To not feel broody for a third child?

[Takeitinturns]

I seem to come across quite a lot of threads from posters who are desperate for a third, or at least feel in their heart that they want another, don’t feel “done”, feel someone is missing etc. But are usually weighing these feelings up against financial reasons, a reluctant DH etc.

Am i uncommon in experiencing zero broodiness, which I felt strongly first and second time round? I’m trying to make sense the fact that I don’t feel broody, don’t want another, don’t feel it would make me or my family happier, but still have the thought crop up quite often.

Also wondering whether the broodiness returns late 30s, that’s what some seem to experience.

Anyway, anyone else feel this way?

I really wanted a third and didn’t think it could ever happen, we had to have a big gap due to genetic testing and it was a difficult journey. I would still have a fourth…and a fifth so I am of absolutely no help to your question. I don’t think I’d ever feel ‘done’. I know lots of people who have stopped at two though and haven’t expressed wishes for number 3, they could have them though I suppose and just haven’t shared that.

I had two children with my ex-husband and was done.
Then along came my now husband who had always wanted children but accepted he was unlikely to be a biological dad and that stepkids would be the next best thing. I told him I didn't want any more now that my boys were older and he was good with that.
I then fell pregnant completely unplanned at 38; was taking the mini-pill absolutely perfectly so it was a huge shock! Took us a while to adjust but them started coming around to the idea. Sadly I miscarried and we were both gutted. Our minds began to change.
At 39 we had our first baby together (height of bloody lockdown but amazlng home birth!) and have never looked back.
So my kids are 3, 13 and 16.
No more though - hubby has had a vasectomy 😞

I still think about having a 6th but realistically I won't act on it. I'm definitely done with 5. Maybe its when it comes to scary changes in your life like your youngest starting school then you think about having another. I know I couldn't go back to the baby days and need to enjoy the children I have. Maybe if I became a millionaire, my husband was more supportive and someone would do the school mornings for me I'd have afew more. Only you know for sure how you feel

Really desperately wanted DC1 and DC2. I knew as soon as I was pregnant with DC2 that if all went well we were completely done after that, and fortunately DH felt the same way. Have never wavered from that position, even other people’s newborns that I used to fawn over I’m now very “meh” about. I occasionally wonder what a hypothetical DC3 would have been like (sex, personality etc) but I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to actually find out!

Most people have two, don’t they?

I have two and honestly the thought of having a third is my worst nightmare. I was never broody again after I'd had my second and I'd been SO broody for them before having them. I was desperate to be a mum. The only way I can describe it is like a switch has turned off in me. The thought of having more has never even crossed my mind!

I have 2 and I am not broody for a third, but tbh I never experienced broodiness with 1 or 2 either. It was more of a calculated decision based on the life and family I wanted as an end result - it worked out perfectly, and a third would be an unnecessary burden for no extra advantage for our family.

I am COMPLETELY done with two. 100%. I wanted both of them desperately, we spent thousands on IVF for my second because we were both infertile, and we are so happy to have her. A third though?! Absolutely no way 🤣 I love babies and kids are lovely, but the thought of starting again fills me with fear!

Not alone. I always thought I’ll have 2 kids (guess societial expectations?). Once I had one I had zero desire for more… so that was it. I had my only at 38 and now almost mid 40s … so no, broodiness didn’t return.

I have two, both longed for and was so excited and broodie etc. couldn't think of anything worse than having a third 😂 I knew when we where about to try for our second that it would be our last.

X

Maybe your family is just complete now and you’re not supposed to have more than two. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with only having two children if that’s all you want. I don’t even think it’s unusual as most people stop at two. I know my mum was desperate for children for years before she had them but never had any desire for more after me and my sister were born. I only have one child and currently plan to have more than two, but who knows I may change my mind and feel ‘done’ after the next one. I definitely don’t feel done at the moment though.

I have 3, and I after my 3rd it was a proper switch, I am never doing this again, and I am not sad about the baby stage being over, toddler land is a pain in the arse. I think generally you just know when your done.

I happily stuck at one, having initially planned to have two.

I've never felt broody in my life. I have an only and have never wanted more.

I don't even feel broody for number 2, as DC1 is hard bloody work and I am not putting myself through the toddler years a second time.

Not uncommon at al! I was hugely broody for my two and absolutely a million % do not want another!! Love the two I have of course but I'm done.

It’s normal. Most people don’t have three children for this very reason.

I was two and done, then my partner died, fast forward several years and I met my husband and had a third. But it was specifically because of this relationship and I wanted a child with him too.

Two is plenty. Life is so expensive, I’d rather have two and be able to support them.

Exactly. There is no way in hell I would ever have 3. Even 2 is expensive enough.

No, def not the only one. I am so desperate for a third tho, but one of my best friends is one and done and we've been talking about this a lot recently. I can't imagine that it's possible to stop wanting another, while she can't imagine why would anyone double the struggle while already having the pluses of motherhood.

Never wanted a third. Never wanted to have to worry about what car we could all fit in or who shared rooms or have a middle child or be excluded from most family tickets at attractions or not be able to comfortably fit it one family hotel room.

These threads make me so grateful I feel completely done after two! I REALLY hope I don't get the perimeno broodiness I see mentioned on here often as I couldn't cope with three

@Newnamesameoldlurker I am in peri and sometimes I want to return the ones I have!

I am absolutely NOT broody for a third child. I was almost desperate at times when trying for our two boys but as soon as my youngest (now 2) was born, all that broodyness went away. Of course people always ask 'anymore?' But it'd a firm no and I have a long list of reasons why. My main reason being i don't think i could cope with a third and look after all 3 children properly and thats something unfortunately a lot of people i know who have 3/4/5/6 kids dont take into consideration and think about their realistic limits. I adore tiny babies and tiny baby clothes, but it just makes me go 'awwwww' and not 'omg I want a baby'. Also, one child in each hand, perfect.