AIBU to take another year off work?

[Animallover87]

I'm currently half way through mat leave with my first (and only) baby.

I've been offered the opportunity to take another (unpaid) year from my company. It won't in any way affect my job prospects afterwards and I would slot back into the same job.

My DH is happy for me to do this and can cover all the bills on his salary but there isn't much left to spare afterwards so we'd need to tighten our belts but it's definitely doable.

I would rather look after my baby myself for another year than send him to childcare (no family support)

Would you do it?

I so wish I had stayed at home, so yes I would! Especially with financial support coming in for childcare from a younger age by the time you'd then go back.

Why don’t you look into those websites where you can sell your worksheets and lesson plans? A little something you can work on in any spare time and it’ll keep you up to date with any changes in syllabus 😊

Yes I would do this in a heartbeat if I could.

100 percent I would do it. I think starting nursery at 2 is the perfect age. You’ll never ever look back and think ‘I really wish I worked that year when XXX was a baby’.

I would OP. It sounds like it's what you want.

I have just returned to work after mat leave, ds has just turned one and I don't feel ready to leave him yet.

Due to COVID and WFH we delayed nursery for DD and she went part time at 20 months and full time at 2.5. I felt a lot better about this than I do about DS, we were both just more ready.

I did and i don't regret it one bit

I would

Absolutely do it. You two will have a wonderful year together. I took a total of 8 years off (3 children), returning to part-time work when my youngest was 3 and then full-time when she was 5. Kids are now early teens and I'm in a senior role. So pleased I had those early years with my children.

Personally, I would absolutely take as much time as possible. I had to go back to work when my kids were very small babies. I would have loved the opportunity to stay home with them. If it's what you want and its financially viable with no impact on your career going forward then absolutely do it! They are only little for a short time ☺️
PS - absolutely no judgement on anyone who feels and does differently, this is just my experience and feelings.

Does tightening your belt mean less Cartier or less Cadburys?

Also make sure he puts money into a cash account in your name only, in lieu of childcare expenses saved/income earned and pays pension contributions for you, regardless of budget.

Not many people have your choice. Get your employers offer in writing. 💪🏼

Jesus, do it. It's a no brainer!
You'll always earn money and nobody wished they'd worked more on their death bed.... nobody!

I can literally only afford to take a month off once baby is born.
Maybe 5 or 6 weeks if I'm lucky and can stretch the money.
Being self employed and the higher earner I don't have much choice if I want to keep my clients. I already lost my biggest one when I got pregnant because, despite being a female owned business who prides herself on hiring women and keeping it local yadda yadda yadda, she treated my pregnancy like it was such an inconvenience to her and pushed me away. I cannot afford to lose any other regular clients now.
What I'd managed to save has gone on baby stuff and my tax return bill.

If I could take a year off I absolutely would.
(I am lucky in that I can get away with taking baby to work with me.... not sure for how long but certainly while they're still small)

If you can afford to, take it. With both hands. Your child will be so much better for it and your world that much richer. Imagine all the moments you'll get to experience you otherwise wouldn't have.

Yes, in a heartbeat! The only reason I went back to work it’s because is a very specific role with lots of flexibility that I know it would be extremely unlikely to grab one like this again! Go for it!!

I would grab it with both hands. Especially if you are just having one child. There is nothing like time with them when they are young. But I wouldn't do it if it meant I had to go back full time.

Do it! Sounds great!

Yes I would absolutely do it! You never get that for again

I wouldn’t do it but that’s just because, as much as I loved my babies and being on mat leave for a year with them, I was ready for adult company and to exercise my brain again! I’m also a teacher and found it was perfect as you get weekends and holidays. I have had to work a bit differently, so work after they’re in bed or set aside a specific time on weekends where I work and my husband will take the kids. Now they’re older and both at school it’s much easier. Both of mine went to nursery from 12 months old and they absolutely loved it. I was lucky that neither of mine ever cried and they were both pretty sociable so enjoyed it. I’ve also found that nursery set them up perfectly for school and they’ve both sailed through so far. But you need to do what’s best for you. If you have a senior position in your school I’d be careful though, I have a senior position so was keen to get back to it. Things can change fast in schools and you might find your position was easily filled by someone else. Best of luck!

What if you want another child?

No brainer. But I took 6 years out as wanted to be there when ours babies / toddlers. Best decision ever such happy years.

I’d be really careful about this.
Unless this is really securely agreed in a contract, I would tread very carefully. I’ve seen informal agreements like this go very wrong (been SLT for 20 years). Sounds like they really like your mat cover… I truly wouldn’t be surprised if your exact job isn’t standing waiting for you in another 12months.

All that’s aside, yes, I’d absolutely take an extra year, but don’t forget to keep money aside for pension contributions.

If the agreement is watertight to return then yes I would. However things change so much in a school/education that you may struggle to adjust when you return after two years out.
If you did it could you be planned supply cover for the school? Ie if they knew xyz is on a course next week you could plan childcare to cover? That way you do get pension contributions too.

Yes as you will never get the time back. It's hard work juggling teaching & baby with early starts, meeting, marking, parents evening. When mine were tiny they were in a great routine & I would be busy til 7 with them then have to get books & laptop out again and work til 9 or 10pm just to keep up. I would have loved to be able to enjoy & focus on my own children more. Rather than trying to hurry along so I could get back to marking.

However you should get job offer in writing. Part time would be best option for you long term.

At my work the written terms and conditions for a career break are shared well in advance of the decision by the person seeking the break, in a short document. This is explicit on things like (limited’ ‘right of return’ , break finish date, any paid work during the break and so on.

I wouldn’t remain off work after the end of mat leave on ‘informal’ terms because your personal risks if the terms are not as you expect are much higher than your employers. It’s in everyone’s interest to do it properly. If need be I’d return to work pending resolution of the terms in writing.

I so so wish I could do this. One year in your whole life? Go for it.

All these women being a SAHM for years and then going back to high earning jobs. Is that really that common? 🤔