To not feel broody for a third child?

[Takeitinturns]

I seem to come across quite a lot of threads from posters who are desperate for a third, or at least feel in their heart that they want another, don’t feel “done”, feel someone is missing etc. But are usually weighing these feelings up against financial reasons, a reluctant DH etc.

Am i uncommon in experiencing zero broodiness, which I felt strongly first and second time round? I’m trying to make sense the fact that I don’t feel broody, don’t want another, don’t feel it would make me or my family happier, but still have the thought crop up quite often.

Also wondering whether the broodiness returns late 30s, that’s what some seem to experience.

Anyway, anyone else feel this way?

I wasn't broody for a 2nd. Everybody I knew kept asking when there would be another but I just never felt the urge to do it again.

Christ no. When I was growing up I hardly knew anyone with more than one sibling. Very middle class town in the 80s. Few of my friends have more than one either.

I am constantly shocked at the number of people I meet at work and read about on here with 3 kids. I think you’ll get more people with 2+ kids on a parenting forum as clearly parenting is a bit of a hobby for them…

@Takeitinturns I'm one and done. Currently in my late thirties with zero broodiness. My daughter was very much wanted, but after she was born it was like a switch turned off and I've never wanted another child.

It just varies from person to person.

I think two is enough and affordable for most people. Think childcare, housing, holidays, days out. Then it gets really expensive when you have two needing uni accommodation at the same time. I have two and have managed to keep up a career, my dsis has 3 and has always struggled because their household income has taken a greater hit. Although her dh earns a bit more then mine, she has never been able to get more than minimum wage part time term time work.

Same for me. My kids are great but when they were smaller I had actual nightmares of being pregnant with a third, waking up thinking ‘phew!’.

Not unusual at all to not want to, I did for years, but now mine are young adults i thank myself i didnt, it's way more stressful and hectic now, and they'll probably be eating me out of house and home till they are 30. I also changed as a person, i got to crave my own time and now get that, if i had the 3rd it would take me longer to get there !

I come across loads of threads from people saying they’re happily one and done 🤷🏻‍♀️Most people I know happily have 0, 1 or 2 kids. Odd thread, there’s no expectation for you to have to have a third.

I was broody for number 2 when number 1 was only days old 😅I wasn't physically or mentally ready to try for nr2 until nr1 was 2yo though.
Growing up I always wanted 4, but I now know 2 is enough. I hate pregnancy and am only now starting to get some time back to myself with them being at school and nursery (6 and 3yo). I do think about a 3rd sometimes, but I'm not really truly broody, I couldn't cope/be a good mother if we added in more children, OH is done at 2 too. I think I more would like another baby/toddler than another child, which would obviously be a bad reason to have another. So, I'm late 30s and 2 and through with little to no broodiness (my mum however would love me to have a third in the hopes of a granddaughter).

I have 2 and was broody for both of them. The thought of having a 3rd makes me recoil in horror! I absolutely adore both my children and wouldn't be without them but both I and my husband are 100% sure we are done. It just doesn't make sense to us to have a third for so many reasons and we just don't have the urge. So no it's not unusual not to feel broody. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing little newborn babies but the thought of me having another newborn, no way.

I definitely madly wanted my two. I was desperate for my first, slightly more relaxed with my second but we both knew we wanted two definitely. They’re 2 years apart. Now the little one will start school in September and I am quite upset about it, and everyone keeps saying “Oh you’ll have another baby,” but I don’t want another baby…I want my two babies back, the ones which are all grown up now. These have honestly been the happiest, most defining years of my life with my girls. I feel so sad that this stage is over, despite being excited for what her school days will bring. It just goes too fast :(

I don’t think having a third will cure this weird feeling of loss. I know I am incredibly lucky and haven’t really lost anything…it’s just weird how the baby and toddler years just go and suddenly you have to share them with everyone else!

