To think my mother should put me above Church and praying now and again

[fairyfly]

Actually writing that down i probably am being dreadfully unreasonable as it is a sin to put others before God i think.

I am just sulking as i wanted her to babysit and she said, nope, i will be in church praying for you instead. Sanctimonious sod.

I guess it's up to her whether she babysits or not but if she simply didn't want to she should at least have been honest about it - after all you can pray anywhere, or do prayers somehow have more meaning in a church ? I think not.

I agree Catsmother, i also think she should babysit for one evening though. Instead of praying she should ask me how i am feeling at the moment and what can she do to help.
I hope that's wht i do when my children are older, not cut them off for a love affair with the lord.

lol at "no more than a pet" !

Remember I used to stay with my ex at his parents house and the only time we got to be together (you know what I mean) was when his devout parents went off to mass.

sounds like church is more about her social life than anything else, otherwise she could have been at your house doing her praying

and actually acting like a christian

I feel your pain on this one. Boths sets of parents are Christian, mine seem to live the life so to speak and are 'normal', Dh's are still in my bad books for refusing to come to Dd1's 3rd birthday as they had to go to church Yeah, like they don't do that every week, would one week off have killed them? SOmetimes I feel like they're chalking up brownie points to get into the VIP section of heaven....... sorry, rant over!

FF

I guessed from your first post that this was going to be a Thursday question.

I presume she has arranged to keep vigil ??

If so, you really need to respect that.

Could she help you out on Good Friday evening ??

Can you both compromise ??

HGlossop

Holy Week services are not about a social life.

I try to respect it LGJ but i wont see her all over Easter and i think i am going to feel quite cut off and i think maybe she should ask me how i am etc.

You are right actually if she wants to be in Church at this important time in the Christian calender i should respect it.

I think i am fed up as this is a constant all year round thing.
I find it quite obsessive hidden behind the protection of "doing good, being pure, etc etc"

I am quite sick of feeling i don't have the support of my mum . When i see her i have to leave and make excuses because after half an hour i find her constant talk on Catholism quite draining and passive aggressive.

I find her outlook on life quite unrealistic and misguided under the protection of a comfortable material life and a supportive husband.

I think Christianity is so much more than weeping and praying and lighting candles and singing. I think absolutely that it starts at home and she should be making sure her daughter isn't sat alone on Easter Sunday.

I didn't mean this to turn into a self pitying thread, that is absolutely not what i mean. I will have a good time and make sure i enjoy it.

But my point is if you spend all your time in church praying for people, shoudn't you firstly check these people are ok and maybe what it is you are praying for?

I probably have got the entire concept of faith wrong these days and should respect her dedication. This post is all over the place isn't it! I am thinking as i write it.

Good luck to my mum and she can chose to spend her time how ever she see fit and i am being a spoilt cow and her faith and dedication to it is something to be admired.

Sorry.

ff i think, i understand how you feel, its like she just praying for you when she could actually be helping you.

yanbu

There is a halfway house, on this...IMO

I really would not expect anyone to not attend their chosen services over Holy Week.

However there is IMO, a difference to particapating in Holy Week and enjoying it as opposed to the the rest of the time where it could be construed as just plain ordinary God bothering.

Can't she take your children to church with her?

great idea GFM

Well it goes a bit like this

ME:Mother i have been assaulted and phoned the police

HER: How dare you seek an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, the police should not be involved at all, go to church now and pray for forgiveness.

ME: I have split up with my partner

HER: How dare you put me through this, did i not tell you not to have sex before marriage,, you deserve everything you get

ME: Will you babysit

HER; No, it is a very important week and i shall pray for you instead.

It's bloody nutty, when i go to her house i have to hold a candle when i arrive and sing this stupid song.

I also have to sit in her Prayer room if i want to stay the night.

Once she burst into tears in the middle of a restaurant and when i asked her what was wrong she said, do you know what it's like to not be with the man you love. I said errrr yes, a bit. She said, no, no ,no, i am waiting to be in gods arms it is pure love you must learn how to feel.

I am sorry but i am laughing now, surely it's not normal behaiviour. But it is in Church!!!!!!!!!!!! It is marvellous and wonderful and great at church, but in rl sat round a dinner table it is madness!!!!

tbh she doesn't sound very well to me, also she doesnt sound too nice really tbh, is she nice at other times?

Yes, she is nice to Church people

yes but is she ver nice to you ff and your children?

You're right, that's not normal.

No, i wouldn't say she was nice to me, at all.

But, yes to my kids, she is nice to them, when she feels like it.

FF
if this is her sort of response to a very difficult thing for you to go through

ME: I have split up with my partner

HER: How dare you put me through this, did i not tell you not to have sex before marriage,, you deserve everything you get

i do not think, its acceptable.
id be tempted to tell her a few home truths tbh,
my mums a nightmare at times, and we don't always get on too great, but there are also times when she wonderful and supportive and lovely. if it wasn't for the fact shes sometimes nice id have dumped her years ago iykwim?

No, i once told her that i didn't agree with her and i heard her ringing everyone saying i was taking things out on her and i needed to be prayed for. I cannot be arsed with the manipulation. I leave her to it. I am incredibly quiet in her company ( which she puts down to anything but her) i smile, i don't rise to the bait and then i leave. But this holier than though crap has completely put me off the church. Hiding behind God and using it to answer anything because you haven't got any other answers is just infuriating.
It makes me wonder how many others in the church who are shaking hnds and saying god bless and how caring they are are sat in mass on a Sunday.

Hypocritical shite.

She has a prayer room?
I've known a lot of Catholics, and none of them had one of those. Some of them were nuns and priests.....

Yup

sounds like shes started getting sort of obbessed with it really ff.
how about putting some distance between yourself and her?

I have Lionbeast. I just wanted her to babysit so i suppose you could say i was trying to use her.

I feel reallu guilty now, i have just completely torn my mother apart, i think i shall get this hread deleted as cathartic as it's been and go to church in the morning!!!!!

why on earth should you feel guilty ff, im sad your mum makes you feel like this.