To not feel broody for a third child?

[Takeitinturns]

I seem to come across quite a lot of threads from posters who are desperate for a third, or at least feel in their heart that they want another, don’t feel “done”, feel someone is missing etc. But are usually weighing these feelings up against financial reasons, a reluctant DH etc.

Am i uncommon in experiencing zero broodiness, which I felt strongly first and second time round? I’m trying to make sense the fact that I don’t feel broody, don’t want another, don’t feel it would make me or my family happier, but still have the thought crop up quite often.

Also wondering whether the broodiness returns late 30s, that’s what some seem to experience.

Anyway, anyone else feel this way?

If I could have more I would but financially we are good and any more would strain it. I had first 13 years ago and last 3 in the last 2 years. Adore the kids,love every day and came from big families both sides and we all support each other and have fun still as adults. So 4 it is but almost 39 I would still have loved more

Nice to see lots of people in a similar boat to me here, very happy with my x2 but no way would we go for x3. Had a short period during the toddler / baby phase of seriously considering it. I definitely mourned the loss of never being pregnant again, never giving birth etc. It was a weird time and hormones felt so strong. Possibly impacted by miscarriage trauma too.

Now though, I really can’t begin to imagine how we would cope with a 3rd, it really would break us. Mentally, financially.. Just about to get my life back when youngest goes to school and get back to work. Also, I do think it depends on the nature of the child. My eldest is incredibly challenging and life is a rollercoaster. Possibly could cope with x3 calmer children without additional needs.

I stopped feeling broody after one, and some people never feel broody at all! Clearly plenty of people aren’t desperate for a third or there would be many more families with three or more children.

Yeah I had 2 under 2 and my partner got vasectomy like 3 months after 2nd was born 😂 no way Jose

Three kids was never, ever on my radar. As soon as I had my second baby I was 100% done and did not feel remotely sad that my pregnancy days were over.

I never felt wistful about the end of each developmental stage either. No more weaning - great. No more potty training - great. No more preschool - great. And so on!

I feel like this! Early-mid 30’s and have no desire for a third, but it randomly pops into my head at least once a week! I’m worried I’ll get the intense broodiness in a few years as well.

I never felt broody and stopped at one.

I think it’s just the threads you see on here. I have three and read threads like those a lot. But the vast majority of my friends have one or two children, absolutely know they’re done and thought we were mad for having another. Own the feeling of knowing you’re done. I didn’t have it after two but it was the strongest feeling after number three was here and I was so grateful for the clarity of it.

Was always 2 that I wanted. Never more. In fact I swore I’d never give birth after watching a birth video as part of sex Ed at school. Had my eldest aged 32 and it took longer that expected to get pregnant. You spend all your younger years trying to not get pregnant then want to and can’t!! Eventually did. Very quick birth - too quick for pain relief. Decided we would go for number 2 after a year but took another so 3 year gap. Awful hyperemesis and another quick birth (even took myself to hospital earlier and they said I wasn’t in labour then suddenly I was pushing). The 2 kids have never got on really. Same sex. Was definitely done. DH wanted to keep going for the opposite sex. Then he decided to walk about when youngest was 18 months. 9 years later and I’m still single. He has a 3rd, same sex again. Didn’t stay with the mother (mother left him). I haven’t been in another relationship since. I’m late 40s now and that third baby urge has never happened.

My dp wants a third but I honestly don’t think I do we’ve got dd and ds and they still get 1on1 time with us with a 3rd I feel our dd would get pushed out as the eldest of four myself I had to become a third parent and I don’t want that for my dd.

I think lots of people know they are done after a certain number of babies. For most of my friends, that was 2 (some friends, one). For me, 3 was always a possibility but couldn't decide. At times, it was a yes-but-not-yet, at others it was oh-my-god-why-on-earth-do-we-think-we-could-cope-with-any-more but I never ever felt 'totally done'.

Now we have our 3rd, we are over the moon that she is here, and I have that knowing feeling myself of being done that I'd never had before.

I’ve never been broody in my life, though ended up with 2 ☺️ I think with my first it was a case of see if it happens, my second was planned somewhat as I knew if I had one I didn’t want them to be an only child. I’m one of 7 and my mother would still say she was broody after we were all grown 😳

I wonder if the sex of the DC plays a role. I so often hear parents of two but same sex say they’d like one more but often hear parents one each sex say “Nope, we’ve got one of each.”

I have one and no chance I'll be having another. Love the dynamic with just the three of us.

I was desperate for DC2,

Got a buy one get one free when i fell pregnant with twins so now have Dc3

I often wonder if I hadn't had the twins if I would have ever wanted more.

Definitely done, twins sucked the broodieness out my soul 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’m always broody it’s awful. A total obsession since I was 16 years old and had my first . I do feel a lot of it is down to being autistic and it became obsessive. I now just let nature decide for me as if I try to use contraception I get depressed so i have 8 now and who knows maybe I’ll have more maybe I’m too old (40) I literally can’t stop as soon as I leave hospital each time I’m planning the next

Similar for me after my daughter have never had a desire for another.

I think this is my situation, too. I never had a yearning for a baby or toddler, but quite like older kids (8 and up) and decided if I only did it once, I could suck up the baby and toddler stage.

I didn't enjoy being pregnant (severe SPD, difficulty sleeping, frequent migraines) and in the newborn phase I just felt trapped and limited by breastfeeding. I don't really get why anyone would yearn for that phase again.

I am currently enduring the terrible 2s with a very physical, climbing, escape artist toddler and just looking forward to when he's older and less difficult to manage, rather than looking backwards and wishing for another dependent newborn.

I think it is as normal to not want a third child as it is to want one.

Before I had our second, I thought I'd want to have more. I especially thought I'd want another if we ended up with two of the same sex, which we did. However, I couldn't be happier with the situation we have now. Two is perfect for us and to be honest the thought of going through it all again and having a third fills me with dread - so we are extra careful not to get pregnant.

When I had our second child, I felt an immense amount of guilt about not being able to give as much attention to both of them as I wanted to. We've found a balance now but the thought of splitting my attention three ways is something I know wouldn't work for me or my children.

My two close friends have had two, the same ages and sexes and they feel the same. In fact all of our DHs have either had the snip or are planning to.

I just absolutely know I'm done at two and never thought I'd feel like this but it's quite liberating really, nice to focus on what we have 💕.

a hobby? what a weird comment. some people genuinely enjoy motherhood and want a big family. that doesn’t make it a hobby :S

I think it is a hobby, in the sense that if you go for a 3rd child, you're making an active choice to devote all of your free time to parenting.
Unless you are exceedingly rich or the kids are massively spaced out, having three kids means that the only thing that you'll be doing outside of work is parenting.

I felt this physical broodiness before my first! I was astounded by how I felt.

that’s just not true though. you can have three kids and have an identity outside of parenthood and actual hobbies of your own.

Lots of people have 2 children with a small age gap and then 9 or 10 years later have a third. I've seen that pattern lots, maybe it's when you get to late 30s and suddenly all you can think of is having another one. I have 4dc with a large age gap between my first 2 and last 2. I did always want more - it just worked out that way. I had my youngest at age 42.

I wish I could stop but I just can’t , I’ll be glad when I reach menopause