AIBU to take another year off work?

[Animallover87]

I'm currently half way through mat leave with my first (and only) baby.

I've been offered the opportunity to take another (unpaid) year from my company. It won't in any way affect my job prospects afterwards and I would slot back into the same job.

My DH is happy for me to do this and can cover all the bills on his salary but there isn't much left to spare afterwards so we'd need to tighten our belts but it's definitely doable.

I would rather look after my baby myself for another year than send him to childcare (no family support)

Would you do it?

I wouldn't be overly concerned about pension as you don't know what the future holds.

I would however consider what my plans are for my family. I know some might think I am overly thinking. But this has affected some people I know. What about more children? I wouldn't take it for granted that it will be easy to catch again and of you take another year, you will need to return to work for another year before qualifying for more mat leave . This would be something I would consider.

I dropped my hours and work became less about finances for me as a parent and more about maintaining independence from the house.

I was made redundant voluntarily at the end of my mat leave, having the time off was the best thing I could have done as it’s time with my son I can’t get back. I missed the work side of it but didn’t want to put him into childcare and have no family to look after him other than my husband so every time he was ill etc I would have been taking time off work anyway. I also looked at childcare costs and we decided that we would go without things rather than work and struggle to pay for luxuries. He’s now 3 and I have a job doing a few hours a month but not many. I don’t regret it. I worked full time for 23 years and being a mom has been the hardest job of all.

I'm not convinced that taking 5 years out is the kiss of death to a woman's career as we've been told it is.

Now we have to work till 67 that's 45 to 50 years to focus on your career!!! Seriously, how much damage would a few years out make?

Definitely!

Yes I would do it. I think we massively underestimate the impact of the first 1001 days of a babies life and spending extra time 1:1 with your child will be a great investment. Yes money is important, but it's not the only factor to consider in the equation of being a mother.

If you can afford it and want to, and have the agreement that you can return to work after then yes do it.

Ive got 3 primary aged children and I don’t think I would have straight after maternity, but would have done when they were 3/4 years old. 1/2 years old is hard, I worked part time and enjoyed the balance of working and parenting at those ages. By 3 or 4 I found mine much more fun and it was far less stressful being at home with them!

I’m amazed that school is offering you this, and I would accept it in a heartbeat! It’s not long term, and it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. You’re very lucky! 😊

I did very similar but ended up not going back as had a nother 2 babies. Retrained as time off made me realise I was bored of my job and went p/t until kids were at high school. Full time now. So so glad I did it. We were skint but nothing will get those precious days back. Now got money but less time has not made me regret it at all.

Financial independence is really important to me and I never want to depend on benefits or my husband, unless I become ill. But I think OP you’ve made up your mind that this is what you want to do so go for it!

The only thing I would say is I am in my 50s and several friends are regretting not maximising how much they put into their pension. As a full-time NHS worker since my kids were babies, I have less to worry about than some. So do give it some thought.

As an aside, I think part of me would be wondering if there was another reason why my employer didn’t want me back!

I did exactly this after my first child, took a one year sabbatical unpaid. Got my same job back on return. Was excellent! A year in the context of your whole career is nothing and I found when I went back to work it was pretty much exactly the same. Work is work. It’s always there. Your baby however will grow up and you’ll never get that time back again. It will mean so much to your baby, and you will have so many memories. I have hundreds of precious photos, videos of things I did during that extra year. Do it OP or you will regret it.

Do it. The early years are the most important and you'll never regret having more time with your baby. There are so many lovely things you can do together (which don't have to cost a lot). School start will come round so quickly - make the most of this special time while you can x

I'm doing this with you second now. Mat leave finished October. I've arranged for DD to start Cylch in October after her 2nd birthday and then I'll start back at work. I regret going back to work with my first when she was 8 months. I've enjoyed every minute with my second and do not regret this choice at all.

Out of interest, what do you teach OP? I went part time with DS1 (now 21) and was Head of Year at the time too.

Why don’t you do some part time tutoring while you’re off and earn just enough to cover pension and NI stamp etc?

When I was returning to work, it was hard to think ahead, I just desperately wanted to be with my baby. However, I made sure I considered my baby as a toddler/a pre schooler etc. Your baby is your precious baby and you’ll feel that pull as they get older. I went back a few days a week and that was hard leaving my baby but I was so glad to have done it as they got older.

A colleague of mine while I was teaching asked for and got an unpaid year off to go to Australia. She returned to her role the following year. She taught Maths which might have been relevant.

Depends. In my case, it would be a lot of damage which is a reason why I didn't do it.

In OP's case, maybe not. Who knows.

I00% do it.

Oh and another Maths teacher friend of mine has secured a sabbatical year for next year.

I would say yes to the experience but I wouldnt take their word that you can have your job back at face value, even if it is in writing.

I'd suggest speaking to your union to ask if and how you can lock that down.

I dont remember the specifics but I think you're only entitled to your exact job for 9 months after starting maternity leave and any longer then youre entitled to a similar job on no less pay or favourable terms.

I don't think it will be worth the paper its written on if they restructure as they have no legal obligation (from a maternity pov) to give you what they offering, even if they are saying it in good faith.

I love my job and am really happy I went back after mat leave, but I always said if I could have taken a few years out without it affecting my career, I would have done. You have that opportunity and if it’s something you want to do and you can afford it, and your partner is supportive, then it’s a no brainer - go for it!

Do it!
I had 12 years off when I had my children 🤣
went back to work when my youngest was starting school just before her 5th birthday

I'd do it 100% took 5 years out with my kids and loved it. Best time of my life. Working would have been the same as childcare so no financial benefit and my employment prospects better too. I've been back at work 5 years and can't believe how much my career has moved on, I think the time out, new perspective, new people had such a positive impact. If you can afford it do it. I had such a lovely time with the kids and now they're 10 and 8 so lovely looking back on that phase of life.

Id personally find it really boring.