To be pissed off at this?

[SpeedbirdSquawker]

My mum is in her 60s. She's got a horrible virus and has been sick in bed a few times. The mattress hasn't dried.

She doesn't share a bed with her husband. She won't sleep with him tonight as she likely will be sick again. So she's sleeping on the sofa. She's really poorly. I asked if he knew she was sleeping on the sofa and he does. I asked why she hadn't asked him to flip her mattress over and she says he's been working all week and was tired when he got home. He's not a fucking fragile butterfly! Aibu to be so pissed off at him for not offering to turn over the mattress and her for being so fucking soft? She's like this a lot with him doing things after work that he's tired.

Could you not flip it? I mean, I’d have to hoick it onto the floor and do some crazy manoeuvres but I’d manage. Or couldn’t you ask him? If she doesn’t sleep with him anyway, where does she normally sleep? So many questions! Could she come to yours instead or are you not nearby?

I don't live with her. I told her I will be round tomorrow if she doesn't get him to sort it. I am also poorly but willing get in a taxi to do that for her. It winds me up of how tired he is after work so she won't ask him to do it.

Can you not flip it? I mean really it needs to be cleaned properly. If it stinks if sick flipping it isn’t the answer.

She sleeps alone as he's a noisy sleeper and she is.

Ok, but you’re not hot footing it round there either,and why flip it if she’s likely to be sick again?

Why would he have offered to flip the mattress? And if it has sick on it then it needs cleaned or thrown out, not flipped.

Flipping it while wet will ruin it, why doesn't he sleep on the sofa and let her have the other bed?

She can't clean it properly as she's weak.

I've said I was going round to sort it but she didn't want my help. How will she ever get better sleeping on the sofa?

Sounds like her husband is inconsiderate and she is a bit of a doormat.

However as a solution for tonight she could put towels on the mattress under the sheet.

Does he know she has been sick on the bed? Does she now have a basin or bucket?

He wouldn't offer to sleep on the sofa instead of her. Ha ha ha.

Don't flip it while it's damp and anyway if it's not thoroughly cleaned it will go mouldy.
Tell her to just put a few towels on it for the time being and sleep on it.
And get a bucket.

If she’s likely to be sick again the sofa is maybe better, but flipping it an vomiting on the other side is not great.

i assume you just don’t like him?

She's always saying that she won't ask him to do things after work. He's too tired.

I don't think it should be flipped when wet -it needs to dry out properly

He sounds inconsiderate, uncaring and pretty useless. So he can’t do anything after working for a day. I wonder what his good points are

To be fair, it’s fine if he’s tired after work. I am and I’m probably a lot younger than him!

I'd go round tomorrow, clean the mattress properly for her and dry it as best as you can (hairdryer?). Then towels to cover so she can sleep on it. If she is still being sick you could pick up a plastic bed sheet to put on, or a mattress protector you can sling in the wash if soiled.

I wouldn’t be flipping the mattress if she’s just going to be sick on it again. Can’t she put towels/pads down? Is she unable to be sick into a bowl? If she’s being sick without waking, then she shouldn’t be lying down.

Dealing with a damp pukey mattress by flipping it is rank, I don’t understand why you think it’s terrible that he hasn’t done this. I’m guessing you just don’t like him and it’s another thing to add to the list of why. Maybe he’s also unwell if he’s feeling so worn out, these things spread easily. Who knows.

I don't mind him actually. I think a bit of consideration or even helping her put towels down or something. I don't know. Perhaps I'm overthinking but she's my mum and I want her to get better. She was proper poorly in the past and he wasn't particularly helpful then I suppose. Not ever going out of his way to do anything to help except for lifts. He's surprised me pleasantly a few times by doing nice things but then I want someone who will look after my mum when she's ill.

If she's likely to be sick again then flipping the mattress is a bad idea, not to mention that it won't dry flipped, she'll get mould.

Worst case scenario, old towels down for the time being to protect her from the wet and the mattress from any more sick.

Then it needs a good scrub and air out.

I hope she feels better soon.

I think because he doesn't cook or help with cleaning too, it gets to me.

Can she just put a towel over it and the bedsheet back on but give it a spray first?

I would prefer to sleep on the sofa if being sick. Much easier to lean over a bowl from a sofa than a bed.
I agree that turning a wet sicky mattress is asking for trouble.