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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to take another year off work?

307 replies

Animallover87 · 19/01/2024 09:48

I'm currently half way through mat leave with my first (and only) baby.

I've been offered the opportunity to take another (unpaid) year from my company. It won't in any way affect my job prospects afterwards and I would slot back into the same job.

My DH is happy for me to do this and can cover all the bills on his salary but there isn't much left to spare afterwards so we'd need to tighten our belts but it's definitely doable.

I would rather look after my baby myself for another year than send him to childcare (no family support)

Would you do it?

OP posts:
Vistada · 19/01/2024 09:51

Do you have the "won't affect job prospects/slot back into same job" in writing?

Are you comfortable being financially 100% dependent on DH for a year?

If the answer to both of those questions is yes - do it!

Muchof · 19/01/2024 09:51

Yes, why not.

Original poster
Animallover87 · 19/01/2024 09:53

@Vistada Do you have the "won't affect job prospects/slot back into same job" in writing?

Yep I'm a teacher so would still be employed with my local authority and they would get a temp teacher to fill in for the year.

OP posts:
TornApartByLisa · 19/01/2024 09:55

I've just gone back to work and wish I could have had a bit longer off. Maybe not a whole year but 6 months or so. So yeah I'd do it if you can afford it.

Butterandtoast · 19/01/2024 09:55

I would 100%

Mazuslongtoenail · 19/01/2024 09:56

I wouldn’t, I like the variety of work and the change makes me a better parent.

But you say you’d rather look after your DS and it’s financially doable - so it doesn’t matter what others would do. Do what’s right for you and your family.

NonPlayerCharacter · 19/01/2024 09:56

Animallover87 · 19/01/2024 09:53

@Vistada Do you have the "won't affect job prospects/slot back into same job" in writing?

Yep I'm a teacher so would still be employed with my local authority and they would get a temp teacher to fill in for the year.

In which case yes, I'd do it. Child costs aren't high at this age and a year of scrimping a bit would be worth it to me. I wouldn't want to be a long term SAHP but this is effectively extended mat leave.

Tontostitis · 19/01/2024 09:56

Of course, I'm currently doing 2 days a week granny daycare I've done it for all my grandchildren on a regular basis and the way they miss their mums is heartbreaking. My grandchildren adore me and I them and I follow the parental rules in the main. They are all happy if not ecstatic to be looked after by us but seeing them a day here a day there then at nursery is awful tbh. I know there's very little choice now and no ones to blame but you have a choice please grab this opportunity .

shepherdsangeldelight · 19/01/2024 09:56

I wouldn't. But then I wouldn't want to be a SAHP and would want to keep at least a foot in the door of my ongoing career (I'd worry it would be too hard to get back in after 2 years).
I also think that if things are tight financially it's too much of a risk.

I'd also say that you may feel differently when your baby gets older. Staying at home when you're on maternity leave with a 5/6 month old (guessing) is different to staying at home with a toddler!

Unabletomitigate · 19/01/2024 09:57

Do it.
You want to, you can afford it, and it is a once in a lifetime kind of thing!

Good luck!

Urcheon · 19/01/2024 10:01

Mazuslongtoenail · 19/01/2024 09:56

I wouldn’t, I like the variety of work and the change makes me a better parent.

But you say you’d rather look after your DS and it’s financially doable - so it doesn’t matter what others would do. Do what’s right for you and your family.

This. I went back early from maternity leave, and immediately started enjoying motherhood far more, and was a much better mother when I was around DS.

NYName · 19/01/2024 10:01

Do it if you can afford to. You have a stable job to return to,
These early years go so quickly and you'll never get them back,
No-one on their deathbed ever said I wish I'd spent more time at work

DeuxCroissants · 19/01/2024 10:05

"I would rather look after my baby myself for another year than send him to childcare (no family support)"

If you can afford it and want to, then do it op. I would too.

Mairzydotes · 19/01/2024 10:08

Yes. Take the extra year.

Ejismyf · 19/01/2024 10:09

Yes I'd do it. I went back after my third and ended up having to leave after a few months for various reasons and really enjoyed the time at home. I'd just make sure things won't change financially too much - no fixed mortgage comint to an end when off, also make sure if you need to that you can go back early within the year if required and things suddenly change.

averythinline · 19/01/2024 10:10

Can you keep pension contributions up? If not will you be able to top up when you back? If you can afford it great but make sure you’ve covered all expenses/finances including pensions contribution/savings

Original poster
Animallover87 · 19/01/2024 10:14

@averythinline no my pension would take a hit as it has for mat leave this year.

I'm torn between I only live once and desperately want another year with my lovely DS. Time I'll never get back.

Or being sensible and thinking about pension etc.

OP posts:
Adelaff · 19/01/2024 10:17

Yes, do it. I'm currently off with my DC2, he's 15 months. DC1 went to nursery 3.5 days a week when he was 12 months and it felt too soon, for him and for me. Circumstances were different this time which have enabled me to stay home longer. Your situation is 'better' than mine, so if I were in your shoes I'd take the extra year without question.

MRSMTO · 19/01/2024 10:18

I absolutely would have done!

moggle · 19/01/2024 10:19

I took a 5 year career break (civil service) after I had twins (already had a DD too), wasn’t meant to be so long but covid hit and one twin had SEN so extended it. Not sure I’d recommend that long, as it’s been very hard getting back into the swing of things and I was extremely lucky to get my exact job back, but honestly a year sounds great. The only question I’d have is if you’re planning to have a second / more child, what kind of gap would you like and how long do you have to be back at work for to be entitled for mat leave? I think from the POV of helping out your life, if you do want more children, having a year off would be more useful after having another child…

moggle · 19/01/2024 10:20

Just realised by saying first and only, if you are not planning any more I’d say go for it 100%

Wemetatascoutcamp · 19/01/2024 10:23

I was made redundant during my last pregnancy so was able to take 2 years off with DS- due again next week and feel a bit sad i’m going to have to go back to work after a year this time.
I know it doesn’t suit everyone and not everyone has the luxury but I think you’d regret it more if you didn’t take the extra year now while you can….

Original poster
Animallover87 · 19/01/2024 10:27

I'm inclined to think that time with DS is more important than money.

It's just quite daunting the thought of a whole year unpaid! But I could easily pick up some private tutoring work in the evenings.

We have some savings and only 120k left on our mortgage so not huge.

OP posts:
Peeony · 19/01/2024 10:28

It sounds like you enjoy being at home, so I would if I were you. Yes there is a financial impact but there are benefits for you and your kid that are important even though they can’t be measured in monetary terms.

I found being at home hard so went back part-time at 6 months because I wanted to, but I’m not you!

Nineteendays · 19/01/2024 10:29

I would but why are school offering it? Are you absolutely sure you will have a job to go back to? Can you get that in writing?

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