I only have one dc, will be 2 in October. I am a single parent, ex sees dc weekly for the full day. Dc quite clingy with me and ex is not very confident parenting but he does help and will let me crack on with jobs in the house etc while he entertains dc. I think he’s terrible for only doing one day a week but it’s a conversation we’ve had many times, he won’t change.
At the moment I work Monday to Wednesday and use holiday Thursday and Friday. Had a lot left over from mat leave and wanted to cut nursery cost and spend as much time with dc so they didn’t have to be in nursery much. I’m finding it so hard! Had to pick dc up a couple of times with a temperature so then I’m not doing well at work. I have to do 15 things before even dropping dc at nursery and starting work. I feel like I’m on a treadmill that I can’t get off even though I feel close to falling.
When I’m at home with dc it is HARD. Nothing I do is right? Dc is pretty chilled and does nap and isn’t difficult but what can you do with a child this small? We do go out but as they’re not walking i find it physically horrendous to pack up the car, lift pushchairs, carry them in and out of the car and into high chairs. My back hurts from the resistance with nappy changes. I know I sound pathetic, I’m not very physically strong so it’s my fault, but I just feel 80% of the day is getting through with some minor enjoyment. I am not sure if dc is happy. They cry at the slightest thing. I do try my best. I know I could go back to work 5 days a week but nursery cost would be truly awful and I didn’t want to have dc there more than 3 days a week while so young. I don’t have practical family support.
I didn’t imagine it like this? I don’t know who I am anymore. My friend said to book myself into a spa but the sad thing is that even on 55k I don’t have a penny left over for myself. It’s not an option to do such things. I look really awful too. I feel I’ve aged 5 years in the last two.
I just have to carry on don’t I. I am struggling.