Please tell me this can't be true!

[JaffaCake70]

My Mum visited this afternoon, we were talking about wills and things that the departed have left in trust for their loved ones. During the course of the conversation Mum told me the following:

When my Grandmother passed away a few years ago at the age of 82, my Mum's older Sister wanted her wedding ring (for sentimental reasons).

When my Auntie went to collect the ring the undertakers gave it to her and told her that it had been stuck on my Nanna's finger so tight that they had cut her finger off in order to retrieve the ring.

I feel sick. Please please please tell me that this can't possibly be true? Has anyone else had experience of anything like this? I just can't believe it's true.. but if it's not true why would my Auntie, who isn't one for making things up, say it is?

My Mum and Auntie get on very well, have never fallen out or anything like that.

Apparently my Auntie was very upset when she was told this by the funeral directors. It is my belief that the ring had not been cut and had no sign of damage.

I just can't believe it's true, I'm wondering now if my Mum has remembered the story wrong and they actually broke Nanna's knuckle. This is much more likely than them cutting her finger off isn't it?

is your aunt still alive? why not ask her?

Could you call the undertakers and ask them?

As a jeweller rings can get stuck on fingers however having been in the situation of helping someone get a stuck ring off a finger many many times I think that there is a misunderstanding.

You wouldn't cut the finger OFF, but you might make a small incision that allowed some blood fluid to drain out causing the finger to shrink at which point it would be easy to remove the ring.

They cut the ring. Not the finger off.

I don't think that'd be necessary but agree they'd do that before cutting the finger off.

My rings are lovely. I’d miles rather the girls demanded my cold dead hands were chopped off so they could wear them in good nick.

This sound most plausible - otherwise cutting the ring and then getting it fixed afterwards.

It sounds like someone mishearing and got upset or had a poor explanation and didn't ask for proper details and filled in blanks in most lurid way.

How long ago was it?
Just thinking pre 2000s it might have happened - that was when the inquest into the 1989 Marchioness disaster happened where there was huge public outcry about the decision to cut off the hands of the victims and send them for identification because they didn't have sufficient facilities to manage the full bodies.

To be honest having been to postmortems this wouldn't bother me as one finger is nothing compared to what they do to bodies there. Same with people who havent opted out of organ donation etc. Although I can absolutely understand its not nice to think about when it's your family member particularly for something without medical necessity like a ring.

Used to work for an undertaker. They used the cotton method to remove rings.

I would hate to think that this was true. There was justified outrage in the late 80s when the victims of a public disaster (the sinking of the Marchioness boat) had their hands cut off 'to save time' for the authorities conducting fingerprint identification. And then after the organ retention scandal in the late 90s/early 00s, surely those with a responsibility for the dead are far more aware of sensibilities around unnecessary actions on bodies?

I'm also in the 'not true' camp. Not that I'm suggesting your mum or aunt would lie, but as PP have suggested upthread, it sounds more likely that there's been a miscommunication about what exactly was cut off.

Surely the ring was cut?
My Granny never once removed her wedding ring.
It was wedged onto her finger.
I think it’s better to be buried with it.

To be fair, if that is what happened, she didn't need that finger anymore anyway.

I'm a nurse and have removed rings from deceased patients on lots of occasions. Soft paraffin oil works really well but in the case of enlarged knuckles due to arthritic changes, we would gain consent to cut the ring off - not cut the finger off. I'm pretty sure your Aunt misunderstood what the undertaker said. I've never heard of a finger being severed to remove a ring.

I’m amazed that anybody would be naïve enough to fall for this tale 😂

I suspect what your auntie actually said was 'The ring was so tight on her finger, they had to cut it off', meaning THE RING was cut, not the finger, and your mum just misunderstood.

Exactly! I've had to have a ring cut off my finger by a jeweller before - they definitely didn't cut my finger off!
If it is true I'd be astounded 😲

Surely they’d just use compression like they do in hospital? No need to cut anyone’s finger off or break their knuckle. Even cutting the ring itself would be a last resort.

When my DM died the hospital asked me If if I wanted the ring taken off her hand. I said no, as I thought my DF would want her buried with her rings on.What the hell did I know Anyway when Dad arrived at the hospital he said mum was being cremated,and he wanted the ring, but it was too late to take it off easily. The hospital said the undertakers would have to do it after secondary relaxation ( after rigor mortis passes 36 hours after death) . When my DF died the care home staff took his ring off before we got to see him, so not an issue.

Unlikely as that's desecrating a corpse

Of course it's not true ! Do you think they might of meant they cut off the ring rather than the finger ??
I used to work in a hospice and we would frequently have to remove wedding rings from the deceased. Never known one that we couldn't get off although may be very different after a few days of being deceased.

When my DM died in a Care Home, the undertakers checked her fingers for rings, etc. I am surprised an earlier poster said that in their case the rings were left on.
In MY DM's case, the Care Home had removed the ring, as her fingers became swollen. This had happened some years before her death. Neither ring, nor finger had been cut.
However, I did think the ring had been lost at the home somewhere, until my DB remembered they had given it to him. (and which he subsequently gave to me).

They cannot cut off body parts!

It's a miscommunication.

I think the message has got garbled - Chinese Whispers style.

I'm sure undertakers can remove rings. Either with oil or cutting it.

I've had a ring cut off myself, it took an A&E nurse 5mins with a nifty gadget. My finger was swelling and I felt I had no real option.

Sure it's not just your mum trying to point the finger at your auntie?!