This is how I feel. I’ve got 3 and find it really strange that I’ll never be pregnant or have a newborn again, I don’t know when I’d ever really feel ‘done’ in that sense. I won’t have another though, my youngest is 2 now and I know it wouldn’t be sensible to have another, and in reality I don’t want to do sleepless nights again. The strange thing is I don’t look at other peoples babies and think they’re cute or anything, I assume it’s a biological urge type thing that’ll stop as I age.

I'm 2 & done without a doubt, I knew when I was pregnant with my 2nd I was never doing it again (complicated pregnancies) & then my partner left when our youngest was 8 months old & I was a single mother, he had been cheating on me & OW was pregnant so he moved in with her, they've had 2 babies in the 2 years since he left. I know even if I meet someone (which is nowhere near my mind) I'll never have another I'm 40 now & honestly feel not an ounce of broodiness

I wasn't overly broody for baby #2 as the birth was a shit show for number 1 but knew we wanted two children if we could. #2 then took 4 years to happen despite falling pregnant quickly with our eldest plus an ectopic and miscarriage along the way. We were just about to officially stop trying when I found out I was pregnant again. As a result there's a 6.5 age gap between our children.

I was really happy when I found out I was pregnant but also really scared, right up until baby was here (very difficult pregnancy and the threat of a difficult delivery from our eldest). Since our second child arrived (delivery went smoothly, no sign of the issue experienced with our first child) though I've felt broody for a third, it's really taken me by surprise, I was expecting lots of relief (which I've had) but also a feeling of "phew, don't need to do that ever again" but it's not happened! I'm not going to roll the dice again but I'd like to.

Every person is different. There are no rules. I frankly feel so disconnected with these feelings of having a certain number of kids. I had what was suitable for my situation financially but also realistic about how things would work for us. Do not feel odd about it.

I had a little wobble for a third when my youngest went to school. Said to myself if I still feel like this in 6 months, then maybe we should go for it. As it happens, by the Christmas holidays I was fine, realised it was just the end of that stage of being a mum making me question things. She's 10 now and I'm 39. Two was the right number for us.

Maybe your rationale brain is taking over. No one (and the planet) needs more than 2 kids.

I didn't feel broody for a third until my second was about 8. Then wham. But a year or so after having my third I entered peri menopause with a bang so wonder if my body was telling me something

I became a single parent when ds was 1.5 and did everything until my lazy ex found a partner and started doing a bit. That has killed my desire for more kids!

I hadn’t ever wanted any and ended up with 2. I couldn’t think of anything worse than a third or more.

Well rationally no one needs any. There are more than enough people on the planet.

Unreasonable? Why would it be?

100% broody for years before ds. I never wanted another in a visceral way after ds was born, though I badly wanted another for him. But given dh's poor health, we didn't do it. He's dead now and I'm glad we only had one, though I have no doubt ds would have preferred a sibling.

You're allowed to make a rational decision about your own life and thank goodness we can control our fertility.

I always wanted 3 and then we had our second and I am so done. It actually annoys me how anti no 3 I am, I would like to be more supportive to friends who say they want to try for number 3 but I can feel myself making a face.

Don't get me wrong I love a baby and more than happy to have a cuddle but I don't want one permanently. We had a hard time with DS health wise when he was a baby so it probably stems from that. I know a lot of people have surprise number 3 and I honestly think I would terminate if that happened. That's awful isn't it.

Also three is a very inconvenient number. If you add 3 children to 2 parents it is a nightmare to stay in hotels, cruise ships, or frankly even just going to a restaurant and either having to have two rooms, two tables, etc. with one extra hanger on. Four is a good round number.

I had two and the thought of having more has never crossed my mind. I only ever wanted one, tbh.
There was a poll here on MN a while back and a huge majority (84% IIRC) said that although they loved their 3rd child, given what they now know they'd stick with two.

I'm in my early 40s so now would be the time I'd get that 'last chance' broodiness but I really don't. I used to feel sad and envious when someone announced a pregnancy but now I just feel relieved. I've got 2 young DC and I'm starting to look forward to them being old enough to do more with and actually start enjoying our family unit rather than feeling exhausted all the time. Definitely couldn't go back to square one now with a newborn. I think you just know when you're done xx