Dd shouted and hit me

[Ffswhatshappenednow]

How would you deal with this?

Dd, 5.5 is generally a very sweet, fun and bright girl, but often finds her hard to control her temper.
We’ve just had a nice time making brownies, sat down with hot chocolate and read stories. All was fine until she saw i
was drinking out of her cup (she’s not normally territorial or fixed on certain things) we both recently bought new cups with dogs on and said only for us to use (bit of a joke as Dh uses all the cups and loses them)
Dds and I new cups are v similar, I was drinking from hers by mistake. She just completely blew up, shouted and hit me.

Ive just switched off the show she wanted to watch and said no more tv and she’s got more upset and said she doesn’t like me anymore and wants me to stay at work forever when I go (saying unkind things is fairly new too)

Is this all normal behaviour?

How would you deal with it?

And?

I'd suspect that something happened in school today where somebody took her stuff or some such stress for her. Doesn't make it acceptable and no TV is a reasonable consequence, but it could be an explanation for why she's overreacted so strongly.

A couple of days from now have a conversation about anger and what is appropriate and not appropriate when expressing anger (such as not taking it out on others).
Discuss ways to think and behave when you feel angry such as saying "I feel very angry right now, I am going to my room to calm down" and come back a bit later to discuss how you feel.
Punch a pillow rather than a person etc.
Talk about the fact that everyone feels angry and it's normal, it what we do with our anger.
Make sure she knows it's always inappropriate to hit or hurt someone from anger and it's always wrong for someone to hit or hurt her due to anger.

Thank her for apologizing and making peace so quickly and explain how normal its is for people to lose their temper.

Explain that as she gets older she will learn more and more how to control her feelings appropriately and that's part of growing up.

A tap? If I tapped my children on the wrist they would just look at me confused. Or ignore I as they just wouldn't understand the point I was trying to make. So do you actually mean hit them hard enough to hurt them?

Spot on.
Do not back down on the TV, but see how things are when she’s calmed down. 5 is old enough to know that you can’t explode because someone is using your cup.

Good luck

to you and your child

She knows her behaviour was wrong. Accept the present / apology, cuddle and let her watch her show.

It's good that she knows what she did is wrong and wants to apologise by wrapping a present. While I wouldn't give in on the TV I would do something else positive with her. A game, a puzzle, some drawing or reading. She doesn't "win" back her TV time as she did something wrong but she does get to do something else with you. She can have her TV program back tomorrow. Mum follows through with what she says but it's not negative and nasty.

ah so sweet. I think she's finding it hard to control her anger, she's only 5 , but yes she needs to be told that hitting is not allowed

Thank you everyone 🙏
Ive stuck by the no tv for today, don’t want to back down on it, had a little chat about how it hurts people to hit and say unkind things…and let it go now.

Over tired or not I would come down very seriously on this

phew!

I was worried you weee going to go with “This needs consequences”

and hit her back

she will no doubt benefit from an early night

Straight to bed and any parties she was going to at the weekend cancelled. Horrible behaviour.

😂

Perfect

Enjoy the rest of your evening together.

God no…I’d never hit her back 😳

Harsh

So is thumping your mother and saying you wished she wasn't around you. Actions have consequences.

Fully agree with this. We get similar occasionally from my just turned 6 year old. An immediate consequence and talking about it calmly afterwards is exactly how I’d approach it.

@Mariposistaaa
do you have children?

if so, how old?

No thanks I don't indulged this kind of thing. Have a great day

What a tempest in a teapot. A five year old is still learning how to manage and therefore parent s are still teaching. One thing to teach is not to hit/lash out but another thing to teach is a sense of calm and proportion. Its sad and hurtful when we hit our friends and say mean things but its not the end of the fucking world. A child needs to be corrected and shown how to make an apology and return back into good standing. Punishment (whether no tv or a beating per miss @Alwaysalwayscold ) just teaches a child that they must suffer pain until bigger people decide to end the punishment. Teaching the child how to make a sincere apology is a much healthier route and one OP’s child has mastered by making her little present. Good going OP.

Things have certainly changed since my children were 5. I honestly cannot remember my children hitting me or the children of my friends ever hitting their parents and saying what this girl has said to her mother.

Just awful behaviour.