To wonder how they afford to stay at home?

[Zonnet]

I follow lots of mum accounts on Tiktok. They are mainly younger mums ranging from 20-30. Most (not all) stay at home or only work extremely part time, have two or three kids, seem to have a lovely home & two brand new cars on the drive and are constantly filming packing for holiday and day out videos.

It’s nothing against them at all, it’s nice that they can have the freedom to do those things and have such lifestyles. AIBU to wonder how they manage it on one income at a younger age? It’s one thing if you ‘have it all’ in your mid 30s or 40s as you have probably worked very hard to establish yourself or your other half could be a very big earner. Maybe it’s just not reflective of real life… or I don’t know!

If influencer with kids probably they’re getting money of collaborations and from the views they get from selling the private life of their kids

It’s baffling to me that someone would find a 20something SAHM who posts on TikTok anything other than pitiable.

Just to give you an idea my sister is a tik tokker she is on it constantly. She's become very obsessed with it and Instagram and buys so much crap off it and constabtly moaning about how she looks, what she needs to wear etc. She has parcels daily arriving. She spends at least 8 hours a day filming and editing and getting frustrated. She earns around 2k a month and she's doesn't have a massive following

I genuinely wonder this too. Women in their 30s, 3 kids, private schools x 3, all immaculately dressed, house immaculate, holidays abroad on every school holiday, weekends away, new clothes every week never wearing the same thing twice, new cars! The list goes on!

We have a higher than average household income (looking at the stats it is twice the uk average) and I feel like we can afford f all 😂
I can only think that it is social media which is providing the lucrative extra income and goodies (like clothes and make up) which allows the money to be saved for houses / cars. Because ultimately there are some things which cannot be faked.?
A lot of these women do have footballer partners so on a 5k+++ salary a week provides a great life.

Why?

They are home with their kids making money?

Yeah, this was my immediate thought too.

Also, they are a self-selecting group - people who don't have that kind of wealth are too busy working to fanny about making TikTok videos.

Have not read the full thread, but doubt most influencers are making an awful lot. I think it's like a pyramid where the few at the top earn loads, and the average "mum TikTokker" is probably getting very little if anything, other than an ego boost and something to do.

I think it’s a lot of the time (depending on who it is), they’re ticked up to the eyeballs - certainly the case when I was their age (not me, others). Prime example is one of our best friends - massive house (interest only) new car (leased), fancy holidays (credit card). Guess who is lending him £9k for his tax bill - us in our ex LA home. Smoke and mirrors.

I find it pitiable that they are making their kids into money (or more likely, "likes", "shares", an ego boost and peanuts). I'd rather my children grow up knowing that Mummy has a job and colleagues and things to do in the world, than be at home filming them and uploading our home life to the world.

No issue with SAHM - big issue with the commodification of a family's private life especially where children are involved.

I rarely use social media and I find the very idea of ‘ influencers’ completely ridiculous. Why would anyone want to post photos/ videos of their lives for the whole world to see? And why do so many people enable it by following? I don’t get it, perhaps because I’m middle aged. Lose the social media, you’ll feel much better for it.

Some of them make crazy amounts of money from influencing. My company has worked with a very popular cleaning influencer and whilst I know she’s one of the biggest the amount of money she wanted was insane.

Work in SM can be very lucrative.

Are they Mormons from Utah? A huge amount of mom vloggers are from there. If you see a giant American home, you can assume that's the case. They are all very religious and very wealthy. Women expected to stay home and have children young. MLMs started in Utah because of the Mormon culture where women were discouraged to work full time so they embraced the "side hustle from home".

I think it’s a case of it’s only a job for people who can afford it. Ie: if you didn’t have a lot of money to buy nice things in the first place, no one is going to be looking at your videos.

Influencing is a job for privileged people.

So that’s it really: they’re wealthy already. They might make some money from influencing eventually, but you have to have money in the first place before you can even begin.

The one I know comes from a wealthy family, her DH has a very good job and their big fancy house is in a not great area that’s close to a very ‘naice’ area which she claims to be in.

I’ve been a SAHM for the past 9 years and I’m 34 now 🤷🏻‍♀️ DH earnt more than enough and our values/priorities meant we chose for me to stay home. I know tons of families in a similar boat. It’s been a pleasure and a privilege and now I’m retraining 😃 maybe these ones you’re seeing online make money from SM to help fund their SAHMing, which is not for me but if they can do it why shouldn’t they hey!

So much is smoke and mirrors. I know an influencer. She’s fairly successful (been on tv through her job) and travels a lot for free. She often gets free clothes sent to her and she gets invited to events.

Not a significant amount of cold hard cash being earned though.

There's nothing wrong with it.

It's a perfectly natural human emotion.

Rich partners would be my first thought

You have to be pretty successful to earn a lot from being an influencer.

even those that do well for a couple of years find it’s hard to sustain over time.

i think you might be surprised how much of the trappings are funded by credit.

DH and I talk about it often. We live in a big city and you see luxury 4x4s and other expensive (£80k+ ) cars all the time.

yet if you read the stats about household income, there just aren’t enough people earning enough to being buying them outright.

but a lot of people get a car in finance and pay £500 a month for it or similar even though it’s a terrible deal.

Why does anyone care?

I can't think of anything more boring than watching videos of the select parts of some attention seeking family's life.

I do worry about the exploitation of the children in these families though.

Lots of instagrammers that have a big following have that following because they were well off in the first place, and got lots of followers because they had nice clothes, holidays, home etc etc.

I can think of a few instagrammers off the top of my head who are married to minor sportsmen. Another has a husband who owns a car dealership. Another has a husband who has family money.

What I'm trying to say is those that were rich in the first place are more likely to make it big on social media.

I think the phrase ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ should be changed to TikTok is the thief of joy!

Honestly, stay off SM unless you’re a confident person with good self worth. Infact, stay off it anyway.

I bet you could film and edit parts of your life to look amazing on social media..but the reality of that day/ week is very different.. just use social media for inspiration and ideas and don't worry about the people behind it..its all a business they are creating a narrative to sell stuff. Maybe they don't have the same day to day pressure of work/money but there will still be plenty of stress in other ways. Enjoy your own life and make the best of it.

Younger people can be making a large take home wage.
For example - some tradesmen earn a lot by the time they are twenty five and can help build their own house and are not paying off uni debt.
Coupled with paying no or little childcare would make living on one wage possible.
Family help is often a game changer. A house deposit, a car for a gift, a windfall from deceased relative, and help with child care makes part time work very profitable.

Part time night shift like nursing saves on child care if other parent is at home for example. Buying house in country, buying second hand car, accepting second hand baby items, budgeting well.

I actually know some sm influencers (family group) and a lot of their videos are fake. One of the parents family is quite wealthy and that’s where they get a lot of their ‘resources’ from (large house is parents, holiday home parents or sisters etc). Not saying they won’t own it in the future, they just don’t have it themselves now. Just be wary of what you see on the net.