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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cancelling date because of the weather?

105 replies

Celia24 · 16/01/2024 13:18

I haven't seen the guy I've been dating in 4 weeks due to Christmas holidays and visiting families etc

He's just said maybe we should reschedule our Saturday dinner date due to upcoming heavy rain scheduled. As in for the following week.

AIBU to think this is ridiculous? Or I am being thoughtless?

He then said 'if you insist I'll still book the table though'. I haven't insisted anything. I just really want to see him and it's been ages!

Crap weather is crap but we're going to a restaurant.

OP posts:
craigth162 · 16/01/2024 13:31

Yeah id say no problem and leave it. Assuming youre in the UK - if we never went out qhen it was raining we'd never leave the house

Pineapplewaves · 16/01/2024 13:33

Celia24 · 16/01/2024 13:26

Not sure @TeachesOfPeaches - he is travelling from further away on the train. So that might be on his mind. But he didn't actually say this.

How far is he travelling on the train? Maybe he is worried about delays, flooding, his return train being cancelled?

Is the plan that he goes home afterwards or can he stay at yours if his train home is cancelled and there's no other way back?

Can he not drive?

Original poster
Celia24 · 16/01/2024 13:33

It's the if you insist I'll book the table part. No, I don't twist any man's arm to spend time with me.

How did he go from full enthusiasm last night to this today?

OP posts:
PinkEasterbunny · 16/01/2024 13:35

rosesinmygarden · 16/01/2024 13:28

I think I'd either just not reply or say, "no worries" and leave it. Let him do the running and make the next move.

In the nicest way possible, he just doesn't sound that bothered about seeing you. You're worth the effort and he's not willing.

Clearly not worth any more of your time OP - plenty more fish in the sea...

This!

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 16/01/2024 13:35

To be fair, I don’t know where you are based but have rain and -7 degree temperatures with all sorts of warning about travel disruption...
A few people couldn’t get into work today because of it.

Original poster
Celia24 · 16/01/2024 13:36

@Lastqueenofscotland2 yes I'm in Scotland. Travel disruption seems to have mostly shifted by weekend.

Outing but I'm in Glasgow. The forecast says light rain by Sat.

OP posts:
Original poster
Celia24 · 16/01/2024 13:37

@Pineapplewaves it's possibly a concern m but he hasn't mentioned it from that perspective. I guess I can ask.

It seems he's being a bit rigid but I don't want to see him like I care less if he gets home.

OP posts:
Givemegoldensun · 16/01/2024 13:38

If you haven’t seen him in 4 weeks, he is cancelling because of light rain and using words like ‘insist’ he is doing the slow fade. Essentially he is a coward. He doesn’t want to break up with you so he is behaving so unreasonably that you will be forced to break up with him. That way he can feel no guilt and maybe even suggest you continue your relationship on an increasingly casual basis (read: sex only). If you’re ok with that let him rearrange and see what happens. But I would think and hope that your bar is much much higher and you deserve much much better. Sorry for the blunt truth but I wish someone had told me this in my twenties and maybe it wouldn’t have taken me to 33 to find something real.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 16/01/2024 13:43

Either he has had a better offer or has checked his bank account and does not want to shell out for a restaurant.

GlacindaTheTroll · 16/01/2024 13:43

Maybe he's a gremlin.

Or is worried you might be Grin

TheCurlyKnobhead · 16/01/2024 13:45

GlacindaTheTroll · 16/01/2024 13:43

Maybe he's a gremlin.

Or is worried you might be Grin

Grin
Original poster
Celia24 · 16/01/2024 13:46

I really don't think he is doing the slow fade.

He's been messaging or calling every day for weeks. Today's message about the rain is the first time I've gone 'huh?'

OP posts:
BoohooWoohoo · 16/01/2024 13:46

If you live in England then it’s rainy for like 8 months of the year so I wouldn’t be impressed either.

BrightGreenMoonBuggy · 16/01/2024 13:46

Is he made of beige suede? If not, the rain won’t do him any long term damage. Might be worth pointing this out.

Original poster
Celia24 · 16/01/2024 13:48

He's from another country but has lived here 2 years so ought to know better.

OP posts:
TheSandHurtsMyFeelings · 16/01/2024 13:48

You live in western Scotland and yet he's cancelling because of rain??

Original poster
Celia24 · 16/01/2024 13:48

Right, it's sunny on Thursday and I know he's free then. So I'll give him the option

If he still balks...

OP posts:
mrmagpie · 16/01/2024 13:50

I live in Glasgow too and if he's scared of rain you will literally never see the guy, so I'd throw this one back.

TheSandHurtsMyFeelings · 16/01/2024 13:50

Tbh OP, the 'if you insist' would really grind my gears, rain or no rain.

How long have you been seeing him?

Original poster
Celia24 · 16/01/2024 13:52

2 months @TheSandHurtsMyFeelings

And the insist thing came out of the blue. There has been no conversation about it before. English isn't his first language so I'm willing to be a bit lenient. But not much...

OP posts:
ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 16/01/2024 13:54

Celia24 · 16/01/2024 13:52

2 months @TheSandHurtsMyFeelings

And the insist thing came out of the blue. There has been no conversation about it before. English isn't his first language so I'm willing to be a bit lenient. But not much...

The 'insist' is hopefully the misuse of a word.

TheCurlyKnobhead · 16/01/2024 13:55

Celia24 · 16/01/2024 13:33

It's the if you insist I'll book the table part. No, I don't twist any man's arm to spend time with me.

How did he go from full enthusiasm last night to this today?

That's why I think he's not that into you, it sounds like you haven't been dating long but you should totally be in the honeymoon phase.

I'd personally throw this one back or do as a PP suggests, just reply with "no worries", leave it there and see if he arranges anything else. If he doesn't you have your answer

Original poster
Celia24 · 16/01/2024 13:57

@TheCurlyKnobhead he's already suggested rearranging for next week but I will be well and truly checked out. Too long after we'd already agreed this week and excited about it

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 16/01/2024 13:59

"If I 'insist'??"

TheCurlyKnobhead · 16/01/2024 14:00

Celia24 · 16/01/2024 13:57

@TheCurlyKnobhead he's already suggested rearranging for next week but I will be well and truly checked out. Too long after we'd already agreed this week and excited about it

So then, just say no worries and let me know when suits - see what happens