Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

What about grandparents? If you have a baby at 50, the chances are that child may not have grandparents or they'll be too old to enjoy them (especially if they were old parents themselves!) There could quite likely be a clash on the 50 year old parent's time of supporting their elderly parents and looking after a young child at a time when health issues can emerge.
The difference between my hearing in my 40s to 50s is stark. All very well saying 'I keep fit' but some conditions happen anyway or are genetic. Certainly my chronic condition is inherited.

Nor hearing! Health

My parents had me very early 20s and I've never known my grandparents. I survived without them. They're nice to have but not required.

Bemused why you think 30 is too old and grim to have children. Do you want to explain why you think so?

Stop projecting the word grim on to me.

Unless I have mistaken you for a different poster you said "grim" hence why I am saying it.

Post a quote where I said grim.

what are you talking about. It's not a coincidental "correlation". The reason people are more stable as older parents is absolutely to do with age - it's about maturity, life experience, finances, stage in life etc. You can pretend it's not but that's completely non sensical.

Fine I apologise you didn't say grim but mental isnt exactly less offensive!

As in, you can be 30 and still have a smart, tall, high achieving child and have good health and plenty of years left

Well yes you can. And sometimes this isn't the outcome. The fact is, despite your obvious prejudices, research shows that children of older parents are in general healthier, more well adjusted and do better than children of younger parents.

I'll never understand why people pretend like there are no disadvantages to being an older parent, there are, as with any age

No one is pretending their aren't disadvantages. It's you who is refusing to acknowledge that there are also many advantages to being an older parent. And the evidence suggests that the advantages of being older outweigh the disadvantages when it comes to outcomes for children in terms of health, school performance, and social/emotional adjustment.

@Tandora

No... I quite clearly agree that older parents are correlated with certain advantages. There's no benefit to being 50 over 40 however.

You are more at risk of death and poor health than a 40 or 30 yo parent at birth - who's children equally, have similar levels of educational achievement and height (😂).

There is no benefit to being 50 over being 10 years younger.__

@Tandora, since I accuse me of not realising the advantages of having a baby at 50, why don't you tell me what you think the advantages and disadvantages are?

Because as I say, there are pros and cons to every age. Nobody denies some of the downsides to being on the liver end but people go stupid when it comes to the opposite. Suddenly it's all wonderful:

• don't need grandparents or support
• money: so life is perfect
• my aunts friend lived til 98 and as still doing gymnastics
• my cousin was 30 and died of cancer

There's no benefit to being 50 over 40 however.
You are more at risk of death and poor health than a 40 or 30 yo parent at birth - who's children equally, have similar levels of educational achievement and height (😂).

I mean you have absolutely no way of knowing this. We know there are greater health risks at 50 than at 40, but please point me to the research that says specifically that there is "no benefit" to being a parent at 50 compared to 40 or 30, or that all groups of children have "similar levels of educational achievement and height". You are just making things up because they fit with the narrative in your head.

As far as benefit, I am 50. There would be some benefits to a child I bought into the world now just as there were other benefits to the children I brought into the world before 30. Optimal would be the person I am now having the kids at the younger age.

@Tandora what are the advantages and disadvantages of having a baby at 50, do you think?

If it happened naturally/without assistance and I didn't already have living children then probably yes I would go through with it if I fell pregnant. If I needed assistance then personally no. I had mine late (39 & 45 - met DH relatively late in life and it took a while). Theoretically I would have loved a 3rd but really I think I was a bit old for my existing DC (albeit it wasn't by choice in that I would have had them younger & with a smaller age gap had it been possible) so I definitely wouldn't go for another now (not 50 yet).

I feel like this is going round in circles?
All of those already mentioned of course! Most people are wealthier at 50 than they are at 30, they have more emotional maturity, more life experience, etc. (these are helpful attributes/assets when starting a family). For some reason, you seem to think these benefits cap at 30 or 40, I have no idea why.

Obviously there will come a point where the advantages of being older (in terms of stability/ maturity etc.) are generally outweighed by the disadvantages, but we don't know from the research exactly where that point is.

There is no need for people to be forming such strong and judgemental opinions on the subject. Yes there are risks associated with health when you have children older, there are also many potential advantages of being older when you start a family.

No, I’m 46 and have one teenage DD. Have met a man I love deeply. 10 years ago I’d have loved to have a child with him but my thoughts are now focussed on retirement plans, travel, freedom from the constraints of parenthood. He is 100% aware, and has known from day1, that babies aren’t part of my future.

@Tandora can you link me to these studies? Anything I can find correlates with these parents being richer i.e. since nearly all mums 50 or over will have had expensive fertility treatment, they tend to be well off families.

I certainly would not plan for it. But if I found myself pregnant at that age I'd have the baby.
I'd actively try until 44/45 if I wanted another child, as it stands I'm almost 39 with lots of energy and feel young.

I think it's more the issue of raising a child and teen in your late 50s/60s which would cause problems.
I know a woman who's mum had her (naturally) at 49 and she spent her late 20s to early 30s caring for her elderly parents before they died.

Obviously it is different for men, but one of DDs friends dad's is 66 and has a 6 year old and 1 year old baby! Now that's too old in my eyes, even if he is very young at heart.

Have you seen the state we've made of the world? Why would you want to bring anyone into it at any age?

Oh God, here we go. We're all doomed, DOOMED. <Please ignore the fact that there's hardly been a time in the history of mankind when life has been easier>

Easier in what way?

Lack of disease, famine, most people here have never had their nose up to a war, improved literacy, medicine, a communication revolution so you have access to a wealth and knowledge from a device in your pocket, ability to control for family size, off the bat while I'm in the middle of the school run

no