just to add my husband thinks it's important I have the option to stay home and spend as much time as possible with our boys- so he does overtime in a well paid professional role to enable that

ChunkyMonkey3 · 19/01/2024 20:05

“Maybe it’s just not reflective of real life…”

But if it’s on the internet it must be real. Said no one, ever.

Bridgertonned · 19/01/2024 20:07

A lot will be American, and outside of the major cities, big houses and big cars are much more affordable/standard than they would be in the UK.

Laiste · 19/01/2024 20:11

They pray to the King of The Potato People to give them money ....

Good lord it's not rocket science is it? It's money they've worked for, won, inherited or married into. OR it's all smoke and mirrors and they aren't rich at all and are just good at looking like they are.

LadyBird1973 · 19/01/2024 20:13

Just because a person expresses curiosity, it doesn't make them jealous. And even if they were, so what? Isn't it natural to want nice things when you see other people have them? Especially if they don't seem to be working that hard for them.

OP, I think a lot of it is smoke and mirrors. Done people are very adept at making their lives look amazing on SM. But not everything you see is true.

Zonnet · 19/01/2024 20:15

LadyBird1973 · 19/01/2024 20:13

Just because a person expresses curiosity, it doesn't make them jealous. And even if they were, so what? Isn't it natural to want nice things when you see other people have them? Especially if they don't seem to be working that hard for them.

OP, I think a lot of it is smoke and mirrors. Done people are very adept at making their lives look amazing on SM. But not everything you see is true.

Just wanted to say thank you for this lovely, kind and realistic reply!! That’s true xx

OP posts:
HerRoyalNotness · 19/01/2024 20:15

I follow an influencer type of mum, a bit older, made $US500k last year!

Scutterbug · 19/01/2024 20:15

Wow you’re getting a lot of bitchy comments for just asking a question! I think some suggestions above are probably reality but they are also not the average within their demographic. Most 20/30 year olds have to work.

FakeHoisinDuck · 19/01/2024 20:17

We couldn't really afford to have us both working. I imagine that's the case for many many people. Very very few at our large primary were full time outside the home as lower income area so not worthwhile.

I didnt have the flashy lifestyle though!

Alwaysalwayscold · 19/01/2024 20:19

I live the life you describe. I'm not on social media. Same age bracket.

We live on DH's salary.

My best piece of advice is to not live beyond your means, even if you have a good household income. Too many people put themselves into debt just to have a mega expensive car when they can already afford a nice new car. They will take on the biggest mortgage they can on the biggest house possible, again meaning they end up in debt.

bakewellbride · 19/01/2024 20:19

You would honestly be astounded at how much successful YouTubers make. Sometimes absolutely millions.

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